# The Perfect Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 14, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461 "2005-03-14T14:22:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/21 "2005-03-14T22:04:30Z")
No thread is complete without a rambling and unjustified comparison to Nazis. You know, Hitler thought _he_ could create a perfect thread too! You’re just as bad as he is! Oh, and my unique circumstance invalidates your generalization. ---
**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/22 "2005-03-14T22:06:50Z")
Alright, so far so good. We need a few “special” people to show up though…Let’s see perfect thread is in need of: 1. Some humor. I invite **lieu** , **Hal Briston** , **Annie X-mas** and **SatisfyingAndyLiscious**. They always make me laugh. 2. We need some debating too. Maybe **Polycarp** , **Diogenes** , **BrainGlutton** , and **Liberal** will be along soon. 3. We need some culture, definitely need some culture. Perhaps **Eve** , or **Marley23** will pop in. 4. There is a definite lack of moderating in here! “Calling all mods” Get in here and moderate this thread perfectly or else we will be forced to start a pit thread on the lack of proper perfect moderation. Don’t make me do it. 5. Wisdom. The list here would be endless, but **Q.E.D.** , **Quadgop** , and **Spectre of Pithecanthropus** come to mind. A little utopia please. ---
**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/23 "2005-03-14T22:13:12Z")
you might be thinking that you just saw some serious coding errors, but you must be mistaken, as this is a thread of perfection. That was just a small example of my incredible coding abilities. Bow down at the regulent pulchritude of my perfection! ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/24 "2005-03-14T23:10:18Z")
\*\*RancidYakButterTeaParty \*\* Thought themselves such a smarty. “I’ll start the perfect thread from the top of my head!” It was met with applause, quite hearty. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/25 "2005-03-14T23:18:48Z")
Stop, you fools!!! Don’t you realize that once the perfect thread is completed that they’ll shut the board down, because there won’t be any reason to keep it going? I beg someone to blemish this thread ever so slightly for the survival of us all!!! Please!! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/26 "2005-03-14T23:27:03Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > Stop, you fools!!! > > Don’t you realize that once the perfect thread is completed that they’ll shut the board down, because there won’t be any reason to keep it going? I beg someone to blemish this thread ever so slightly for the survival of us all!!! Please!! Happy to oblige! Here’s a random story that isn’t well-told, doesn’t add anything of value and doesn’t connect in a significant way to anything that’s been said: In high school, one of the math teachers had lost the top section of his fourth finger on one hand in some accident, the nature of which I don’t recall. We used to joke that he counted on his fingers thusly: “One, two, three, pi . . . .” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/27 "2005-03-14T23:33:20Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Hey, I _know_ I’m going to be famous one day, so here _I_ am. > > You may all start basking in the wonderful glow of my superior presence now. Don’t forget those sunglasses. 🆒 ::runs nekkid past the glow:: [sub]And then past it again, and then again…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/28 "2005-03-14T23:45:25Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > Stop, you fools!!! > > Don’t you realize that once the perfect thread is completed that they’ll shut the board down, because there won’t be any reason to keep it going? I beg someone to blemish this thread ever so slightly for the survival of us all!!! Please!! /me hurries to finish his Towers of Hanoi simulation before the browser window closes. ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/29 "2005-03-15T00:04:14Z")
I lack the perfection to be able to post in this thread… ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/30 "2005-03-15T00:31:48Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > Stop, you fools!!! > > Don’t you realize that once the perfect thread is completed that they’ll shut the board down, because there won’t be any reason to keep it going? I beg someone to blemish this thread ever so slightly for the survival of us all!!! Please!! I thought that was one we figure out the nine billion names of Cecil? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/31 "2005-03-15T00:34:30Z")
I just drove for over 8 hours without being passed once. Not even by that police car. Though he did keep up longer than I expected. (Pit stops don’t count!) ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/32 "2005-03-15T00:40:56Z")
Do not fight the hypothetical. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/33 "2005-03-15T00:42:29Z")
Dental Plan. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/34 "2005-03-15T01:00:40Z")
- :: farts loudly :: \* ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/35 "2005-03-15T01:01:59Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > - :: farts loudly :: \* You were supposed to say “Lisa needs braces”. Oh well. It was worth a try. ---
**Author:** ![FlippyFly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FlippyFly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlippyFly)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/36 "2005-03-15T01:09:58Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > \*\*RancidYakButterTeaParty \*\* > Thought themselves such a smarty. > “I’ll start the perfect thread > from the top of my head!” > It was met with applause, quite hearty. > 🙂 Nothing can be perfect without a Haiku Early one fresh spring the perfect thread was started how I love Cecil! [sub]did anyone else ever hear the rule that a Haiku needs a seasonal reference to be a real Haiku?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/37 "2005-03-15T01:14:23Z")
> [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](#): > > 1. We need some debating too. A’ight. All people from Wisconsin are subhuman mongrels who don’t deserve universal healthcare provided by the tax and spend Green Party. The Bible was originally Hebrew erotica that was badly mistranslated. The world was created by Din, Nayru and Farore in thirteen minutes and therefore microevolution but not macroevolution is only a random guess. We should send troops to conquer Belieze, because they hate Canada. Discuss. ---
**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/38 "2005-03-15T01:18:06Z")
I agree on all points, save the spelling of Belize. I bet you had fun writing that didn’t you? I have to go call Cecil now, I want to make sure he gets in on the first page… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/39 "2005-03-15T01:29:23Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > \We should send troops to conquer Belieze, because they hate Canada. > > Discuss. Everybody blames Canada. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/40 "2005-03-15T01:36:37Z")
> [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](#): > > Alright, so far so good. We need a few “special” people to show up though…Let’s see perfect thread is in need of: > > 1. Some humor. I invite **lieu** , **Hal Briston** , **Annie X-mas** and **SatisfyingAndyLiscious**. They always make me laugh. > > 2. We need some debating too. Maybe **Polycarp** , **Diogenes** , **BrainGlutton** , and **Liberal** will be along soon. > > 3. We need some culture, definitely need some culture. Perhaps **Eve** , or **Marley23** will pop in. > > 4. There is a definite lack of moderating in here! “Calling all mods” Get in here and moderate this thread perfectly or else we will be forced to start a pit thread on the lack of proper perfect moderation. Don’t make me do it. > > 5. Wisdom. The list here would be endless, but **Q.E.D.** , **Quadgop** , and **Spectre of Pithecanthropus** come to mind. > > A little utopia please. How about a conqueror? Yeah, this thread difinitely needs one. Preferably a Mighty Nordic one. So here I am. Oh, and that Belize thing? I already took care of it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461.md?page=3)