# The pithiest advice you ever got... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 30, 2017, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067 "2017-08-30T00:11:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/81 "2017-08-31T16:54:53Z")
From my aunt when I fretted about making a major life decision and how I’d be so old when it came to fruition: “How old will you be if you don’t do it?” ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/82 "2017-08-31T18:40:25Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Knees, nuts, neck, or nose. > > – my sensei > > Regards, > Shodan I don’t think this is going to replace “head, shoulders, knees and toes” as a kiddie song. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/83 "2017-08-31T19:08:29Z")
“Have fun NOW! You’ll be a long time dead!” (From an Aussie, of course!) And, “You can’t push a rope, dear.” (From my Gran, after complaining of an uncooperative husband.) ---
**Author:** ![Gladys\_Overnow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Gladys\_Overnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gladys_Overnow)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/84 "2017-08-31T20:31:50Z")
A tired dog is a good dog. And Be nice to the janitor. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/85 "2017-08-31T21:08:45Z")
“Hey! How about you worry about [**kaylasdad99**]?” – my dad, any time I complained that one of my siblings was getting better parental treatment than I thought he or she deserved. ---
**Author:** ![Santelia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Santelia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santelia)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/86 "2017-08-31T21:11:02Z")
“Don’t be such a c\*nt” ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/87 "2017-08-31T21:51:58Z")
Best bit of advice I ever got was from my attending, a pediatric neurosurgeon, during my residency rotation through the local Children’s hospital. A bit tired and cranky, I made an unmerited, flip comment about ancillary staff. His reply: “Qaddie, nobody likes a smartass”. And from my old man: “Be good to yourself, you deserve it!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/88 "2017-08-31T22:45:36Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > “Don’t be stupid, get a dishwasher.” A cleaning lady is cheaper than a divorce. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/89 "2017-08-31T22:49:32Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > A cleaning lady is cheaper than a divorce. Sure, but it can be difficult to find a cleaning lady who is hot, single and willing to work in a French maid’s uniform. ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2017, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/90 "2017-08-31T23:45:03Z")
And then there was George Best ( the British soccer player): (Probably a paraphrase) I spent most of my money on booze and loose women. The rest I just wasted. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2017, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/91 "2017-09-01T01:41:02Z")
(me, wondering aloud nervously if the super tampon was right for me) A friend’s mother: oh, honey, they all fit. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2017, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/92 "2017-09-01T01:45:28Z")
“Just don’t.” Pithy advice, yes. Good advice, well… ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2017, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/93 "2017-09-01T03:42:28Z")
“Never trust a fart.” Advice for the farter. Because it might turn out not to be one. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2017, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/94 "2017-09-01T04:01:48Z")
Never change lanes on a bridge. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2017, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/95 "2017-09-01T05:29:13Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > So cyanocobalamin, hydroxocobalamin, methylcobalamin, adenosylcobalamin, cholecalciferol, tocopherols, tocotrienols and phylloquinone are out. > > But dog poop is ok. The advice wasn’t “eat everything you can pronounce.” That would be pithy yet really stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2017, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/96 "2017-09-01T05:37:03Z")
I’ve probably received a lot of pithy advice which I’ve forgotten. Something that I haven’t, was from a scraggly working class guy whom I ended up catching a ride with from central California to Portland when I was seventeen (long story). I was supposed to pay my share of the gas but I ran out of money buying food. So he kicked me out of the car and left me by the side of the road 20 miles from Portland. He leaned out the window as he drove off and said, “in the future, remember to keep the money straight.” I’ve remembered. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2017, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/97 "2017-09-01T09:54:09Z")
Protect your brain - don’t get pithed 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2017, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/98 "2017-09-01T11:23:03Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > …“Qaddie, nobody likes a smartass”. Dad used to say - almost always to me - “ya know why they don’t send donkeys to school?” mmm ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2017, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/99 "2017-09-01T19:35:06Z")
> [@Cub\_Mistress](#): > > (me, wondering aloud nervously if the super tampon was right for me) > A friend’s mother: oh, honey, they all fit. In Pennywise’s voice, right? They ALL fit down there. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2017, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067/100 "2017-09-01T20:04:40Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > The advice wasn’t “eat everything you can pronounce.” That would be pithy yet really stupid. Indeed. Cyanide is pronounceable. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pithiest-advice-you-ever-got/795067.md?page=6)