# The perils of Internet dating sites and finding a match 2,000 miles away
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perils-of-internet-dating-sites-and-finding-a-match-2-000-miles-away/684338
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [March 23, 2014, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perils-of-internet-dating-sites-and-finding-a-match-2-000-miles-away/684338 "2014-03-23T03:43:18Z")
**Posts on this page:** 2
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Dr\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Doom)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2014, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perils-of-internet-dating-sites-and-finding-a-match-2-000-miles-away/684338/41 "2014-03-31T16:45:22Z")
Hey **Leaffan** , thanks for the update.
Firstly, I think you shouldn’t get discouraged after only 1 month on the dating site. I would imagine with spring (hopefully) on the horizon, more women could be joining up than would be expected during the doldrums of a long Canadian winter.
Secondly, it sounds as though your expectation of what your next relationship should be like is pretty rigid. The sense I get from your OP is that you want to be living with someone. IMO that’s going to deter you from having a lot of fun. And you _were_ having fun with this woman, weren’t you? But you had to go and look so far into the future that you ignored how much enjoyment you were having _right now_. That’s a shame.
Thirdly, I want to relate to you that only being separated from your ex-wife for a single year is simply not that much time. The heart takes a long time to heal. The relationship decisions and expectations you have could still be, and IME likely are under the influence of very subtle past wounds. Try not to rush yourself.
I’d have advised you to not stop doing what you have been doing with this woman, and instead keep expectations low, and just enjoy what’s happening without overthinking. Apparently it’s too late for that. Damn.
For what it’s worth, I have experience with all of this.
---
### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perils-of-internet-dating-sites-and-finding-a-match-2-000-miles-away/684338/42 "2014-03-31T16:50:34Z")
That all sounds like good advice, **Dr\_Doom**. I was thinking about my previous advice; **Leaffan** probably shouldn’t be thinking in terms of marriage for a while yet - he’s probably still rebounding all over the place, and should be out to have fun, not get tied down right away. Well, I guess we can’t rule that out as part of the fun…😃
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-perils-of-internet-dating-sites-and-finding-a-match-2-000-miles-away/684338.md?page=2)