# The Onion **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 19, 2003, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574 "2003-03-19T16:06:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/21 "2003-03-20T02:21:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lno \* > Damn them, I say. As a loyal fan, I proclaim it worst. episode. ever. Rest assured I was on the internet within minutes registering my complaint throughout the world. There’s…no…EMOTICON for what I’m feeling!! 🙂 I think this is the first time I have ever seen so many reruns in one issue. I passed the time by reading the archives. I’m glad I did, b/c for some reason I had never read this one before, and I wet myself reading it: [Just wait 'til I get these fucking rubber bands off](http://www.theonion.com/onion3841/just_wait_til_i_get.html) ---
**Author:** ![fizgig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f04885/32.png) [@fizgig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizgig)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/22 "2003-03-20T03:14:23Z")
The lobster editorial was hil-freakin-larious. I might have to read it again, since you linked. I was disappointed that this week was a re-run, but as mentioned upthread, hey, free entertainment. Gift-horse. Mouth. All that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/23 "2003-03-20T05:38:44Z")
The problem with Dave Barry is that all his articles have more cliches than a Fark photoshop thread. It’s like his columns are generated by Javascript any more. ---
**Author:** ![spinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@spinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spinky)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/24 "2003-03-20T05:46:44Z")
They even re-ran the horoscopes. The Libra one from this week has been on my office door for almost a year. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/25 "2003-03-20T06:03:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Those two far surpass any of the drivel that Jean Teasdale and Jim Anchower spew out. Jim Anchower is funny, but the Jean Teasdale stuff is _brilliant_\*. As a good friend of mine said, Jean Teasdale is almost Faulknerian in her subtlety. Excellent, excellent work. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/26 "2003-03-20T06:05:03Z")
Woops. Either italics or bold, really. Take yer pick. ---
**Author:** ![iconoplast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3d9bf3/32.png) [@iconoplast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iconoplast)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/27 "2003-03-20T14:58:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Munch \* > \*\*iconoplast, I seem to remember them throwing up a “This is last week’s issue, we’ll be back next week/month” for the last several years. \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*Same here. I guess my memory is jumping the shark. > > [sub]That didn’t make sense, and I used it wrong, but oh well[/sub] 😛 \*\* I’ll add an addendum to what I’ve said, then. The print version has done “Best Of” issues with new things in the A/V Club since at least 1996. I can’t vouch for the website, since I usually pick up the real thing every week. If they just started carrying that over to the website, well, then I’ll just be slinking over quietly into the corner. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/28 "2003-03-20T15:06:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > \*\*I love it when people complain that freebies aren’t up to snuff. 😛 > > “My Kroger store gives out stickers to kids, and man, are they ever UGly! Ugly ugly stickers. Why don’t they get some _nice_ stickers?..” > > Yep. \*\* “The food at that resort is terrible.” “I know. And such small portions, too.” – Woody Allen, I think ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/29 "2003-03-20T15:10:45Z")
Fanny Brice used that line in the 1920s, and I’ll bet _she_ stole it from someone. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/30 "2003-03-20T15:31:26Z")
so because its free we aren’t allowed draw critical conclusions based on their output? ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/31 "2003-03-20T17:33:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*so because its free we aren’t allowed draw critical conclusions based on their output? \*\* Just protest with your wallet. Oh, wait… ---
**Author:** ![regurgit8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/58f4c7/32.png) [@regurgit8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/regurgit8)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/32 "2003-03-20T17:45:29Z")
I love the man-on-the-street interviews in the Onion. That’s my favorite feature – the first one I go to. I couldn’t care less that this week’s are recycled. When the guy says (the topic is obesity) something like: “An ample bosom and a nice set of hips – I love that in a man” – that one had me rolling on the floor yesterday the same way it did the first time. BTW, does anyone know why the snooty looking old black guy is always a “systems analyst”? They never change his “profession”. Maybe one time out of 10, they make him a “lawyer”. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/33 "2003-03-20T17:48:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\*Just protest with your wallet. Oh, wait… \*\* Well, If I wanted to hurt them financially I would suggest not buying products from all the companies who advertise on their site. However, they make money from their advertisers. In order to keep the advertisers happy, readers have to buy from them. If they want to keep the readers coming back so that the adertisers can get the highest possible audience, they have to produce quality output. If the quality goes down, fewer people visit, and there are less potential customers for the advertisers. I don’t feel that the Onion owes me any sort of entertainment, but I still have the right to tell them when their output stinks. ---
**Author:** ![Flymaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@Flymaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flymaster)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/34 "2003-03-20T18:03:51Z")
Why do people say the 9/11 issue was perfect? The headline was great. The rest, simply put, sucked. It wasn’t biting. It wasn’t edgy. It wasn’t tasteless. It wasn’t anything that the Onion usually is. NOBODY could disagree with the sentiment expressed in that issue, other than the terrorist themselves. Oooh “terrorists are going to hell”! Funny! Not at all predictable! “People are shocked” crazy! never would have seen THAT coming. It just wasn’t funny, people. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/35 "2003-03-20T18:08:36Z")
that’s just like, your opinion…man. ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/36 "2003-03-20T18:32:17Z")
While new material would be preferred, this contains one of my favorite Opinion columns ever, “Hey, Everybody, Let’s Put On An Avant-Garde Show!” > [@](#): > > [size=1]And who else but sweet Rosemarie, the golden-haired darling of our gang, should play the part of the slovenly mother-whore who’s constantly giving birth to fist-sized maggots? Not to forget the sidebar about the heroic pitbull travelling 1,000 miles to attack the owner. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/37 "2003-03-20T18:39:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ElwoodCuse \* > \*\*The problem with Dave Barry is that all his articles have more cliches than a Fark photoshop thread. It’s like his columns are generated by Javascript any more. \*\* Wouldn’t “It’s a Trap” be a good… ouch! what was that? ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574/38 "2003-03-20T20:17:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flymaster \* > \*\*It just wasn’t funny, people. \*\* Most of it wasn’t funny, but [this](http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/god_clarifies_dont_kill.html) article was absolutely beautiful. It made me cry. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-onion/162574.md?page=1)