# The Poetry of Donald J. Trump -- Special Felony Conviction Edition **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [May 31, 2024, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-felony-conviction-edition/1002347 "2024-05-31T18:41:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2024, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-felony-conviction-edition/1002347/1 "2024-05-31T18:41:23Z")
Trump produced a thirty minute screed in his typical stream-of-consciousness word-association mode. There’s no way I’m reproducing that whole thing, even to re-format it into a blank verse poem. But I’d feel guilty if I didn’t offer some of it.- Here it is _We just uh went through one of many experiences_ _Where we had a conflicted judge_ _Highly conflicted._ _There’s never been a more conflicted judge_ _Now, I’m under a gag order_ _Which nobody’s ever been under_ _No presidential candidates._ _Ever been under a gag order before_ _I’m under a gag order._ _Nasty gag order_ _Where I’ve had to pay thousands of dollars_ _In penalties_ _And fines_ _And was threatened with jail._ _Think of it._ _I’m the leading candidate,_ _I’m leading Biden_ _By a lot and_ _I’m leading the Republicans_ _To the point where that’s over._ _So I’m the leading person for president_ _And I am under a gag order_ _By a man that can’t put two sentences together_ _Given by a court_ _And they are in total conjunction_ _With the White House and the DOJ._ _Just so you understand,_ _This is all done by Biden_ _And his people._ > **[Trump Speaks in New York Following Felony Convictions](https://uk.news.yahoo.com/trump-speaks-york-following-felony-180838587.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAADmu0q9g7vnr5Ut4BqvbSyQ1Zrxxv5m4nz8t8KBgxUoiI7SXHuuADlAJCpx87NAj-d6_OzzQwMDxH1siRMSDFXSWKSgNUSacRXqRVcyerQe5d1RNfjz_u8Og_kce3ohe3NZXuyc2-p_3HwsF1uDQGdYI_d9jWXr91CRmLjC-m3Lh)** > > Donald Trump gave remarks at Trump Tower in New York City on May 31, following the announcement of a guilty verdict in his hush money trial the previous day.Trump was convicted of 34 out of 34 felony charges in a New York court on Thursday, May 30.On... ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2024, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-felony-conviction-edition/1002347/2 "2024-05-31T18:49:18Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > a man that can’t put two sentences together It’s nice that in the midst of all that, he stopped for a moment of self-reflection. ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2024, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-felony-conviction-edition/1002347/3 "2024-05-31T19:01:44Z")
Maybe Trump can get the Nobel Prize in Literature since they wouldn’t give him the Peace Prize. So, unfair. And, the Emmys were rigged! ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2024, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-felony-conviction-edition/1002347/4 "2024-05-31T19:04:52Z")
I can so see that set to music. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2024, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-felony-conviction-edition/1002347/5 "2024-05-31T19:08:42Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Nasty gag order Because of hobbitses? ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2024, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-felony-conviction-edition/1002347/6 "2024-05-31T19:16:00Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Because of hobbitses? Nasty hobbitses! They stoles the precious election from us! ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2024, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-felony-conviction-edition/1002347/7 "2024-05-31T19:22:33Z")
“Total Conjunction with the DOJ” is my funk band. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2024, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-felony-conviction-edition/1002347/8 "2024-05-31T20:43:43Z")
Total conjunction, what’s your function? I got gag orders and rigged trials that make tan don sad Paying penalites AND fines Rigged by Biden OR Soros Out of one trial AND into another A convicted felon BUT I can still be president ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-felony-conviction-edition/1002347/9 "2024-06-11T11:19:20Z")
**Addendum: The Poetry of Donald J. Trump: Special Shark Electrocution Edition** At a campaign rally in Las Vegas on June 9 2024, Trump got weirder than normal So I said, ‘Let me ask you a question, And he said, ‘Nobody ever asked this question.’ And it must be because of MIT. My relationship to MIT. Very smart. He goes. I say, “What would happen If the boat sank from its weight? And you’re in the boat And you have this Tremendously powerful battery, And the battery is now underwater, And there’s a shark That’s approximately 10 yards Over there. By the way, A lot of shark attacks lately. You notice that? A lot of shark. I watch some guys Justifying it today. ‘Well, They weren’t really that angry. They bit off the young lady’s leg Because of the fact that they were— They were not hungry, But they misunderstood What- Who She was.’ These people are crazy. He said, ‘There’s no problem with sharks. They just didn’t really understand A young woman swimming. No Really got decimated And other people too, A lot of shark attacks,’ So I said, ‘So there’s a shark 10 yards away from the boat, 10 yards or here. Do I get electrocuted? If the boat is sinking, Water goes over the battery, The boat is sinking. Do I stay on top of the boat And get electrocuted? Or do I jump over by the shark And not get electrocuted?” Because I will tell you, He didn’t know the answer. He said, ‘You know, Nobody’s ever asked me that question.’ I said, ‘I think it’s a good question. I think there’s a lot of electric current Coming through that water.’ But you know what I’d do If there was a shark Or you get electrocuted? I’ll take electrocution every single time. I’m not getting near the shark! I think Trump has finally jumped that shark, myself. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-felony-conviction-edition/1002347/10 "2024-06-11T11:38:54Z")
> [@Trump via CalMeacham](#): > > By a man that can’t put two sentences together I believe that he’s soon going to find that he can, in fact, put 34 sentences together. It remains to be seen whether they’re put together in parallel or in series. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-felony-conviction-edition/1002347/11 "2024-06-11T13:54:26Z")
> **[The Lady or the Tiger, Donald's Battery or the Shark](https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/6/10/2245803/-The-Lady-or-the-Tiger-Donald-s-Battery-or-the-Shark?utm_campaign=recent)** > > Shark Week is coming and Stormy Daniels has mentioned in 2011 Trump’s fascination for not only that week but the cruel shark attacks past and present. His failure to be cast as a POTUS in one of the Sharknado movies likely remains a subtext. Now... I missed it, but apparently Trump made this speech about preferring electrocution by an electric boat battery to being eaten by a shark several months ago. So we can’t blame it all on 100+ degree noontime Vegas heat: > **[Trump says he would prefer to die by electrocution in bizarre campaign rant](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/oct/02/donald-trump-electrocution-campaign-event-iowa)** > > Former president and frontrunner for the 2024 Republican nomination delivered the odd remarks during a speech in Iowa ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2024, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-felony-conviction-edition/1002347/12 "2024-06-11T20:49:29Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > I can so see that set to music. It does have sort of a William Finn vibe, à la “I’m Breaking Down” from _Falsettos_.