# The passing of another Doper - danceswithcats **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983 "2009-08-19T19:15:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/1 "2009-08-19T19:15:59Z")
It is with a sad heart that I must tell you all of the passing of **danceswithcats**. Paul, a member here since 2002, took his own life in early July. ☹ Paul and I met at a Dopefest in 2005 and enjoyed a pleasant conversation. We exchanged a few friendly emails through the year, and when we met again the next year, as my marriage was falling apart, he…as he liked to put it, ‘saw his chance and swooped in.’ 🙂 We started dating in January of 2007. He was loving, kind and attentive. He was a formidable opponent at Trivial Pursuit and Scrabble, and an awesome backgammon player. He had the world’s best movie collection, and an amazingly eclectic collection of CDs. He’d put five CDs in the player, and it wasn’t uncommon to hear Sinatra, The Beach Boys, Sarah McLaughin, The Dropkick Murphys and The Traveling Wilburys in one night. He was the doting father of a young teenage daughter, who I am sure misses him terribly. He was ‘Fud Guy’ to a small herd of cats, who have been adopted by his neighbor. He was a member of a volunteer firehouse for over 30 years. He served that firehouse in a variety of positions, most recently in two terms as President. He was passionate about fire safety, and recently attended a conference on mandating fire sprinkler use in residential construction. As kind and loving as he was, I could tell he was battling some terrible inner demons. We talked a lot, and I had suggested he get some professional help, but he always declined. He broke things off with me abruptly in June, and refused all contact. I was only informed of his passing this afternoon by a friend of his from his firehouse. His funeral was small and private. I’m not even sure what else to say. I think I’m still in shock. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/2 "2009-08-19T19:21:09Z")
Wow, that sucks. ☹ I enjoyed his posts. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/3 "2009-08-19T19:22:21Z")
Oh, how sad. He must have been in a very dark, dark place. My sympathies to you and his family. So sad. ---
**Author:** ![Canadiangirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Canadiangirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadiangirl)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/4 "2009-08-19T19:23:28Z")
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/5 "2009-08-19T19:23:36Z")
That’s awful. He seemed like a good guy. He was a good poster. I had no idea he had these problems. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/6 "2009-08-19T19:23:57Z")
What terribly sad news. His family and all who loved him are in my thoughts and prayers. [moderator]I’ll sticky this thread for a week for people to share some thoughts and memories.[/moderator] ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/7 "2009-08-19T19:24:18Z")
Bloody hell, that’s awful news. ---
**Author:** ![InappropriateHumor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eb8c5e/32.png) [@InappropriateHumor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InappropriateHumor)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/8 "2009-08-19T19:24:24Z")
I haven’t logged in here in months, but this compelled me. I always enjoyed **danceswithcats’** posts. My sympathies. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/9 "2009-08-19T19:24:31Z")
I always thought that was such a witty user name, and a nice poster too. This is awful news…and he had a daughter? Shit. Thanks for telling us,\*\* Bibliocat\*\*. I wish someone could have helped you, Paul. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/10 "2009-08-19T19:25:54Z")
I’m so sorry to hear that. I had nothing but good interactions with him. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/11 "2009-08-19T19:26:56Z")
Oh crap. That is terrible. I always liked \*\*danceswithcats \*\*and his posts. He was a pleasure in person too. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/12 "2009-08-19T19:27:17Z")
He was a good one. He and his will be in my prayers. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/13 "2009-08-19T19:29:35Z")
I am so sad to read this. I knew he was a deeply troubled person from my interactions with him, where he was not always rational in his behaviors. But I had no idea the problems ran so deeply. He must have been so miserable and in a way and a place that no one could touch. I’m sure you did your best, your very best for him, Bibliocat, and I am saddest of all for you and for his family, for all the people who loved him. You are in my thoughts and prayers today, you and his family. And so is Paul. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/14 "2009-08-19T19:29:36Z")
danceswithcats is dead?! Oh, no. Thanks for telling us. I wish he had gotten some help… ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/15 "2009-08-19T19:30:05Z")
I’m so sorry for you and for his family. That’s truly heartbreaking news. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/16 "2009-08-19T19:31:33Z")
☹ ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/17 "2009-08-19T19:31:39Z")
Oh Jesús, **BiblioCat** , I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/18 "2009-08-19T19:32:54Z")
Very sorry to hear this terrible news. He will be missed, here as elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/19 "2009-08-19T19:32:58Z")
Very very sorry to hear that. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/20 "2009-08-19T19:33:05Z")
What terrible news. My deepest sympathies to all who loved him. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983.md?page=2)