_smoooch!_
Oh, the OP? Why, you just described yourself, of course, my buddy, my pal. 😉
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### Author:  [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)
#### Post date: [August 8, 2000, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/5 "2000-08-08T12:13:49Z")
So, purp, is he single?
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### Author:  [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)
#### Post date: [August 8, 2000, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/6 "2000-08-08T12:26:21Z")
What about socks ???
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### Author:  [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)
#### Post date: [August 8, 2000, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/7 "2000-08-08T12:32:50Z")
1. She would hold my hand, and look into my eyes as we talked. Important things or not, does not matter.
2. She would expect to be treated as a Queen. And rightfully so.
3. She would actually allow me to find the damned store WITHOUT having to stop for directions! 😉
4. She would appreciate sunset walks on the beach, arm in arm, where no one else existed in my world but her.
5. She would allow ME to cook dinner more often than she does. And be willing to try new things.
6. She would enjoy backrubs and foot massages. Just as I enjoy giving them.
7. She would be interested in reading. Especially together.
8. She would kiss me when she felt like it, only playing games occasionally, when a playful mood strikes.
9. She would surprise me at work, by showing up unexpectedly, just to say hi, or wanting to go somewhere together for lunch.
10. When she has been bad, she reverts to a young girl, very innocent while apologizing.
11. She would NOT tell me all of her foibles from the past, unless she really NEEDED to discuss them, or thought that I would find them amusing or stimulating.
12. She would be interested in travel, and equally interested in staying home together.
13. She would like to hug. That is a major thing.
14. She would actually tell me about her day…
15. She would enjoy being spoiled, and return the favor occasionally…
O
* * *
vidi vici veni
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### Author:  [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)
#### Post date: [August 8, 2000, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/8 "2000-08-08T13:22:43Z")
Sorry – I fail #14. Big time.
But I still scored a **96**! 😉
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### Author:  [@Delta-9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delta-9)
#### Post date: [August 8, 2000, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/9 "2000-08-08T13:43:15Z")
1. She would not need silly lists to know how to be the perfect girl
End of list.
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### Author:  [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)
#### Post date: [August 8, 2000, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/10 "2000-08-08T15:28:34Z")
Zyada, yep! That he is, dpr is quite single. I’d go for him, if I was single. But, I’m not, and Mr Bear took my heart a long time ago. So, go for it, girlfriend! 😉
Oicu, I _like_ your list! Would you send that on to Mr Bear for me? Thanks! 😃
Delta, that sounds nice, but I’m not perfect, so I guess that wouldn’t apply to me. Oh, well. Presumably Mr Bear likes me just the way I am anyway.
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### Author:  [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)
#### Post date: [August 8, 2000, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/11 "2000-08-08T15:35:47Z")
As far as the original list goes, I’m afraid I can’t comply with numbers 19 and 20. That kind of internal conflict makes my head hurt.
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### Author:  [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)
#### Post date: [August 8, 2000, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/12 "2000-08-08T15:45:00Z")
Sorry, but a lot of the original list looks like ways to be totally wrapped around someones finger.
and if you really need a list on how to treat a lady, you shouldnt have a lady.
{Hi Purple!!! 🙂 how was the oddessy?}
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### Author:  [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)
#### Post date: [August 8, 2000, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/13 "2000-08-08T15:56:52Z")
no no no… you’ve got it all wrong! I’m none of those things!
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### Author:  [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)
#### Post date: [August 8, 2000, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/14 "2000-08-08T16:30:24Z")
Hi, John! It was just _ **Great!** _ I was wondering if anyone really wanted to hear about it, before I started a thread telling everyone all the gory details. 😛
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### Author:  [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)
#### Post date: [August 8, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/15 "2000-08-08T17:55:32Z")
O - I can do everything except:
#3 - patience is not my long suit and I have very good directional sense - will you let me give directions if you are lost?
#2 - How dare you treat me like a Queen? FYI, I am a Goddess, and will be treated accordingly. 😛
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### Author:  [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)
#### Post date: [August 8, 2000, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/16 "2000-08-08T18:06:55Z")
You can ALWAYS tell me where to go, Zyada…
And Goddess is fine with ME… (The sacrifices should be INTERESTING!)
O
* * *
vidi vici veni!
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### Author:  [@HomeSlice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HomeSlice)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/17 "2000-08-09T04:22:58Z")
I thought that when i opened this thread, there’d be my pic or at least my name in here.
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### Author:  [@Zoing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoing)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/18 "2000-08-09T04:32:26Z")
I can’t help but ask… warm fuzzies? As in the book??
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### Author:  [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/19 "2000-08-09T04:46:49Z")
Warm fuzzies = warm fuzzy feelings
_still resisting (and valiantly) the urge to post the female equivalent list_
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### Author:  [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2000, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-guy/28536/20 "2000-08-09T05:49:01Z")
Me thinks dpr has been reading women’s magizines. 😉
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