# The perfect Christmas present for. . . . well, an idiot I guess **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 25, 2012, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049 "2012-11-25T07:14:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/1 "2012-11-25T07:14:26Z")
Okay, I know I’m not on the cutting edge of technology. I don’t shop and thus am rarely in stores. But [this](http://www.amazon.com/GLD-MM01H-B-1-Black-Handset/dp/B003DKL4JA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353827341&sr=8-1&keywords=retro+phone+iphone) just bowled me over. What else is out there that I need to put in the know about? ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/2 "2012-11-25T14:41:24Z")
Ha! We actually bought one of those. For sweetie’s 84 year old dad, who we were trying to get used to using a cell phone. Unfortunately, it didn’t play nice with his phone and caused weird echoes for the person on the other end. After two months, we’ve given up; we’re going back to the landline next week. Man’s a retired civil engineer but somehow couldn’t master the seriously bare-bones phone, and had to keep asking how to answer and hang up. And listening to his voicemail? Fuggetaboutit. As for inventions that make me go “whut” there’s [this one.](http://www.asseenontv.com/instahang/detail.php?p=365365&nav:Alpha+Sort) C’mon. Hammer. Nail. Not that difficult. If you do it halfway competently it holds way more than this thing does. ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/3 "2012-11-25T15:29:33Z")
Your father-in-law. Uh. . . well. . . mmmm. . . just ignore the idiot part of the post (looks down, shuffles feet in an embarrassed manner while searching frantically for a way to change the subject). At least the insta-hang, according to the blurb, will save you time and money. That $.42 and 35 seconds per year will really start to add up in a couple of centuries. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/4 "2012-11-25T16:02:38Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Ha! We actually bought one of those. For sweetie’s 84 year old dad, who we were trying to get used to using a cell phone. Unfortunately, it didn’t play nice with his phone and caused weird echoes for the person on the other end. > > After two months, we’ve given up; we’re going back to the landline next week. Man’s a retired civil engineer but somehow couldn’t master the seriously bare-bones phone, and had to keep asking how to answer and hang up. And listening to his voicemail? Fuggetaboutit. > > As for inventions that make me go “whut” there’s [this one.](http://www.asseenontv.com/instahang/detail.php?p=365365&nav:Alpha+Sort) C’mon. Hammer. Nail. Not that difficult. If you do it halfway competently it holds way more than this thing does. Yabbut you’re talking about commercials which depict people who can’t fold a t-shirt without sustaining life threatening injuries. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/5 "2012-11-25T16:10:40Z")
I want one. Just 'cause. And 'cause I hate the Bluetooth thingy and speakerphone is the Devil’s own tool, but I often need both hands free to flip through a file while on the phone. Here’s my nomination (surprise, it’s also from As Seen on TV): [http://www.asseenontv.com/smore-to-love-smore-maker/detail.php?p=360246&v=kitchen\_knives-and-gadgets](http://www.asseenontv.com/smore-to-love-smore-maker/detail.php?p=360246&v=kitchen_knives-and-gadgets) Seriously? We’re rebranding fish baskets as “S’Mores Makers” now? And entirely ruining the S’Mores in the process. Any girl scout knows the key to a S’Mores is a perfectly (to be defined by the end user) browned and carmelized marshmallow, which this contraption makes impossible, and just the right ratio of solid to melted chocolate and the temperature variance between the cool graham cracker and oozy melty innards. This thing makes the worst S’Mores ever, but at least it makes lots of them at once and in an _oven_, so the kids needn’t bother with the boring sitting around a campfire roasting marshmallows part of S’Mores making…oh, wait, that’s the FUN part, isn’t it? This gadget actively offends me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/6 "2012-11-25T16:52:01Z")
I’m with you, **whynot**! That thing is a blight upon humanity! No roasty marshmallow, no sticks to poke your fellow s’mores makers with, NO FUN! ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/7 "2012-11-25T17:25:25Z")
I think the OP’s product isn’t such a bad idea. I don’t own one, but it would be a hell of a lot more comfortable to use for a long period of time than a regular smartphone. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/8 "2012-11-25T18:24:12Z")
“Hey! You’re the guy who can’t open milk!” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/9 "2012-11-25T19:32:10Z")
