The second hand is interesting as it looks as though East-West have enough tricks for Six, but I can’t see how to manage the entries to take them. I may be over-thinking it.
As long as N/S lead a black suit either initially or when in with the AD, 6S cannot be made. Leading spades destroys the entries, leading clubs forces the West hand.
Mornington Crescent!
Yes - I couldn’t see any way for West to draw trumps, untangle the Hearts, clear a Diamond trick and get a couple of ruffs. There are twelve tricks there, but no way to get at them.
Not completely true. A spade lead is the only thing to hold it to 5. Even a club lead won’t force enough. On a club lead, you ruff in hand, and play a diamond. What does N do? Play the Ad on air? Even if you play a spade at that point it’s too late. I’ll get 1 trump, 2 diamonds, 3 hearts and 6 crossruffs for 12 tricks.
And if you don’t take your Ad? I’ll take my Qd, dump the last diamond on the Ah, and take 1 diamond, 3 hearts, and 8 crossruffs for 12 tricks giving you the last trick.
No, the only way is a trump lead followed by a trump continuation when you get in.
You are correct - I missed the possibility of discarding the diamond on the AH.
The strip predates SAYC. Goren bidding back then allowed opening 4 card majors. So even with 17HCP, it’s possible the first hand could be opened 1H. Probably the same result, though.
I’m guessing that these hands (especially the one with the fighting birds) were actual hands that some partner of Schultz’ punted badly 
Nothing says “Holy crap, you’ll never believe what my partner did last night!” like printing it in a nationally syndicated comic."
I am going to give a couple of different perspectives on the first hand - both after North has opened 1NT.
First, most of the people I play with and against use a two-suited defence to !NT. I play DONT (pdf) and would bid 2D showing diamonds plus a major.
If I were not playing a 2-suited defence, I would bid 2S, not 2D, as suggested by others. This is because:
[ul]
[li]I have more spades[/li][li]if partner is equal in S/D length, spades will usually play better than diamonds[/li][li]spades scores more - we only need to bid 4S for game, not that game is very likely after a strong no trump opening[/li][li]a spade sacrifice over their likely 4H contract keeps us a level lower than having to bid 5D[/li][li]if I bid diamonds first, then spades later, partner will expect more diamonds than spades and will put me back to diamonds (at a higher level) when we should be in spades[/li][li]2S is more preemptive, making it harder for them to bid hearts[/li][/ul]
The one possible concern is that if we defend, we probably do not want partner to lead a diamond. However, I am likely to be on lead. I certainly will if they play in NT, and also if they get to hearts via a transfer or (Lebensohl) Stayman.
To see the benefit of playing in spades, even missing all the top honors, compare how many tricks can be made. As shown, you make 6 in spades and 7 in diamonds. Swap one of west’s low diamonds for south’s low spade so west is 2-2 and now you make 8 tricks in spades and 6 in diamonds. Swap a second low diamond for north’s low spade and now you make 9 tricks in spades. So opposite 2 or 3 low spades, you are in good position for a profitable sacrifice over 4H, whereas opposite 2 or 3 low diamonds, you will make 6 or 7 tricks, i.e. 5 or 4 down in 5D. The issue with playing in diamonds is that you cannot set the spades up as you will get forced and run out of trumps.
True on both counts. I stand corrected.
Playing it out, I think spades is going to be a terrible contract regardless of the vulnerability.
First round is a heart. Then a second heart (ruffed). Then a spade. Third heart (ruffed). Another spade out. Fourth heart comes out and look where you’re at now.
You’ve lost 1 heart and two trumps. You own two trumps left and there’s two trumps left outstanding. Decision time. Even if trumps are 1-1 (which you can’t guarantee and is slightly against the odds), it still wouldn’t be correct to ruff here and pull the last trump. Then there’s no trumps left out anywhere and they’ll run at least 3 clubs on you. Possibly four if they can untangle. In total that’s 3 trump, 1 heart, and 3 (or four) clubs leaving you down at least 4 in a game contract. Even non-vul against vul you’re down 800 in what surely is a doubled contract. Bad sacrifice.
Refuse to ruff the last heart and they switch to clubs putting you in the same position as above.
Alternatively, you can ruff the last heart and refuse to pull the last two trump outstanding. Still bad for you. You run two rounds of diamonds and then south ruffs in on the third. He plays a club over to N who pulls your last trump and they get in total 1 heart, 2 ruffs, 2 trumps and 3 clubs or down 5 which is even worse than above.
And then you can look at your partner and say “6-5 come alive?” and hope he doesn’t punch you.
Another hand:
S: A J 8 7
H: ---
D: A K Q J
C: A J 10 4 3
S: Q 9 5 N S: K 6 4 3 2
H: 3 2 W E H: 9 8 6 5 4
D: 7 6 5 4 3 S D: ---
C: K Q 9 C: 7 6 5
S: 10
H: A K Q J 10 7
D: 10 9 8 2
C: 8 2
West leads S:Q. South to make Seven Hearts against any defence. 
Win, play JS and ruff when East plays the K. Play 5 rounds of trumps discarding all dummy’s diamonds (even though that drops you to 11 top tricks) and West is caught in a triple squeeze.
West can discard one diamond and one club easily, but is in trouble on the 5th heart. Discarding either the spade 9 or two clubs will give up two tricks in that suit. Discarding a diamond allows South to cash the 2D squeezing West in the black suits.
Excellent. 
Isn’t SQ a completely irrational lead even without the KQx Clubs?
I was thinking exactly the same thing. I never can tell if bridge players are on the up and up or have figured out a fantastically subtle way of screwing with me. 
Yes. It is a tricked-up hand that would never occur in real life and the QS lead adds an extra level of complexity to the solution. You could give West the KQ9 of spades instead and have him/her lead KS and the same end position will occur, but does not require the step of leading the JS at trick 2.
On the actual hand shown, the QS is the only lead to allow declarer to make the contract.
Correction - it also makes on a small club lead.
In the book I found it in, East bid Spades at some point in the auction, which West took as lead-directing. I believe the deal was supposed to date from the unscientific 1930s.
I really don’t believe that this was a real hand. However, if it were, then East would double for a diamond lead and defeat the contract at trick one. Mind you, if the hand was from the early 30s, that could be before the Lightner double was invented.
Wait - there was an auction?! How did N/S end up in 7H?!
Question for the experienced players - how likely is it that that play could be found “over the board”, i.e. without (much) knowledge of the defenders’ hands? I’m thinking: pretty much impossible.