Grrr. I have defended myself on this many, many times (not here on the board, mostly IRL). There is no way, no way, NO WAY I would expose my children to something I believe would harm them. Just like a two-parent family. Just like a single parent. Just like a divorced or widowed parent. My children are loved and cared for by everyone who knows them. Every person I have allowed into the lives of my children I would have trusted with my very life. I am one of the most (over)protective parents I know, besides my husband. My children have never been in day care (not that there’s anything wrong with that!) or left with a paid babysitter. I am not a negligent parent. My kids eat broccoli. I am, if I do say so myself, a damn good mother.
I just happen to subscribe to a different philosophy regarding romantic love than most.
Forgive me if I seem a little on the defensive. This topic seems to do that to me. I know I’m a good parent, and that isn’t changed by whom I sleep with. It irritates the hell out of me when people say something like “Do whatever you want, but when there are children involved…” Thanks. When MY children are involved, I’ll decide what’s best for them. You worry about your kids, I’ll worry about mine. For Stoid or anyone else to say I should “eschew” polyamory until my kids move out and then spring it on them when they come home from college at Christmas is ludicrous. My kids are too young to know anything about anyone’s sex life right now. I am aware that’s a condition they will grow out of. However, as I said before, they don’t see me have sex with their dad - how the hell are they gonna know who I’m having sex with, period?
Polyamory is a lifestyle choice that is not for everyone. Neither, it seems, is monogamy. One of my poly friends likes to say that “Monogamy has failed millions of times more than polygamy.” I realize she’s only joking, but it seems to be that in the poly relationships I’ve been involved in, and even those my friends have been involved in, that even when a breakup occurs it’s not as “heated” as a traditional breakup. Maybe it’s because someone else is there, sort of a supervision thing. Maybe it’s because with an increased number of variables, at least one will have a cooler head. I don’t know - but in my personal experience this has been the case.
In my opinion, polygamy should be legalized. So should a lot of other things, but I guess we have to pick our battles.