# The Passion of The Christ to be on TV later this year. What commercials do you play? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 14, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992 "2004-04-14T16:43:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/1 "2004-04-14T16:43:59Z")
Mel Gibson is pitching his movie “The Passion of The Christ” to TV networks, but the networks are concerned no advertisers will want to buy ad time for this intense movie. I think they’re being much too pessimistic. What commercials would work for “The Passion of Th Christ” if it airs on TV later this year? I’d like to use the AFLAC duck, but I can’t think how to work him in. [Report: Gibson Wants to Bring Unedited ‘Passion’ to TV](http://sg.news.yahoo.com/040414/3/3jhfz.html) > [@](#): > > Were it not for the movie’s intense subject matter – chronicling the painful last hours in the life of Jesus Christ – broadcasters would likely be competing with big-money offers for the blockbuster, which has taken in more than $353 million domestically after less than two months in theaters. > > But sources say Icon has made it clear to prospective buyers that the film must run in its entirety and that even some of the more graphic scenes of beatings cannot be edited down. That makes it a tough sell for the broadcast networks, which would undoubtedly have a hard time lining up advertisers for the controversial film even if edits were made. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/2 "2004-04-14T17:01:02Z")
Quizno’s could put halos on their spongmonkeys. "I love the Chriiiiiiiiiiist "He is the Sav-ah-yah "The Son ah Gaaaaaaahd “Come try the peppah bar!” ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/3 "2004-04-14T17:02:55Z")
“I’m stuck on Band-Aid 'Cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me!” ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/4 "2004-04-14T17:16:25Z")
Life insurance…because even if you inherit the kingdom of heaven your family is stuck here on earth. anti depressants. alka seltzer. Just no pizza commercials after the whipping scenes. ---
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/5 "2004-04-14T17:21:48Z")
Bactine and Tylenol for those bad aches and pains. ---
**Author:** ![mbacko1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@mbacko1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbacko1)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/6 "2004-04-14T17:24:14Z")
Here are some ads that would work… The Passion of Christ sponsored by: America’s USDA Angus Beef Producers - Mmmm, Mmmmm, Beef. WWE Smackdown - Where the only ones who can bring the smackdown, harder, stronger, and faster than the Romans brought down on the Lord! Air Israel - See the prettier side of the Holy Land. ---
**Author:** ![Jadis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@Jadis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jadis)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/7 "2004-04-14T17:24:50Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Quizno’s could put halos on their spongmonkeys. > > "I love the Chriiiiiiiiiiist > "He is the Sav-ah-yah > "The Son ah Gaaaaaaahd > “Come try the peppah bar!” Oh my. I heart you so much. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/8 "2004-04-14T17:51:12Z")
Is **Home Depot** too obvious? 2x4s, 4x4s, hammers, nails, rope… ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/9 "2004-04-14T17:56:08Z")
> [@Darkhold](#): > > Life insurance…because even if you inherit the kingdom of heaven your family is stuck here on earth. This is reminiscent of Marlin Perkins on **Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom** : “Baby cheetas need security. Your family can have security with Mutual of…” ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/10 "2004-04-14T18:09:05Z")
Hot Dog on a Stick? Really, I never make these kind of posts, I’m soooo gonna get it… ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/11 "2004-04-14T18:13:21Z")
Timex - it takes a licking, but keeps on ticking! Kodak - for the times of your life…make it a Kodak moment. I am so going to hell for this! ---
**Author:** ![rexnervous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@rexnervous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rexnervous)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/12 "2004-04-14T18:14:47Z")
**Cervaise** , that was hilarious! I know this thread is somewhat in jest, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it ended up being shown without commercials. Wasn’t _Schindler’s List_ shown that way? Or was it just unedited? Someone would sponsor it, getting a 2 minute commercial at the beginning and the end, and lots of publicity for the fact that they are sponsoring it and the movie’s being shown on TV, unedited and without commercial interruption. Now back to your regularly scheduled jesting… ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/13 "2004-04-14T18:18:00Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > Is **Home Depot** too obvious? 2x4s, 4x4s, hammers, nails, rope… That, or Stormy Leather, Forbidden Fruit or anything of the type. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/14 "2004-04-14T19:30:28Z")
Brawny paper towels – you could have the two gay paper towel guys commenting on the walk up to Calgary – “Ooooh look at all that leather!” ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/15 "2004-04-14T19:41:03Z")
Bounty–the quicker picker upper Not going anywhere for a while? Have a Snickers. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/16 "2004-04-14T19:51:05Z")
Two words: Trojan Man! ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/17 "2004-04-14T19:57:31Z")
[ul]“I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” [li]That pinata commercial for Nintendo.[/li][li]A commercial for _The Life of Brian_[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![dil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f04885/32.png) [@dil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dil)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/18 "2004-04-14T20:18:45Z")
Southwest Airlines “Wanna get away?” ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/19 "2004-04-14T20:28:24Z")
I haven’t seen the film, but If there’s a scene of JC in the garden, it should be followed by an ad for Olive Garden. Footwashing scene- odor eaters The scourging scenes- Red Cross urging us all to donate blood. The last commercial break before the flm ends- “You’ve read of his life” darkness, a spotlight shows a single hand raised in a gesture of blessing, “of his suffering and death” darkness, the hand is palm up, curled fingers obscure the palm. The camera pans so that we can see the palm. A large nail has been driven through it. “And of his miraculous ressurection.” Darkness, the hand is palm up in a gesture of giving. There is circular scar in the palm. “But have you considered the wondrous possibility that more is written? Did Jesus not tell his followers that flocks in a distant land would hear his words? More is written! Jesus’ travels and teachings in North America are recorded in the Book Of Mormon. This message has been brought to you by The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints.” ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/20 "2004-04-14T20:36:53Z")
Anything to do with “adult entertainment” – strip clubs, phone sex, lingerie, gay bondage porn – just to freak out the fundies. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992.md?page=2)