# The personal choice to go celibate... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 30, 2000, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952 "2000-10-30T18:26:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SkySlash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@SkySlash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkySlash)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952/1 "2000-10-30T18:26:44Z")
Yup…I made the decision this week to go celibate until I’m married or with someone long term that is headed towards marriage… I believe that every sexual encounter I’ve had that involved actual intercourse was a one night stand, or did not even last that long. As a result I’ve gotten turned off by sex and disappointed in it so far in my life. I’ve heard it said that sex without passion is just flesh pounding…I have to agree. Without passion and love, there is nothing there and the sex just seems like assisted masturbation. Boring and pointless… I’ve decided to stay celibate because I want to save what little sexual emotion I have left for the right person. I dont want to compare them to previous lovers…and I guess you could say I just want to let time reclaim a lost sense of virginity…I want to discover what it means to enjoy the passion of sex with someone I love…so I’m not going to have sex again unless I’m in love with my partner. So yeah, as of today…SkySlash is going celibate. What are your thoughts? -SS 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952/2 "2000-10-30T18:34:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkySlash \* > Yup…I made the decision this week to go celibate until I’m married or with someone long term that is headed towards marriage… Considering that you said _THIS_ > [@](#): > > Basically, I can see this girl as a definite LTR and so far, I could even see it go further than that. three days ago, I assume you’re not going to wait as long as you imply. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SkySlash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@SkySlash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkySlash)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952/3 "2000-10-30T18:42:48Z")
I dont how long is not that long…but it wont be anytime in the next year if I can help it… Although that girl in question and I did share our first kiss last night and I am still on fire from the passion that was behind it. Literally the best kiss I have ever experienced…I believe she echoed that sentiment as well. We’ll just have to see what happens, but as far as sex…well, lets just say I’ll have to be engaged to the person at the least. -SS 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Turpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Turpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turpentine)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952/4 "2000-10-30T19:05:48Z")
You really mean that? I suppose since sex has never been all that much fun for me anyway, this would apply to me too. Except if I somehow found my Soulmate, he would be disapppointed with my performance since i will have been out of practice for so long. Did you ever think about that? So…can you give me a link to your story about this girl? I liked the description of that kiss. I have a “friend” that I haven’t kissed yet, though I imagine it would be the same thing if i ever did. But since he is a friend, these sort of things strike as “impure thoughts.” I can’t imagine having sex with him (yet), but… I am rambling. The best of luck to you Mr. Slash. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952/5 "2000-10-30T19:14:05Z")
I don’t see a problem with it, personally. I also don’t think that your sexual performance will be a problem on that night either, anticipation will fill in a lot of “gaps”, if they really exist. Also, if you dont’ get involved all the time, you do avoid all the problems associated with a bad relationship. Be Picky. It’s worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952/6 "2000-10-30T20:11:20Z")
That’s a pretty large goal, don’t you think. No sex until you’re engaged. What happens if you’re in love and she’s in love and she wants to have sex? Are you going to ask her to marry you first or are you going to tell her no, not until you’re married, what?? ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952/7 "2000-10-30T20:42:16Z")
The only time I can see you having problems is if this other girl has a problem with it. I was with my last g/f for about 2 years w/o sex because she wanted to wait. I respected that and everything worked out alright(we broke up for a completely unrelated reason). If she’s in support of it, then I wish you luck holding yourself to it. It’s not easy. ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952/8 "2000-10-30T20:51:27Z")
Hi **Rachelle** , While **SkySlash** celibates, how about if we slip off to the Radisson and cel_ebrate_? 😉 :: sorry – someone had to say it :: ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952/9 "2000-10-30T20:53:28Z")
I wish you luck. I’m celibate by choice also, and I do agree it’s hard to stay that way. Hey, maybe the girl you mentioned is the One…who knows. I hope things work out. ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952/10 "2000-10-30T21:16:21Z")
Always wait. Always wait. Always wait. I’d say it again expect it would get boring and you’d just [“p.b.”] skip to the end. [/“p.b.”] No matter what my body is telling me, i’ve always paused, and thought if i really wanted to do it, even when i was in a serious exclusive relationship. Passion, the emotional kind, always makes it better. Are you sure you’re going “celibate” versus “abstinate”? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952/11 "2000-10-30T21:21:47Z")
Oy, you kids and your sexual repressive ways. I am _sooooooooo_ glad I’m sexually liberal. All I have to say, **Sky** , is that I will take comfort in the fact that I have convinced myself you’re really saving yourself for me, and you just don’t know it because we haven’t met in person yet. Better act quick, though - rumor has it once **matt\_mcl** wins the election I’m going to become a naturalized Canadian citizen, and then I’ll be off the market, no doubt. 😉 Whatever you decide, I hope it brings you happiness. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952/12 "2000-10-30T21:38:38Z")
I waited till I was 29 and married - it was worth it for me… ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2000, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-personal-choice-to-go-celibate/38952/13 "2000-10-31T00:19:37Z")
Hey Sky, can I use your sex life? I mean as long as you’re not using it, one of us might as well get something out of it. I promise not to break anything! It is a sensible choice to at least wait until there is some real commitment and connection and not just the lust of the moment. Waiting for marriage, though… Palmyra, my Merriam-Webster lists **abstinence** : voluntary refraining, esp. from eating certain foods or drinking liquor. **celibacy** : 1. the state of being unmarried; esp. abstention by vow from marriage 2. chastity. So either one would seem to work. Or neither, depending on nuances. I suppose you’re point is he’s vowing off sex, not vowing off marriage?