# The Perfect Girl
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [August 9, 2000, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683 "2000-08-09T07:06:38Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/1 "2000-08-09T07:06:38Z")
Following some interest in [The Perfect Guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=33788) I thought I’d share this as well.
I had made a tongue-in-cheek list of the perfect woman (which I’m yet to post in the other thread and may not do so now) but it got to me thinking about a serious list for what would qualify as my soulmate. This is what my rushed brainstorm came up with:
1. Have a natural smile that embodies enthusiasm.
2. Have eyes that dance with her smile and twinkle with mischief without it
3. Be conscious of health without becoming obsessed by it
4. Have a good sense of humour
5. Not worry about what the neighbours/relatives will think
6. Be affectionate
7. Not play games when she wants something (whether it’s physical, material or emotional)
8. Love snuggling
9. Be intelligent. She doesn’t have to be able to debate Schroedinger’s Cat but it’d be nice if she knew what it was.
10. Be spontaneous
11. Be unafraid to explore her own sexuality (preferably with my company)
12. Enjoy time together but be comfortable when we’re apart.
13. Be honest
14. Be trusting
15. Understand that sometimes I don’t want to talk about it. I just need a hug.
16. Appreciate the difference between sex and making love and recognising that we need both
17. Catch me off guard with occasional surprises
18. Enjoy both giving and receiving massages
19. Appreciate my hobbies as I’d appreciate hers
20. Not get upset when I want to watch the big game. In fact she’d have munchies ready so I wouldn’t miss anything in getting up.
21. Love lying in bed listening to the rain
22. Enjoy dancing in the rain (heck and singing too)
23. Be independent but preferring the interdependence of the relationship
24. Be unafraid to speak her mind but without making it an emotional slanging match
25. Willing to try new things
26. Feel comfortable with silences (ie understand they don’t have to be filled when in each other’s company)
27. Not analyse every word or nuance
28. Be secure in herself or at least attempt to be
29. Have a cute nickname for me (and not use it in front of my mates)
30. Have an occasional wicked streak
31. Never ever ask if I think she’s fat
32. In fact never ever ask questions she doesn’t really want the answer to or wants one answer only
33. Not generalise about the genders and what the perfect man is/would do unless she was making fun
34. Love cuddles and hugs
35. Let me open the door for her and treat her like a princess
36. Talk with me not at me
37. Never assumes she is automatically right or that her idea is better
38. Be open minded and fair
39. Be willing to do things she didn’t overly enjoy and not to be too happy when I agree to not to do them because she doesn’t.
40. Be capable of withstanding all the affection I’d shower upon her
41. Be supportive when I’m a bit down or when things are tough
42. Always be true to herself
Comments anyone?
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### Author:  [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/2 "2000-08-09T10:32:11Z")
I already found her!
* * *
Yer pal,
Satan
[sub]TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Four months, 8 hours, 28 minutes and 14 seconds.
4894 cigarettes not smoked, saving $611.76.
Life saved: 2 weeks, 2 days, 23 hours, 50 minutes.[/sub]
**_"Satan is not an unattractive person."_-Drain Bead**
[sub]Thanks for the ringing endorsement, honey!\*[/sub]
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### Author:  [@Girlbysea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlbysea)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/3 "2000-08-09T11:25:52Z")
It’s sad, but when you are truly like that, no one wants you…
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### Author:  [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/4 "2000-08-09T11:26:42Z")
Now THAT Satan was sweet.
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### Author:  [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/5 "2000-08-09T13:59:12Z")
1. Luscious Hooters
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### Author:  [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/6 "2000-08-09T14:03:51Z")
Does being able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose count for anything?
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### Author:  [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/7 "2000-08-09T14:04:54Z")
I consider myself to be fairly intelligent but tell me this… what is Schroedinger’s Cat? I’ve never heard of it.
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### Author:  [@DVous\_Means](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DVous_Means)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/8 "2000-08-09T14:10:50Z")
I thought the definition of the perfect woman was this:
Buys you beer until midnight, fucks until 3AM, then turns into a pizza.
And the Ocker version:
She’s three feet high, no teeth, flat head (to put your beer glass on), and her dad owns the pub.
DVous now ducking and running…
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### Author:  [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/9 "2000-08-09T14:13:17Z")
All I would add is (and perhaps these sentiments are listed but worded a bit differently):
– She’s beautiful on the inside and out. She doesn’t seem to realize the former, and she doesn’t call a lot of attention to the latter.
