# The penis appreciation thread (risque, TMI) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 15, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432 "2003-08-15T17:53:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/41 "2003-08-16T01:18:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*You raise an excellent point. Hell running it isn’t even comfortable wearing sports bras - men have nothing to bitch about. \*\* Saddly, you have never seen my brother. He has boobs and balls. not a good combination. But then again, I never saw his fat ass run ethier… > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Plankspanker_ > **morning wood is a problem sometimes tho. i for one have woken up many times , rolled over, and screamed in pain… _shudders_** Yeah um, after the first time most people learn to check the equipment THEN roll. And stop complaing, if you didn’t get morning wood it mean one of two things, ethier your dead or didn’t sleep very long. Mornin wood is casued by blader pressure on some of blood pumps to the penis. It’s true. I read it in Maxim :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/42 "2003-08-16T02:31:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Incubus \* > **I had always thought that the male body was built with function in mind, and the female body built with aethestics in mind.** Reminds me of Elaine and Jerry discussing nudity. Elaine says something like, “Men aren’t attractive naked. There’s all that functional equipment just out there in plain view… It’s like a _Jeep_.” ---
**Author:** ![mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmm.forbidden_doughnut)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/43 "2003-08-16T02:43:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*Why don’t you guys let your penis’s do the talking? \*\* They can talk, too? DAMN! What _can’t_ they do?!? ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/44 "2003-08-16T03:46:59Z")
I think penises are swell. No pun intended. I am fascinated by them. I sit and stare at Gunslinger’s, and touch it and move it around, and then stare some more. They change their state of matter! Now it is soft and malleable, now it is a bar of steel! How cool is that? I can’t imagine having one permanently attached to me. Walking, running, manipulating it in the pants to be comfortable, worrying about the malleability quotient when in the presence of attractive people in public… how difficult it would be if you weren’t used to it from birth! But I think any inconvenience is outweighed by the spiffiness of the penis. p3n1z r teh r0xx0r! ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/45 "2003-08-16T04:51:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MonkeyMule \* > \*\*Saddly, you have never seen my brother. He has boobs and balls. not a good combination. But then again, I never saw his fat ass run ethier… > \*\* Ever notice how sometimes misspellings can actually make a funny post funnier? ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/46 "2003-08-16T05:11:39Z")
My only problem with penises is that they are attached to men. Granted maybe I just have met the wrong men but I think detachable penises would rock! Then Mr. whiny/ want to bitch about the mother, gf, SO or wife/ arrogant schmuck could stay in his car and the penis and I could have fun on our own. Well that post should about kill my social life on SDMB.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/47 "2003-08-16T06:11:27Z")
Originally posted by **JavaMaven1** : > [@](#): > > Won’t someone think of the testicles? Won’t someone think of the testicles? > > I mean… come on. Aren’t there any other girls who love ‘the stepkids’? Testicles fascinate me. I _love_ testicles! Not as much as I love penis, but balls run a close second. I with obsessed with the testicles of one of my now ex-boyfriends, the first guy with whom I had sex. Loved playing with them; I thought they were so…_interesting_. And fun, of course. He thought I was a bit odd, I think. Back to the topic. I love watching a guy cum… It’s…a power trip, if you’re the one who brought him to that point. And I enjoy the hardness; the pulsing & throbbing… And the way one fits perfectly between my breasts… And the shape! Oh, the shape is wonderful; a hard shaft culminating in a rounded head, with that sensitive ridge underneath. Mmm. Yummy. I’m gonna go to bed now. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mirth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Mirth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirth)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/48 "2003-08-16T07:19:11Z")
IMO the penis is sadly under-rated. Maybe its because I don’t have one, but I find them fascinating. This is probably TMI, but I once got a guy friend to let me hold his penis while he was peeing, so I could see how it felt. I never cease to be amuzed at the way my SO’s penis jumps when you tap it. I also like to play stupid games with it, like pretending its a stick-shift on a car. I’ve noticed that, in certain circumstances, they can take a lot of um… jostling, but in other circumstances an accidental jostle causes quite a bit of discomfort. Very curious. And then there’s the fun sex stuff, but since this isn’t the Penthouse Forum Message Board, I’ll stop here. Ahh… the penis, very entertaining. ---
