# The Philadelphia (cream cheese) Experiment
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-philadelphia-cream-cheese-experiment/332054
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [November 21, 2005, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-philadelphia-cream-cheese-experiment/332054 "2005-11-21T08:27:12Z")
**Posts on this page:** 9
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2005, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-philadelphia-cream-cheese-experiment/332054/1 "2005-11-21T08:27:12Z")
So, what do you think happens when you leave a tub of Philadelphia Light Cream Cheese in a dorm fridge in your parents’ attic for 8 years?
I’ll tell you.
It turns brown. And hard. Like plastic. Well maybe more like peanut brittle sans peanuts. Unfortunately I didn’t squeeze it in my hand to feel the exact consistency. Picked it up with two fingers - it FEELS like plastic.
There’s not too much green mold, but there’s some. There are some tiny crystals.
It has no smell.
I am not sure that Philadelphia Light Cream Cheese contains as much milk as we’d like to think.
Don’t worry…[i took a picture](http://www.flickr.com/photos/zipperjj/65434427/) before throwing it away.
Then I washed my hands.
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### Author:  [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2005, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-philadelphia-cream-cheese-experiment/332054/2 "2005-11-21T08:32:47Z")
What, you didn’t taste it?
“Light” cream cheese that’s been buried for eight years is a delicacy amongst the tlhIngan people of Central Asia. Just scrape the mold off, hide any sharp pointy knives you might have lying around, and have someone tie you to a chair first.
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### Author:  [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2005, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-philadelphia-cream-cheese-experiment/332054/3 "2005-11-21T08:49:44Z")
_That_ is what happens when you let the spores get out of line.
They… get all hard. And brown.
_Consolidated evil!_
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### Author:  [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2005, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-philadelphia-cream-cheese-experiment/332054/4 "2005-11-21T13:29:57Z")
Uh…um…hey, nice [doggie!](http://www.flickr.com/photos/zipperjj/32485494/in/photostream/)
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-philadelphia-cream-cheese-experiment/332054/5 "2005-11-21T14:35:08Z")
Surely you’ve just made something a bit like ordinary hard cheese, haven’t you? OK, the conditions are not exactly controlled, but your end result doesn’t sound terribly different to something like parmesan.
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### Author:  [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2005, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-philadelphia-cream-cheese-experiment/332054/6 "2005-11-21T14:37:42Z")
You can make glue from milk, so plasic cream cheese is not a supprise. I bet it was a lot like parmesean in a block.
The glue from milk was a Mr. Science experiment from about 1970. It made a great tree wound sealer. I seal a 12 inch wound on a tree and it barked over the wound in about 3 years.
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### Author:  [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2005, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-philadelphia-cream-cheese-experiment/332054/7 "2005-11-21T14:40:53Z")
I swear Mangetout wasn’t there when I started typing a response.
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### Author:  [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2005, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-philadelphia-cream-cheese-experiment/332054/8 "2005-11-21T16:03:01Z")
I know a girl who owns a 7 year old container of macaroni and cheese. For a while, I thought she meant it was an uncooked box. Wrong.
She said the last time she opened it, it “smelled like sharpie markers”.
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### Author:  [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-philadelphia-cream-cheese-experiment/332054/9 "2005-11-21T18:26:50Z")
Philadelphia cream cheese is brown and one molecule away from being plastic!!!