# The Perfect Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 14, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461 "2005-03-14T14:22:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/41 "2005-03-15T01:40:22Z")
Dis ees **Cicil**. I are using **Keapon Laffin** ’s ID 2 post. It is 2 sho my 1337 hacking skills. Uhh… hello to you all. Okay, **Rancid** , lets see if this stings him into retorting… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dare\_devil007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@dare\_devil007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dare_devil007)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/42 "2005-03-15T01:56:34Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Everybody blames Canada. It’s rather sad, if you ask me. But, then again, nobody did. _::Retreats to the corner::_ ---
**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/43 "2005-03-15T02:04:40Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > How about a conqueror? Yeah, this thread difinitely needs one. Preferably a Mighty Nordic one. So here I am. > > Oh, and that Belize thing? I already took care of it. My apologies Regallag, I should have known better than to leave out a mighty warrior. I appreciate you adding to the perfection, and also for taking care of that nagging Belize problem. ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/44 "2005-03-15T02:13:00Z")
> [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](#): > > I agree on all points, save the spelling of Belize. Who said anything about Belize? That’s a small Central American country which, as far as I know, has done nothing to warrant an invasion. I’m sure they like Canada just fine. I’m talking about _Belieze_, that Canadian-hating 3rd world shithole run by fundamentalist Satanists. They need to be taught a lesson. ---
**Author:** ![feppytweed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/feppytweed/32/4280_2.png) [@feppytweed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/feppytweed)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/45 "2005-03-15T02:30:48Z")
> [@](#): > > The Perfect Thread Band Name!!! ---
**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/46 "2005-03-15T02:31:01Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > Who said anything about Belize? That’s a small Central American country which, as far as I know, has done nothing to warrant an invasion. I’m sure they like Canada just fine. > > I’m talking about _Belieze_, that Canadian-hating 3rd world shithole run by fundamentalist Satanists. They need to be taught a lesson. Belieze! Of course. I vacationed there once with Anton Lavey. He hates Canada you know. Well, looks like you might want to talk this over with Regallag. Anyone heard from Cecil yet? Can we get a **Left Hand of Dorkness** in here? That would be cool. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/47 "2005-03-15T03:16:17Z")
> [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](#): > > Belieze! Of course. I vacationed there once with Anton Lavey. LeVay. I know this because he was my cousin. Really. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/48 "2005-03-15T03:19:00Z")
> [@LifeOnWry](#): > > LeVay. I know this because he was my cousin. Really. CRAP! LaVey. (how stupid do I look right now?) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/49 "2005-03-15T03:22:42Z")
> [@LifeOnWry](#): > > CRAP! LaVey. > > (how stupid do I look right now?) Is that one of those trick questions, like “Does this make my butt look big?” Stupid Beliezers. Shoulda nuked them all when we had the chance. ---
**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/50 "2005-03-15T03:22:46Z")
> [@LifeOnWry](#): > > CRAP! LaVey. > > (how stupid do I look right now?) Well, I can’t see you so how stupid do you normally look? It’s alright, really. In a thread of perfection, such as this, there are no mistakes. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/51 "2005-03-15T03:30:43Z")
This cannot be the perfect thread because you haven’t said anything at all about Mamas. Or Trains. Or Trucks. Or Prison. Or Gettin’ Drunk. ---
**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/52 "2005-03-15T03:34:15Z")
Once, when I was Gettin’ Drunk watching “Throw Mamma from the Train” at the drive in, a bunch of punk teenagers pulled up next to me in their Truck. They were so loud, with their rock music and all, that I couldn’t hear the speaker box. Well, one thing led to another, and after they removed that speaker box from that kid’s anus, they hauled me off to prison. Perfect ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/53 "2005-03-15T03:46:23Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > All people from Wisconsin are subhuman mongrels who don’t deserve universal healthcare provided by the tax and spend Green Party. _ahem_ You are clearly confusing us with people from Michigan. Really, Wisconsin is the only thing keeping the [yoopers](http://www.dayoopers.com/whatwher.html) in check. And a thankless job it is, too. If we weren’t so diligent about it, all them yoopers would come streaming down into Chicago and wreak havoc on those poor city folk. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/54 "2005-03-15T04:37:25Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Stupid Beliezers _Cheer up, **featherlou** Oh what shall we do With a Daydream Beliezer And a post from **Homebrew**?_ ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/55 "2005-03-15T08:37:00Z")
No mistakes? Yay! Now I get to tell… wait, I won’t. That story isn’t fit for public consumption. ---
**Author:** ![unclviny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e274bd/32.png) [@unclviny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unclviny)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/56 "2005-03-15T09:02:12Z")
::the perfect drive-by:: I touched a monkey once, it was very Monkey-like. Unclviny ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/57 "2005-03-15T09:05:39Z")
Perfection frightens me. _hides in walk-in closet behind the coats_ ---
**Author:** ![RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@RancidYakButterTeaParty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RancidYakButterTeaParty)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/58 "2005-03-15T12:27:08Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > _Cheer up, **featherlou** > Oh what shall we do > With a Daydream Beliezer > And a post from **Homebrew**?_ wow. just wow. and not a facetious wow either. That was…uhm…perfect! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/59 "2005-03-15T16:04:31Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > - :: farts loudly :: \* I burning your fart. _cough_ _wipes eyes_ _sneezes textured material_ Sweet Jaysus man, you just passed a disturbing composite. > [@](#): > > Can we get a Left Hand of Dorkness in here? That would be cool. I was going to stick this in the memorable quotes thread but here is now equally appropriate… > [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > And [banned poster] was polite only in the sense that a chigger isn’t violent. Heh. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461/60 "2005-03-15T19:18:35Z")
I’m currently snacking on a pretzel rod that has the perfect amount of salt on it. Does that count? Oh, wait, it must count…otherwise, it wouldn’t be mentioned in this thread! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perfect-thread/294461.md?page=2)