# The penis appreciation thread (risque, TMI) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 15, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432 "2003-08-15T17:53:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AntaresJB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AntaresJB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AntaresJB)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/21 "2003-08-15T19:55:27Z")
I too, do not possess one, yet still love them. Unfortunately, unlike **mipiace** , I don’t even have steady access to one. But ::sigh:: how I love penises. That’s why I could never be bisexual or a lesbian. I love penis too much. Must… have… penis. They’re just… amazing. I could never imagine actually having one attached to me, seems incredibly awkward… but I do so love them on men. ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/22 "2003-08-15T20:00:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AntaresJB \* > \*\*I too, do not possess one, yet still love them. Unfortunately, unlike **mipiace** , I don’t even have steady access to one. But ::sigh:: how I love penises. That’s why I could never be bisexual or a lesbian. I love penis too much. Must… have… penis. They’re just… amazing. I could never imagine actually having one attached to me, seems incredibly awkward… but I do so love them on men. \*\* Ooooo, me either, wouldn’t want one attached to me. Way to awkward. Couldn’t imagine walking, sitting, peeing, plauying baseball, and all that adjusting & scratching… Just frequent usage of someone else’s is fine with me.😃 ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/23 "2003-08-15T20:02:19Z")
**AntaresJB** , what are the odds you now get lots of offers in that regard? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/24 "2003-08-15T20:18:06Z")
Hey, **AntaresJB**! How _YOU_ doin’? ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/25 "2003-08-15T20:24:21Z")
DAMN!!! **Lord Ashtar** beat me to the punchline! ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/26 "2003-08-15T20:42:20Z")
Why don’t you guys let your penis’s do the talking? ---
**Author:** ![freetobeme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@freetobeme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freetobeme)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/27 "2003-08-15T20:44:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by merge \* > \*\*Well… they need to be cooler than the body to produce sperm… so they need to hang… > although a protective shell or something may have been nice… > > or maybe controllable retrations… like we let em hang when we know we are safe… but when we fear trouble(in that area) they climb back up… lol… > > but the penis is still the greatest thing in the world… IMHO of course… \*\* Well there is some degree of ball retraction and, um, shrikage upon encountering those things that it feels may be generally harmful. Swimming in cold water say. Or watching some other guy take a shot in the ol scrotum. They seem to be able to detect danger and take evasive action. I like mine. ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/28 "2003-08-15T20:50:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*Why don’t you guys let your penis’s do the talking? \*\* You will have to listen closely though OK? No Closer than that Closer… Closer… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/29 "2003-08-15T20:54:51Z")
LOL Ohhh, so he’s the strong quiet type? I’ll bet he’s lots of fun once a girl gets closer to him though. [giggle] ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/30 "2003-08-15T21:00:25Z")
ROTFLMAO\* I, too, am one of the many lovers of penises. Short ones, fat ones, skinny ones, long ones, foreskin or no foreskin…I love them all. [hijack] > [@](#): > > Anybody try running naked ? > Not very elegant. Not for a chick is it elegant either, **ChaosGod** …esp if you’ve got big boobs. That HURTS!☹ [/hijack] IDBB ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/31 "2003-08-15T21:03:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by I\_Dig\_Bad\_Boys \* > \*\* > Not for a chick is it elegant either, **ChaosGod** …esp if you’ve got big boobs. That HURTS!☹ > [/hijack] > > IDBB \*\* You raise an excellent point. Hell running it isn’t even comfortable wearing sports bras - men have nothing to bitch about. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/32 "2003-08-15T21:06:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by I\_Dig\_Bad\_Boys \*[hijack] > > Not for a chick is it elegant either, **ChaosGod** …esp if you’ve got big boobs. That HURTS!☹ > [/hijack] Amen sister! There is something facinating about the penis… I especially like it when it jumps with a feather soft touch or at the softest wisper of breath on it… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/33 "2003-08-15T21:31:19Z")
Whoever said, “Dog is a man’s best freind” was either: A lesbian, Impotent, Recovering from a penectomy, Horribly mutilated in a circumcision procedure, or Celibate. ---
**Author:** ![PiscesPrincess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f1d935/32.png) [@PiscesPrincess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PiscesPrincess)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/34 "2003-08-15T23:07:10Z")
Wow … not a lot I can add to mipiace’s posts … except to say “I SECOND ALL OF IT” I just find them fascinating … beautiful … amazing … irresistible … and most of all, lovable! ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/35 "2003-08-15T23:22:03Z")
Won’t someone think of the testicles? I mean… come on. Aren’t there any other girls who love ‘the stepkids’? Testicles _fascinate_ me. ---
**Author:** ![SkyBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@SkyBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyBum)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/36 "2003-08-15T23:33:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChaosGod \* > **Anybody try running naked ?** Heh. You should try _skydiving_ naked. Quite an experience for sure. ---
**Author:** ![ShoNuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@ShoNuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShoNuff)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/37 "2003-08-15T23:52:39Z")
Eric Idle said it best: Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong? It’s swell to have a stiffy. It’s divine to own a dick, From the tiniest little tadger To the world’s biggest prick. So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas. Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake, Your piece of pork, your wife’s best friend, Your Percy, or your cock. You can wrap it up in ribbons. You can slip it in your sock, But don’t take it out in public, Or they will stick you in the dock, And you won’t come back. * * * My sentiments exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/38 "2003-08-16T00:07:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by js\_africanus \* > **No flaps nor folds** Sounds like somebody needs a Tug-Ahoy! ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/39 "2003-08-16T00:20:07Z")
I had always thought that the male body was built with function in mind, and the female body built with aethestics in mind. A lot of things a man posesses on his body has a lot of function to it, with the penis being a great example. What a wonder of hydraulics the thing is, the only shame being I wish it could be controlled a little better (Getting an erection in some mundane situation, but unable to get it up due to performance anxiety during intimate moments) And for self-pleasure, its great. I mean, you can’t miss it- its right there. Pretty darn easy to figure out what feels good. I don’t know if the female genetalia is as simple for self-discovery. ---
**Author:** ![Plankspanker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Plankspanker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plankspanker)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/40 "2003-08-16T00:21:10Z")
having a penis is great, especially for the not having to steel yourself against the cold toilet seat on your ass when you’re really tired and dont want waking up while you’re peeing. morning wood is a problem sometimes tho. i for one have woken up many times , rolled over, and screamed in pain… _shudders_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432.md?page=3)