# The pithiest advice you ever got...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [August 30, 2017, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067 "2017-08-30T00:11:49Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![lriemann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e5b9ba/32.png) [@lriemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lriemann)\
**Post date:** [August 30, 2017, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/61 "2017-08-30T22:12:47Z")

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> [@Riemann](#):
>
> I’m going to remove the first letter and pass it off as my own.

😃

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**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\
**Post date:** [August 30, 2017, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/62 "2017-08-30T22:16:46Z")

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No matter what you are looking for, it will always be in the last place you look.

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**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\
**Post date:** [August 30, 2017, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/63 "2017-08-30T22:18:41Z")

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“Don’t eat anything you can’t pronounce.”

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**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\
**Post date:** [August 30, 2017, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/64 "2017-08-30T22:29:36Z")

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> [@Velocity](#):
>
> “Don’t eat anything you can’t pronounce.”

So cyanocobalamin, hydroxocobalamin, methylcobalamin, adenosylcobalamin, cholecalciferol, tocopherols, tocotrienols and phylloquinone are out.

But dog poop is ok.

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**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\
**Post date:** [August 30, 2017, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/65 "2017-08-30T23:31:35Z")

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“Buy a house now.” (My in-laws. Turned out to be excellent advice.)

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**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\
**Post date:** [August 30, 2017, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/66 "2017-08-30T23:39:46Z")

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“Don’t be stupid, get a dishwasher.”

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**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/67 "2017-08-31T00:17:30Z")

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When you come to a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra

If you can be anyone you want to be, why be someone else? - Boz Scaggs

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**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/68 "2017-08-31T01:16:45Z")

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> [@Knowed\_Out](#):
>
> Marriage is grand.
> 
> Divorce is a hundred grand.

And worth every penny!

Also — it is better to have loved and lost than to see your former PE teacher on Jerry Springer.

(Rev. Billy C Wirtz)

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**Author:** ![lisiate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@lisiate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisiate)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/69 "2017-08-31T01:47:13Z")

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Be what you wish to appear.

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**Author:** ![DrForrester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8edcca/32.png) [@DrForrester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrForrester)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/70 "2017-08-31T02:09:07Z")

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“When you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there” - George Harrison

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so.” - Douglas Adams

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**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/71 "2017-08-31T03:53:26Z")

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Why would they be logical? They’re people. People is never logical. \<— My dad. I think he got it from his mom. It would often get shortened to “People is never logical” and eventually “People is” would trigger a chorus of “never logical”. And yes, I know the proper grammar in English would be “are”: the Spanish original also used the wrong number.

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**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/72 "2017-08-31T07:51:38Z")

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Spend less than you earn’

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**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/73 "2017-08-31T11:58:34Z")

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I went to see an 85-year-old friend of the family attorney for some quickie advice on filing a small claims lawsuit. After 5 minutes of conversation, I got what I needed and thanked him. As he shook my hand, he leaned in and said, “One more thing. Don’t go in there with a hard-on”.  
mmm

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**Author:** ![Dr.Crap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.crap/32/3131_2.png) [@Dr.Crap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Crap)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/74 "2017-08-31T12:05:22Z")

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“Google it.”

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/75 "2017-08-31T13:16:52Z")

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You have the right to think it. You don’t have the right to say it.

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**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/76 "2017-08-31T13:39:42Z")

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> [@Annie-Xmas](#):
>
> You have the right to think it. You don’t have the right to say it.

Yup, that’s why the First Amendment says the government “shall make no law… abridging the freedom of thought”.

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**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/77 "2017-08-31T13:58:03Z")

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“I’d rather be rich than stupid.” – Jack Handey

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**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/78 "2017-08-31T15:23:50Z")

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You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken shit.

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**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/79 "2017-08-31T15:30:48Z")

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From my best friend on my wedding day: “_Never_ call her a bitch.”

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**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/80 "2017-08-31T16:29:46Z")

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From my dad: “Stupid is forever. Ignorance can be fixed.”

From my trial advocacy professor: “If you don’t believe in your case, nobody else will either.”

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