# The passing of another Doper - danceswithcats **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983 "2009-08-19T19:15:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/181 "2009-08-22T00:08:39Z")
I am so very sorry. I simply have no words. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/182 "2009-08-22T07:46:26Z")
It’s wonderful how many of you Dopers knew and loved him. He must have been a really great guy – just as his posts seemed to indicate. I’m so sorry for all of you – for the grief you feel at losing him. Please, please remember Paul the next time you see anyone belittle someone with mental illness or undermine the help that therapy and medication may offer. It was medication that changed me from being self-destructive and therapy that gave me a sense of self. As I heard it explained the other day: It’s hard for the brain to know what to do when it’s the brain that is sick. Paul, we will so miss you. _“May the Lord watch between me and thee, while we are absent one from the other.”_ ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/183 "2009-08-22T09:18:59Z")
Very sad news indeed. My condolences. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/184 "2009-08-22T11:38:24Z")
What a terrible pity. I’m so sorry for the loss to all who loved him. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/185 "2009-08-22T12:07:03Z")
Damn. This sucks. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/186 "2009-08-22T14:17:42Z")
I have no words. I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/187 "2009-08-22T18:45:59Z")
Crap. I only just saw this thread. I’m really sorry, **BiblioCat**. As others have said, you can’t blame yourself for this. When someone just cuts you out like that, there’s really not much you can do, especially if they are so depressed or unhappy that they are ready to take their own life. I had noticed that **dancewithcats** wasn’t around recently, but i guess i assumed that he had left the boards during the period of discontent earlier this year. Anyone who witnessed our exchanges on the boards will know that i thought **danceswithcats** was a huge, gaping asshole. And he felt pretty much the same way about me. But i still enjoyed our conflicts, and the board is a less interesting place without him around. RIP. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/188 "2009-08-22T20:30:34Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > I had noticed that **dancewithcats** wasn’t around recently, but i guess i assumed that he had left the boards during the period of discontent earlier this year. Discontent last year, I guess - not to assume too much. He last posted in September 2008, and he last logged in in December. I’ll be updating the memorial thread in a few minutes. Anyone with feedback please reply here or send me a PM. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/189 "2009-08-22T20:42:35Z")
I hadn’t visited MPSIMS for several days, so this is the first time I saw this thread. I never had a chance to meet **danceswithcats** , but I always found his posts interesting. My condolences. RIP, **danceswith cats**. ((((((( **BiblioCat** ))))))) ((((((( **danceswithcats** ’ daughter))))))) ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/190 "2009-08-23T07:44:02Z")
May the loved ones he left behind find peace, and some measure of consolation that they will not miss him alone. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/191 "2009-08-23T17:27:41Z")
I am so very, very sorry. ---
**Author:** ![supergoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@supergoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supergoose)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/192 "2009-08-23T18:43:21Z")
I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/193 "2009-08-24T16:26:52Z")
Well, fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/194 "2009-08-24T17:49:46Z")
How completely painful to discover that Paul has done this. I always enjoyed discussing the EMS work we both were so passionate about. The damage done by doing what First Responders do is sometimes insidious, sometimes more blatant and on the surface. It is very fair to say that it alters people’s life view and makes them struggle to be who they were before they had to deal with the utter horrors associated with doing First Responder work. It is a calling, not a job. Volunteer or for pay, it is a calling. ( For pay- ha ! The paid EMS company where I did per diem work paid their Paramedics 14.00 an hour, their EMT's 8.50 an hour… to hold a human’s life in their hands. ). Paul had been at it a very long time, and his continued dedication and interest was likely a source of deep personal satisfaction as well as the source of torture. I always respected his replies and thoughtful approach to situations discussed in threads on Fire and EMS. I pray that in the last split-second, he knew he was going to be in a quiet peaceful place. I cannot get to Philly for this. Damn. Nobody should feel that alone. ☹ Cartooniverse, NYS EMT Retired. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/195 "2009-08-24T17:56:34Z")
ETA: **BilblioCat** , take a painful page from his book- make sure you seek good counseling in dealing with this and tend your garden now. It sounds like you were a good friend and a good love and I grieve for your loss and pain, as I grieve for his daughter’s yawing unimaginable loss. ---
**Author:** ![Anita\_Vacation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Anita\_Vacation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anita_Vacation)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/196 "2009-08-24T19:11:00Z")
I’m bewildered and grief-stricken by Paul’s suicide. I was very fond of him and knew him as a kind and gentle man. He was much loved, and loved much in return. I really need to be together with others who loved Paul. His memorial gathering would help me in my process of accepting his death but I’m unable to come to Philly. Please know that I’m with everyone in spirit. RIP, Paul. I’m sorry that you were unable to reach out. Your pain must have been unbearable. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/197 "2009-08-24T19:19:14Z")
I’m so sorry! I met Paul at one of the Gettysdopes and he was a genuinely nice guy…my condolences to all loved ones of his. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Mrs.Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Geek)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/198 "2009-08-24T19:57:03Z")
My condolences, Bibliocat. My heart goes out to you and Paul’s family. Mark (engineer\_comp\_geek) told me about Paul’s passing. Paul was a great guy and we all looked forward to seeing him at Gettysdope. We will miss him! ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/199 "2009-08-24T20:03:47Z")
Bibliocat, Oh my god!! I return to the boards from a long hiatus and see this!! I am so sorry!!! Dances was one of the great characters in life, full of wit and whimsy. I don’t know what to say except… he will be missed. Take care … ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983/200 "2009-08-24T21:40:27Z")
I don’t know quite what to say. I can’t say I was as close to Paul as some others here, but he was always one of my favorites. I always looked forward to seeing him at MAD and Philly dope events and he made me laugh more times than I can remember. Only Paul could make a story about wrecking his motorcycle and being life-flighted to the hospital gut-bustingly funny. It was people like Paul that I joined the dope for in the first place. He’ll be missed. BiblioCat, we don’t really know each other, but my thoughts are with you. Goodbye, Paul. tdc [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passing-of-another-doper-danceswithcats/506983.md?page=11)