# The only answer possible for a GQ question **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 28, 2014, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269 "2014-07-28T19:09:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/1 "2014-07-28T19:09:05Z")
The answer to [this question from **Timetrvlr**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=729684) is: The intelligence of the plant being talked to is in direct proportion to the intelligence of the person talking to the plant. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/2 "2014-07-28T20:43:37Z")
Cite? ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/3 "2014-07-28T20:45:55Z")
Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/4 "2014-07-28T20:48:36Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Cite? Your houseplants. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/5 "2014-07-28T20:52:00Z")
Pit fail. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/6 "2014-07-28T20:59:12Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Pit fail. Well, considering the only responses so far are a one word off-topic(and stale) snark from you, and the same stale snark repeated by someone without the brains to think of his own word, you guys have only yourselves to blame. Please try harder next time. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/7 "2014-07-28T21:00:43Z")
Intuitively, I’d have thought the opposite. The intelligence of trees or houseplants is inversely proportional to the intelligence of the person talking to the plant. BTW, I’ve witnessed a great many games of chess between potted philodendrons and housecats. The philodendrons win most of these. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/8 "2014-07-28T21:02:32Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Well, considering the only responses so far are a one word off-topic(and stale) snark from you, and **the same stale snark repeated by someone without the brains to think of his own word** , you guys have only yourselves to blame. Please try harder next time. My philodendron suggests: Reference? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/9 "2014-07-28T21:03:03Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Intuitively, I’d have thought the opposite. The intelligence of trees or houseplants is inversely proportional to the intelligence of the person talking to the plant. > > BTW, I’ve witnessed a great many games of chess between potted philodendrons and housecats. The philodendrons win most of these. Put a time limit down for moves and the philodendrons panic every time. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/10 "2014-07-28T21:06:22Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Well, considering the only responses so far are a one word off-topic(and stale) snark from you, and the same stale snark repeated by someone without the brains to think of his own word, you guys have only yourselves to blame. Please try harder next time. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/11 "2014-07-28T21:09:43Z")
> [@GrandWino](#): > > Cite? Well I did find this. > **[The only answer possible for a GQ question](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=729685)** > > The answer to this question from Timetrvlr is: The intelligence of the plant being talked to is in direct proportion to the intelligence of the person talking to the plant. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/12 "2014-07-28T21:14:00Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Well, considering the only responses so far are a one word off-topic(and stale) snark from you, and the same stale snark repeated by someone without the brains to think of his own word, you guys have only yourselves to blame. Please try harder next time. I really don’t have a problem with you **Czarcasm** , but I’l play along. 🙂 The short responses, well, Father Time is being cruel to you and I didn’t want to add to your misery. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/13 "2014-07-28T21:19:47Z")
You’re a “submissive”, aren’t you Czar, as you’ve mentioned someone recently? I’d think you’d enjoy the abuse you get here. Actually, perhaps you do… it would explain so much. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/14 "2014-07-28T21:21:43Z")
I think loneliness explains it more than a failure of intelligence. What he needs is to put them [googly eyes](https://screen.yahoo.com/googly-eyes-gardener-000000217.html) on them ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/15 "2014-07-28T23:50:29Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Well, considering the only responses so far are a one word off-topic(and stale) snark from you, and the same stale snark repeated by someone without the brains to think of his own word, you guys have only yourselves to blame. Please try harder next time. It’s our fault your pitting failed? Maybe we’re just not asshole bullies like you are. The thread you pitted is going a lot better than this one. Maybe you should try harder… … to be polite. You can be right and still be a jerk. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/16 "2014-07-28T23:59:38Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > The answer to [this question from **Timetrvlr**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=729684) is: The intelligence of the plant being talked to is in direct proportion to the intelligence of the person talking to the plant. I think you’re really making an uninformed assumption and trying to heckle someone using that assumption. There is a continual increase in understanding of the complexity of behavior of plants/trees. While they don’t have neurons, they clearly have chemical processes that sense, react, remember and adapt to their environment. It’s ok to be an ass, but it’s better to be a smart-ass than a dumb-ass, and in this case I think you are leaning towards the dumb-ass category. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2014, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/17 "2014-07-29T00:32:51Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > The answer to [this question from **Timetrvlr**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=729684) is: The intelligence of the plant being talked to is in direct proportion to the intelligence of the person talking to the plant. Please cite any of these so-called “facts” that you wish to discuss. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2014, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/18 "2014-07-29T00:41:37Z")
Just don’t see the need for a pit. The remark about talking to plants was laughed at the moment it was made, by Timetrvlr him/herself. The question posed in GQ had to do with how one might measure plant intelligence, and this pitting doesn’t answer it or show why it isn’t worth asking, or demonstrate a decent reason to be angry with it, and it’s not even a clever insult tossed out for its own sake. Whether plants are smart or not, if the test is figuring out a rationale for the OP here, I confess I’m not. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2014, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/19 "2014-07-29T01:00:19Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > It’s our fault your pitting failed? Maybe we’re just not asshole bullies like you are. The thread you pitted is going a lot better than this one. Maybe you should try harder… > > … to be polite. You can be right and still be a jerk. “Our”? Where the fuck were you in those first few posts that I was referencing? The only ones I criticized were the me-too jackasses that couldn’t think up anything brighter than “cite?”. Of course, the latter of the two did do a follow up…but it was a creepy, stalkerish kind of follow up that I hope he doesn’t pursue. If you don’t think the pitting was appropriate, go for it and we can go back and forth on the topic of people that talk to plants. If on the other hand you just came here to associate yourself with Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber… ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2014, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269/20 "2014-07-29T01:05:12Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > I think you’re really making an uninformed assumption and trying to heckle someone using that assumption. > > There is a continual increase in understanding of the complexity of behavior of plants/trees. While they don’t have neurons, they clearly have chemical processes that sense, react, remember and adapt to their environment. > > It’s ok to be an ass, but it’s better to be a smart-ass than a dumb-ass, and in this case I think you are leaning towards the dumb-ass category. What they don’t have is intelligence in any way, shape or form, and and taking any and/or all of the complex involuntary chemical processes and calling it “intelligence” does not make it intelligence. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-only-answer-possible-for-a-gq-question/694269.md?page=2)