# The perfect gift...an engraved speculum! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 25, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148 "2005-03-25T03:47:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/21 "2005-03-25T19:23:24Z")
_thanking Whoever that she just got a notice yesterday that all is okay and she doesn’t have to go in to face one of those things again for another year_ ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/22 "2005-03-25T19:29:38Z")
[I’ve always wanted to see my own cervix!](http://www.goodvibes.com/cgi-bin/sgin0102.exe?UID=2005032511495949&T1=1+7+BG+BE02&FNM=00&UID=2005032511495949&UREQA=5&UREQB=4&UREQC=3&TRAN85=N) (VERY unsafe for work!) Robin ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/23 "2005-03-25T22:55:02Z")
Apparently they were going to have it mounted on a plaque (the guy at the trophy store asked if it was some kind of brace, and she said yes) but decided just to have the engraving done since the odd shape makes it difficult to attach to a board. It was very easy to hold in the vise, though. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/24 "2005-03-26T02:21:37Z")
> [@Snickers](#): > > …D. wanted to take their used speculums down there to give to the hospital. However, the speculums they use are plastic, which they normally throw away after one use, and there’s really no way to sterilize them properly for use by someone else. I joked with dad that sure there was - just stick 'em in the autoclave and let D. take the hunks of melted plastic with him next time he went. Can’t plastic be chemically sterilized? I mean, they’re sterile plastic speculums to begin with, right? So, _something_ made them sterile after manufacture. Now I’m curious as to just what… ---
**Author:** ![Jillyvn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Jillyvn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jillyvn)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/25 "2005-03-26T03:52:18Z")
This thread reminded me of a conversation I overheard. I was sitting in a popular hang out coffee shop in the gay district in my old town, a stones through from two very open minded lesbians talking about sex. Being a straight women who would classify as bi-curious, I was eavesdropping (bad I know). They were talking about ordering speculums from online medical supply stores for sexual purposes. I consider myself open-minded but I couldn’t figure out what in the heck this would be for, and they didn’t oblige with an explanation. Rather, they were critiquing the various supply stores. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/26 "2005-03-26T04:58:15Z")
> [@Rebekkah](#): > > This thread reminded me of a conversation I overheard. > > I was sitting in a popular hang out coffee shop in the gay district in my old town, a stones through from two very open minded lesbians talking about sex. Being a straight women who would classify as bi-curious, I was eavesdropping (bad I know). > > They were talking about ordering speculums from online medical supply stores for sexual purposes. … :eek: :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/27 "2005-03-26T13:16:46Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Gah! They put…that…there? > > _shudders and makes a mental note to never, every, go to a gynecologist_ Yep. And they tell you that if you’re sexually active it’s no big deal, because it’s not nearly as big as a penis. They’re full of shit. Yeah, a penis is bigger _around_, but it doesn’t have _edges_. And sure you can sterilize plastic. Some of it will stand up to the steam autoclave, and what won’t can be bagged up and tossed in the ethylene oxide sterilizer. As **Portia** points out, they got sterile from the factory somehow. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/28 "2005-03-26T13:37:43Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Yep. And they tell you that if you’re sexually active it’s no big deal, because it’s not nearly as big as a penis. They’re full of shit. Yeah, a penis is bigger _around_, but it doesn’t have _edges_. > > . And it’s warm. And it’s meant to fit, it’s the right shape. And while a penis is hard (hopefully) it’s still spongy, and flexible where a speculum is not. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/29 "2005-03-26T14:02:46Z")
> [@don't ask](#): > > Not a used speculum exactly, but I bought a nurse friend an antique syringe set from an antique shop. She now has quite a collection of ancient medical equipment. > > I am hoping to get rich with my invention to alleviate the nervousness associated with the use of the duckbill speculum. I am looking for financing to market the **Daffy Duckbill speculum**. Maybe soon. That’s a dandy idea, if you can make it like the homer simpson bottle opener, and have it say ‘you’re desh-picable’ when you, um, use…it…I’ll lend my support. ---