**Author:** ![syncrolecyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@syncrolecyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/syncrolecyne)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/49 "2003-08-16T08:24:53Z")
I believe Lionel Barrymore once said “I cannot take pride in something in which any chimpanzee is my equal and any jackass is my superior”. (I’m in park at the moment) ---
**Author:** ![Teegus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Teegus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teegus)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/50 "2003-08-16T11:54:41Z")
[hijack] > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*Why don’t you guys let your penis’s do the talking? \*\* Here’s a couplew good reasons we don’t let them… [http://sexylosers.keenspace.com/187.html](http://sexylosers.keenspace.com/187.html) [http://sexylosers.keenspace.com/197.html](http://sexylosers.keenspace.com/197.html) (Incredibly not work friendly, but funny. Then again, so is this thread.) [/hijack] I have nothing of any real value to add. I have one, I enjoy it, but not so much as to wax lyrical about it. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/51 "2003-08-16T12:00:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cosmopolitan \* > \*\*Originally posted by **JavaMaven1** : > Back to the topic. > > I love watching a guy cum… It’s…a power trip, if you’re the one who brought him to that point. And I enjoy the hardness; the pulsing & throbbing… And the way one fits perfectly between my breasts… And the shape! Oh, the shape is wonderful; a hard shaft culminating in a rounded head, with that sensitive ridge underneath. Mmm. Yummy. > > I’m gonna go to bed now. 🙂 \*\* Ok am I the only one needing a one on one “conversation” with his penis after reading this? Man I got to start dating chicks from long island 😉 ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/52 "2003-08-16T13:16:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MonkeyMule \* > **Ok am I the only one needing a one on one “conversation” with his penis after reading this?** Nope, most of the women’s posts in this thread have hit me right where it counts. I wish someone would use _me_ as a stick shift… ---
**Author:** ![Plankspanker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Plankspanker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plankspanker)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/53 "2003-08-16T15:54:35Z")
seconded ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/54 "2003-08-16T16:04:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by js\_africanus \* > \*\*Nope, most of the women’s posts in this thread have hit me right where it counts. I wish someone would use _me_ as a stick shift… \*\* Oh like THAT was a surprise when you started this thread. All women don’t startle when you make it jump silly! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/55 "2003-08-16T16:19:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Krisfer the Cat \* > \*\*My only problem with penises is that they are attached to men. Granted maybe I just have met the wrong men but I think detachable penises would rock! \*\* Isn’t that called a dildo? ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/56 "2003-08-16T16:22:01Z")
I like them cut, with a nice bush overtop. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/57 "2003-08-16T16:27:44Z")
Originally posted by **MonkeyMule** : > [@](#): > > Ok am I the only one needing a one on one “conversation” with his penis after reading this? Ok am I the only one needing a one on one “conversation” with his penis after reading this? > > Man I got to start dating chicks from long island 🙂 I’m gratified that you liked it. 😉 And maybe you _do_ need to start dating chicks from Long Island - who knows? ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/58 "2003-08-16T16:29:34Z")
Ok, am _I_ the only one who needs to hit “preview” more often? Oops. ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/59 "2003-08-16T20:29:57Z")
Well, I’m surprised that no one’s made the obvious point yet: the great thing about a gay relationship is that there are two! count 'em, two! penises in the relationship.\* The major question is if they’ll play well together, and usually they do. \*Of course, there can be even more, as documented in Howard Roffman’s photoessay [Three](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/3861870665/103-2276828-3371867?v=glance&s=books) (work-friendly link). ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432/60 "2003-08-16T23:08:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cosmopolitan \* > \*\*And maybe you _do_ need to start dating chicks from Long Island - who knows? \*\* ::gasp:: Are you hitting on me? If so I can be reashed at 555-STUD at your connivance 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-penis-appreciation-thread-risque-tmi/195432.md?page=4)