# The platonic "honey". **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 20, 2006, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417 "2006-04-20T02:38:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/1 "2006-04-20T02:38:00Z")
While watching _King of the Hill_ a couple of times I noticed that one of Hank Hill’s co-workers called pretty much everybody “honey”. That reminds me that when I lived in Bakersfield there were several men who did the same. They were southerners, I think, but I’m not sure exactly where they were from. Could have been Texas. Everything else on that show about Texans is authentic. 😉 Is this usage common in your neck of the woods? If so, I’m cool with that. 😛 Peace, mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/2 "2006-04-20T02:46:45Z")
When I was accepted into female society as a woman, I found the socialization usually included adding little endearments liberally as tags after phrases, dear. I loved the woman-to-woman bonding. It was a pleasant habit to pick up. For a while I got so into the habit, dahling, that once I said “honey” to a butch, just in a friendly way. Whoops. She told me in no uncertain terms, “I am not your ‘honey’. I am not anyone’s ‘honey’.” Now I listen more carefully to the tone used in a given conversation to have a more accurate feel for the sociolinguistic register that’s appropriate to the situation. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/3 "2006-04-20T02:48:02Z")
In Australia, a lot of older people will call another stranger ‘love’, typically over a retail transacton (from either side). Men do it to women and girls, and women do it to anybody. When I was a kid, I swore I’d never do it, but now in my middle thirties, I do it sometimes. I live in a very multicultural city, but this does remain a white thing, I think. And yes, it’s casual. You’d hear it in a suburban hamburger shop rather than in a BMW dealership. ‘Honey’ can be used, but isn’t much. It’s a bit too intimate. I do notice some Australian message board users picking up the American ‘hon’. ---
**Author:** ![amarone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@amarone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarone)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/4 "2006-04-20T02:52:20Z")
> [@TheLoadedDog](#): > > In Australia, a lot of older people will call another stranger ‘love’, typically over a retail transacton (from either side). Ditto in Yorkshire, England. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/5 "2006-04-20T02:58:50Z")
Looking for opinions belongs in IMHO. Moved. **samclem** Moderator, General Questions ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/6 "2006-04-20T02:59:54Z")
But this is men using the term with other men. Usually, I think, with familiars. Women everywhere, as far as I know, use such terms casualy. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/7 "2006-04-20T03:00:09Z")
‘Honey’ is throughout the South - it used to be more prevalent. Jimmy Carter got in trouble in the first couple of months of his presidency when he addressed a reporter as “honey.” In my circles, we use “babe” to address close platonic female friends. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/8 "2006-04-20T03:11:30Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > Looking for opinions belongs in IMHO. > > Moved. > > **samclem** Moderator, General Questions Actually, samclem, I did post a question. No opinions called for. To wit; > [@](#): > > Is this usage common in your neck of the woods? So, Is it? mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/9 "2006-04-20T03:16:41Z")
> [@bup](#): > > ‘Honey’ is throughout the South - it used to be more prevalent. > > Jimmy Carter got in trouble in the first couple of months of his presidency when he addressed a reporter as “honey.” > > In my circles, we use “babe” to address close platonic female friends. Same here in South Berkeley. But we almost simulposted. I’m looking for male-male non sexual usage. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/10 "2006-04-20T03:19:36Z")
Babe, baby, sweetie, sweetheart, sweetie pie, love, honey, hon, dear, darling, girl, girlfriend, sugar, sugarcakes, honeycakes and my favorite, only for the special people I really _really_ care about… cinnamon buns ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/11 "2006-04-20T03:36:38Z")
> [@mangeorge](#): > > I’m looking for male-male non sexual usage. Are you saying that men were calling other men _honey_? Nope. Never heard of that. Around here, it’s ‘mate’ or nothing. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/12 "2006-04-20T08:09:36Z")
I’ve been called _baby_ by guys and I’ve called guys _baby_. I’ve never heard guys calling each other _honey_, though. ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/13 "2006-04-20T09:40:57Z")
I’ve never heard men calling other men honey in a platonic, non-ironic way. Teenage girls tend to use pet names for their peers. (I don’t, unless I don’t remember their actual name.) or for children (I do.) Grown women do too, but it tends to be more “sweetie” and “honey” than “babe.” and it tends to be directed more toward either younger women or the elderly and not so much toward peers or people ten years older or whatever I’ve heard men call girls and younger women “honey” or 'hon" just as a sort of, “ma’am who is younger than me” address, “sweetie” either as a familiar address or in a sort of ironically condescending way, and “baby” if they want something from you (be it a date or a quarter.) teenage boys use it platonically for female friends. Not as much for acquaintances, and certainly not platonically for other boys. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/14 "2006-04-20T10:28:58Z")
One of the Aussie (male) Doctors I’ve worked with calls every single male “tiger” and every female “darl”- no matter their age, or whether “tiger” or “darl” seem remotely applicable. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/15 "2006-04-20T11:52:08Z")
I had a biker friend who used to call me “doll.” I liked that one. I use all of 'em, but not until I get a vibe that it’s ok. ---
**Author:** ![Grossbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba8739/32.png) [@Grossbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grossbottom)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/16 "2006-04-20T12:31:46Z")
I know a doctor from Kentucky who calls everyone “babe” or “babes.” Men, women, doesn’t matter. Thanksgiving: “Get yourself some more of that turkey, babes.” ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/17 "2006-04-20T12:52:14Z")
I’ve been called honey, dear, babe, sweetie, etc. My only request is that if you want to use such terms with me, be at least as old as I am. There’s something weird about being called ‘hon’ by a 16-year-old girl. Otherwise I’m pretty cool with it. ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/18 "2006-04-20T12:55:05Z")
Sorry for the double, but while I don’t use such terms myself, where I grew up there is one which is common–‘son’. Everyone called everyone else ‘son’. Male, female, old, young, doesn’t matter. You’re ‘son’. Or occasionally ‘sonny-bub’. ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/19 "2006-04-20T12:55:30Z")
I was really hoping to find out whether Platonic honey was amorphous or hexagonal. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417/20 "2006-04-20T13:02:54Z")
The only example I know of male-male “honey” is in the novel _At Play in the Fields of the Lord_ by Peter Matthiessen. A man’s little boy gets sick, and when he notices this he says “You wet your bed, honey.” I noticed how unusual it seemed when used from one male to another, and I thought it must have been because a sick child gets extra endearment and tenderness. That line was included in the movie too. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-platonic-honey/353417.md?page=2)