**Author:** ![monado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@monado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monado)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/30 "2005-03-26T15:06:02Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > I’ve got an appointment for Monday, and now I’m feeling distinctly antsy about it. … You could ask for it as a souvenir. **Make sure your doctor warms it up, first, if it’s metal! But not too warm.** (Plastic is OK as is.) ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/31 "2005-03-26T16:45:11Z")
**NinjaChick** , normally, it’s not really all that bad. It can be pinchy and uncomfortable, but a speculum in the hands of a competent person isn’t an instrument of torture by any means. And I don’t think I’ve ever had a metal one used on me, or else they warmed them up first. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one, they just sort of went to work, and it’s hard to see down there. I went to a new doctor here (actually, my first time at a full-fledged doc instead of the nurse practitioners at Planned Parenthood) and he was done almost before I realized he’d started. Amazingly quick and gentle. I wish I could send all of you to him. ---
**Author:** ![monado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@monado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monado)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/32 "2005-03-26T17:25:59Z")
My doctors, for years, have also had oven mitts over those cold metal stirrups that you put your heels into. The only place they fall down is in not having cartoons and travel posters on the ceiling! ---
**Author:** ![monado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@monado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monado)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/33 "2005-03-26T17:28:56Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Gah! They put…that…there? > > _shudders and makes a mental note to never, every, go to a gynecologist_ NinjaChick, go every year! Just try to think of yourself as a car getting its oil checked. 🙂 It’s much better to have someone take a look with their little spreaders, take a Pap smear, and make sure that everything is OK than to die of cancer!!! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/34 "2005-03-26T17:41:32Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Just head down to SPECULUM CITY! Right now they’re have their clearance sale: buy 9 speculums and get the 10th one for just one penny! don’t wail on me man, cos you can’t afford a ticket, Back to Speculum City!! ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/35 "2005-03-26T23:07:26Z")
Yet another reason why I plan to avoid seeing the gyno for the first time for as long as possible. My doctor won’t start suggesting I go until I’m about 25, right? I figure I’ll just avoid my doctor for a few years after my 25th birthday… ---
**Author:** ![monado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@monado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monado)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/36 "2005-03-27T15:25:27Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > Yet another reason why I plan to avoid seeing the gyno for the first time for as long as possible. > > My doctor won’t start suggesting I go until I’m about 25, right? I figure I’ll just avoid my doctor for a few years after my 25th birthday… They are recommended yearly from 18 or whenever you become sexually active, whichever comes first. Frankly, since this cancer can develop to a dangerous stage within 6 months and early detection has a high rate of cure, I don’t know why they are not recommended and funded at that interval. P.S. Women who live with smokers are more likely to develop cervical cancer. ---
**Author:** ![monado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@monado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monado)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/37 "2005-03-27T16:36:54Z")
I’m replying to myself to add more. I did a Google search on gynecology +“Pap smear” +frequency and turned up quite a lot of good info – about accuracy, how often, when you can relax and start going every 3 years, and so on. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/38 "2005-03-27T17:39:10Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > Yet another reason why I plan to avoid seeing the gyno for the first time for as long as possible. > > My doctor won’t start suggesting I go until I’m about 25, right? I figure I’ll just avoid my doctor for a few years after my 25th birthday… Go. Go now. Make an appointment tomorrow, and go. If my daughter hadn’t been getting Pap smears done since before age 18, …well, I don’t want to even imagine the consequences. And she just turned 23 last week. Cervical cancer is not fun, and I’m eternally grateful that her problem was caught and treated and did not develop into cancer. But if she had waited until after 25, it may well have been too late. If you are having sex, get a Pap. If you’re not having sex, get a Pap. Getting your ears pierced hurts more. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/39 "2005-03-27T17:40:44Z")
> [@Keapon Laffin](#): > > :eek: :eek: :eek: > > Uhh, just how does one get their hands on a \*used \* speculum? > I assume its not something you can just get off eBay… > > … hmm… I’ll go check now… Easy, they stole it from the office 😃 ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/40 "2005-03-27T22:37:57Z")
> [@Rebekkah](#): > > I consider myself open-minded but I couldn’t figure out what in the heck this would be for, and they didn’t oblige with an explanation. I could probably answer that. Do you want me to anwer that? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148.md?page=3)