– She has a fabulous sense of humor that, while it can be biting at times, isn’t negative or hurtful.
– To hear her laugh is the reason you hope your heart is still beating when you wake up in the morning.
– She’s as excited as you that the Detroit Lions seem to have upgraded the speed in their linebacking corps, which bodes well for the nickle package that they had so many problems with last year.
– She gets a little spring in her step when the Red Wings season begins.
(Well, maybe the last two were pushing it. But we are talking **perfection** here …)
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### Author:  [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/10 "2000-08-09T14:22:56Z")
[Here](http://www.lassp.cornell.edu/~ardlouis/dissipative/Schrcat.html) you go, Rachelle. Physics stuff.
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### Author:  [@pLt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pLt)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2000, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/11 "2000-08-10T00:20:25Z")
She should be really smart. She should argue with me in her head, and use words like “egregious” and “sophistry” on a daily basis.
Naturally, she must be drop-dead gorgeous
A Voice. An amazing voice. She could melt butter when she talks, and she can break glass when she sings. Ability to manipulate objects with your vocal chords is cool. When you hear her voice from whatever source warm shivers run up your spine.
Let me re-emphasize. She should have a nice voice.
She must know exactly why there are so many songs about rainbows.
She plays the harp. And probably the harpsichord. And maybe the penny whistle. And definitely the flute. And maybe the nose flute. Yeah, probably the nose flute.
She should have no problem with guys who spend a lot of time speaking in small character voices. She should probably even like it.
1. She should have the ability to control the wind with her voice, like Pocahontas.
2. She should like musicals, but only the good ones. Good ones of course being those that I like.
3. She should have “happy” selected as her default emotion.
4. She should want children.
5. She started reading this thread, and made it this far.
6.She started reading this thread, and actually found the part about schroedinger’s cat to be interesting.
6. An accent would be cool.
7. She should have a thing for film-geeks, and be singularly devoted to a particular television-directing/producing one of them, preferably me.
Finally, she should be able to walk on water, talk to animals, read my mind (sometimes), like The Princess Bride, enjoy the outdoors, rule a small island nation, make really good lasagne, be very tolerant of a house full of thousands of electronic gadgets, all wired together, never sleep, and want desperately to pack up and move to a small villa in the South of France.
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### Author:  [@pLt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pLt)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2000, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/12 "2000-08-10T00:22:21Z")
damn … I screwed up that post …
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### Author:  [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2000, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/13 "2000-08-10T01:42:22Z")
Well, to start with, she’d have to be a woman.
Though frankly, at this point, even that is open to negotiation.
–
“Ah! My groin!”
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### Author:  [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)
#### Post date: [August 10, 2000, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/14 "2000-08-10T03:52:00Z")
Smart enough for me to be interested in her. Dumb enough for her to be interested in me.
I’m beginning to think there’s no overlap there…
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### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2000, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/15 "2000-08-11T04:14:00Z")
_applauds Smeghead’s criteria_
I notice there is a marked absence in female volunteers…
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### Author:  [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2000, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/16 "2000-08-11T04:22:13Z")
I knew [Cecil did a poem](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_122.html) about this.
The perfect woman? You called? 😃
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### Author:  [@Zoing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoing)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2000, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/17 "2000-08-11T04:31:46Z")
Um, I play the harp. Just thought that’d be relevant.
I was actually curious to see if someone’d make a thread like this - guys never seem to share their “perfect girl”. Fun to see. Except for the interest in sports part. But, anyhow…
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### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2000, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/18 "2000-08-11T04:46:32Z")
39a Understanding that last sentance and understanding me with a grin if I talk like that
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### Author:  [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2000, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/19 "2000-08-11T08:33:01Z")
- Be willing to tolerate Maxim and experiment with the sexual secrets revealed therein.
- Understand and enjoy the intricacies of football.
- Hold tight to the me that nobody knows.
- Relatedly, enjoy anime. (I’ll honestly paypal a dollar to the first person who knows - and posts - where the above “rule” came from…)
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### Author:  [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2000, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-girl/28683/20 "2000-08-11T10:51:59Z")
Just a note to say, I don’t care if a woman is into sport or not. In fact, being a totally non-sport-enthusiast, I prefer similar in the Significant Other department.
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