# The Passion of The Christ to be on TV later this year. What commercials do you play? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 14, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992 "2004-04-14T16:43:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/21 "2004-04-14T20:43:30Z")
Penis drugs would be funny. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/22 "2004-04-14T21:02:14Z")
Girls Gone Wild **rjung**? Ouch. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/23 "2004-04-14T21:18:37Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > Not going anywhere for a while? Have a Snickers. I can already see this one in my head. Simpsons with a shot of Nelson going “HawHaw” and pointing at the begining. Could be inserted anywhere just after they cut to commericals. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/24 "2004-04-14T21:28:00Z")
Caption: Now from some bloodshead that benefits you in this world. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/25 "2004-04-14T23:52:54Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Quizno’s could put halos on their spongmonkeys. > > "I love the Chriiiiiiiiiiist > "He is the Sav-ah-yah > "The Son ah Gaaaaaaahd > “Come try the peppah bar!” “Big God is in our hearts!” ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/26 "2004-04-15T00:11:54Z")
Ditto an ad for the Olive Garden…or any other Italian restaurant. “After the movie, don’t forget the Italians…stop by Olive Garden! With our spacious dining areas, we won’t leave you hanging…around, waiting to be seated!” 😃 Ranchoth (“And on Friday nights—free bread sticks with any medium ‘stake’!”) ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/27 "2004-04-15T01:17:54Z")
How about a tampon or maxi pad commerical? “For those heavy flow days…” ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/28 "2004-04-15T01:47:39Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > Penis drugs would be funny. “If you’re wood isn’t tall enough to crucify someone on, try Viagra!” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/29 "2004-04-15T02:09:16Z")
Nike - Just Do It ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/30 "2004-04-15T02:13:02Z")
Scene: Women removing Jesus’s body from the cross. “We must be sure to put the body to rest before the Sabbath.” Scene: Easter morning, Mary coming upon the empty tomb. “Where is my Lord!” Scene: Soldiers scurrying about, worried faces, riots, pandemonium, religious wars, witch-burnings, etc. End Frame: “If you’re shipping internationally, you gotta use FedEx.” ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/31 "2004-04-15T02:44:33Z")
Life insurance ads, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Necro\_Romancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/50afbb/32.png) [@Necro\_Romancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necro_Romancer)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/32 "2004-04-15T03:01:52Z")
[Nothing is too good for our Lord.](http://www.neosporin.com/firstaid/neosporin.asp?sec=0&page=15#NeosporinPlus) ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/33 "2004-04-15T04:42:52Z")
**A-1 Steak Sauce** ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/34 "2004-04-15T08:23:43Z")
[Something Awful](http://somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2015) beat you guys to the punch. ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/35 "2004-04-15T10:23:45Z")
[QUOTE=tracer] “If you’re wood isn’t tall enough to crucify someone on, try Viagra!”[/QUOTE \real genius\Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis? /real genius/ ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/36 "2004-04-15T10:34:22Z")
Jesus: “I’ve tried everything for my back. Wooden crosses, hollow stone tombs, I even tried that cat-o-nine tails with the little hooks on the ends. But now I’ve got the Sleep Number Bed. Mary Magdalene sets her side to 65, I set my side to 30: perfect for my back. My first nights sleep was so restful, I slept for three days!” ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/37 "2004-04-15T12:08:52Z")
As painful as it is to watch most ads, I don’t see what the problem is. I think most any of them would fit in quite well. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/38 "2004-04-15T12:11:42Z")
Oh,yeah, I hope you guys are having fun in this world, because in the next one, you’re _all_ gonna burn in hell! 😛 You know, usually at least once a day while I’m reading the Dope, my 4-year-old will ask me “what’s so funny?” I think this is the _earliest_ it’s happened yet! ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/39 "2004-04-15T12:47:56Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > Brawny paper towels – you could have the two gay paper towel guys commenting on the walk up to Calgary – “Ooooh look at all that leather!” By chance, do you mean Calvary? Unless somehow the Flames acquired sticks hewn from the cross Jesus was crucified on. ---
**Author:** ![Farmwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8dc957/32.png) [@Farmwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmwoman)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992/40 "2004-04-15T13:07:39Z")
“This week’s winner of Tylenol’s _push through the pain_ is Jesus!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-passion-of-the-christ-to-be-on-tv-later-this-year-what-commercials-do-you-play/239992.md?page=3)