# The perfect gift...an engraved speculum! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 25, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148 "2005-03-25T03:47:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/41 "2005-03-28T00:06:09Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > I could probably answer that. Do you want me to anwer that? Yes, but will you please use a spoiler box for the squeemish? ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/42 "2005-03-28T12:28:11Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > Go. Go now. Make an appointment tomorrow, and go. > > If my daughter hadn’t been getting Pap smears done since before age 18, …well, I don’t want to even imagine the consequences. And she just turned 23 last week. Cervical cancer is not fun, and I’m eternally grateful that her problem was caught and treated and did not develop into cancer. But if she had waited until after 25, it may well have been too late. > > If you are having sex, get a Pap. If you’re not having sex, get a Pap. Getting your ears pierced hurts more. I think I’ll take my chances. Yeah, I know I should go. I probably will eventually, just not yet. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/43 "2005-03-28T16:56:37Z")
I just went to the gyno today and was suprised when she took the speculum out of a little heated drawer at the end of the table! Nice and warm! Of course, she could have warned me about the finger up the butt ahead of time, but we can’t have everything, can we… ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/44 "2005-03-28T16:58:26Z")
Oh, and **AngelicGemma**? Just go to the gyno. It’s really not a big deal, afterwards you’ll be like “That’s all I was afraid of?” And then you will know you are healthy, and you can get birth controll pills, and life will be happy and carefree. Just go. Please. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/45 "2005-03-28T17:58:13Z")
Yes do go! I plead guilty to exaggerating the “ick” factor for sort of comic effect, but I swear it really is NOT a hassle, and just think how efficent and proud of yourelf you will feel afterwards. Takes hardly any time at all, and does not hurt. Really. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/46 "2005-03-28T20:48:33Z")
> [@The Devil's Grandmother](#): > > Yes, but will you please use a spoiler box for the squeemish? Well Ok. Although I’m surprised the grandmother of the devil would be squeamish about anything 😃 . [spoiler] Well, first of all you have to consider that lots of things that are unpleasent in other contexts are erotic in…well, erotic contexts. Like biting or spanking, or, I dunno, enemas (well if I’m already boxed for the squeamish I might as well use it.) So there’s that. Secondly, well, what’s not to like? Sex is all about having your orifices stretched (I make that plural since as I noted in my first ost here there are also anal speculums.) Why else to girl (and gay guys) like big thick dicks? This is just taking it a bit farther. Farther than some people want to go, but some people don’t like fisting either. Chacun a son gout. 🙂 Thirdly, of course there are all kinds of psychlogical reason. Someone wanting to see their partner all streched open and vunerable. Possibly role playing games, doctor/patient, or some other athority figure/hapless victim. And it leaves open the possibility (pun intended of course) of other “tortures”, ice cubes, wax, violet wands… And of course if any or all that sounds painful, well, some peoplle like pain :). (And anyway, nothing is a painful in a sexual cotext what with all those endophins going.) [/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/47 "2005-03-28T21:09:42Z")
I’d heard of those before but had never actually looked one up. Kinda looks like a shoehorn for one of those little furry hand muffs. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/48 "2005-03-28T23:59:31Z")
> [@Little Bird](#): > > Of course, she could have warned me about the finger up the butt ahead of time, but we can’t have everything, can we… They’ve never done that to me – and if they did that to me without warning, I think they’d get kicked across the room. I do hope you complained loudly about that! ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148/49 "2005-03-29T16:23:40Z")
The speculum only gets you partway in, you know. Consider a set of [dilators](http://www.floridamedicalsales.com/wallach/Cervical_Dilators_Sounds.htm). Go slow (cramps). And get your own [curettes](http://www.choicetolivewith.com/curette_angles.JPG) too. (As long as you’re exploring, scrape around a bit, why don’t you?) Or [take some samples](http://www.bcb.ltd.uk/old-images/l+kev.jpg). ::\>pinch\<:: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-gift-an-engraved-speculum/296148.md?page=2)