My friend’s idiot husband wants this board game for idiots: [Cashflow 101](http://www.amazon.com/Rich-Dad-Cashflow-board-game/dp/B002LGDASK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353871594&sr=8-1&keywords=cash+flow+game). It’s a copycat of Monopoly, but playing it is supposed to educate you in the mysterious ways of finance so you too can become a bazillionaire. (I suspect the inventor’s actual method of becoming rich, to wit: churn out immensely overpriced finance products for people with more money than sense, will probably not work for people further down the pyramid.) ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/10 "2012-11-25T20:12:27Z")
> [@SandyHook](#): > > Okay, I know I’m not on the cutting edge of technology. I don’t shop and thus am rarely in stores. > > But [this](http://www.amazon.com/GLD-MM01H-B-1-Black-Handset/dp/B003DKL4JA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353827341&sr=8-1&keywords=retro+phone+iphone) just bowled me over. > What else is out there that I need to put in the know about? According to the Technical Details: _-Eliminates up to 99 percentage of the radiation absorbed compared to a direct use of mobile phones_ That might be a major selling point to many buyers??? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/11 "2012-11-25T20:16:34Z")
> [@doorhinge](#): > > According to the Technical Details: > > _-Eliminates up to 99 percentage of the radiation absorbed compared to a direct use of mobile phones_ > > That might be a major selling point to many buyers??? Stupid buyers, perhaps. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/12 "2012-11-25T21:56:23Z")
Neat. Now, if I could just find a hand-free headset that actually works. Is there some secret to finding one? I am now on my second hand-free headset. It connects to both my cell phone and my land-line phone. I can hear just fine with it – but people I talk to say they can barely hear me. Both of my sets have produced this complaint. What does it take to find a headset that works better than this? Other than, you know, just buying one after another after another after another until I stumble upon a good one? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/13 "2012-11-25T22:05:05Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > What does it take to find a headset that works better than this? Other than, you know, just buying one after another after another after another until I stumble upon a good one? Hey! Quit trying to short-circuit the Consumer Imperative! You want our entire society to crumble? ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2012, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/14 "2012-11-25T23:25:11Z")
> [@doorhinge](#): > > According to the Technical Details: > > _-Eliminates up to 99 percentage of the radiation absorbed compared to a direct use of mobile phones_ > > That might be a major selling point to many buyers??? As I was walking out of work one day, I saw someone walking in using one. My thought was, "you spent extra money to use something to hold up to your ear that is actually \*bigger \*than the phone itself & don’t even get the benefit of hands-free. :smack: " ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/15 "2012-11-26T02:44:36Z")
I saw that a while ago on think geek, and immediately wanted one. Sometimes I want both my hands free when I talk. Also, my android phone is so boxy and I have small hands, so it’s difficult to hold. It’s easy to cradle something like that in your neck while you work, but if the sound quality is bad I guess I will pass. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/16 "2012-11-26T02:54:29Z")
Ooh! I think it would be fun to have something like that. Just for the silliness and novelty of it. I love the pic of the woman with the cell phone in the pocket of her coat and talking on the handset. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/17 "2012-11-26T03:04:06Z")
Is that a vintage circa 1965 rotary phone receiver in your pants or are you glad to see me. ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/18 "2012-11-26T08:34:31Z")
[http://www.ilenesmachine.com/images\_blog/handsfree\_small.jpg](http://www.ilenesmachine.com/images_blog/handsfree_small.jpg) ? ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/19 "2012-11-26T14:37:45Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > I think the OP’s product isn’t such a bad idea. I don’t own one, but it would be a hell of a lot more comfortable to use for a long period of time than a regular smartphone. :dubious: Are we being whooshed? How is holding a handset to one’s ear more comfortable than holding a regular smartphone to one’s ear? ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049/20 "2012-11-26T14:41:41Z")
> [@AaronX](#): > > [http://www.ilenesmachine.com/images\_blog/handsfree\_small.jpg](http://www.ilenesmachine.com/images_blog/handsfree_small.jpg) ? My brother has a similar pic from his college days (early '80’s) in which he secured a landline handset to his head with a liberal quantity of masking tape. Inelegant, but effective. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-christmas-present-for-well-an-idiot-i-guess/642049.md?page=2)