# The Poetry of Donald J. Trump -- Special Fruit Assault Edition **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [April 29, 2022, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673 "2022-04-29T13:26:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/1 "2022-04-29T13:26:54Z")
Trump Deposition New York, NY October 18, 2021 _Lawyer: “Knock the crap out of them, would you?” That was your statement?’_ Oh, yeah It was very dangerous We were threatened _Lawyer: With what?_ They were going to throw Fruit We were threatened We had a threat. _Lawyer: How did you become aware that there was a threat that people were going to throw fruit?_ We were told And you get hit by fruit, it’s… No It’s very violent stuff. We were on alert for that. _Lawyer: A tomato is a fruit, I guess. It has seeds._ It’s worse than a tomato It’s other things also But tomato, When they start doing that stuff It’s very dangerous. It’s very dangerous stuff You can get killed with those things I wanted to have people be ready Because we were put on alert That they were going to do fruit. And some fruit is a lot worse than… Tomatoes are bad, by the way. But it’s very dangerous. No I wanted them to watch They were on alert They were going to hit They were going to hit hard. _Lawyer: Do you have any knowledge as to whether or not anyone was found to have tomatoes in their possession on that date?_ I don’t know But it didn’t happen It worked out that nothing happened We heard it was going to happen But nothing happened. _Lawyer: Mr. President, Is it your expectation that if your security guards see someone about to throw a tomato that they should knock the crap out of them?_ Well, A Tomato A Pineapple A lot of other things they throw… They have to be aggressive in stopping that from happening Because if that happens You can be killed if that happens _Lawyer: And getting aggressive includes the use of physical force?_ To stop someone From throwing Pineapples Tomatoes Bananas Stuff like that Yeah It’s dangerous stuff _Lawyer: I have no further questions._ ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/2 "2022-04-29T18:51:21Z")
And the verdict of the Turing Test: not human. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/3 "2022-04-29T19:46:24Z")
I think all of us remember where we were when we heard those haunting words. “Incoming!” splat splat splat “All units, POTUS has been tomatoed! I repeat, POTUS has been tomatoed!” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/4 "2022-04-29T20:00:34Z")
Why does the President say dumb things like that? Has he had very little experience having conversations with people rather than giving them directions? Does he really believe you can be killed as a result of fruit thrown at you? ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/5 "2022-04-29T20:24:11Z")
He’s not the president. Thank god. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/6 "2022-04-29T20:34:34Z")
Am I being whooshed? This conversation is satire, right? It did not happen, did it? ---
**Author:** ![Chad\_Sudan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chad_sudan/32/4509_2.png) [@Chad\_Sudan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chad_Sudan)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/7 "2022-04-29T20:39:34Z")
This Is Just To Say I have pelted the president with the plums that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast Forgive me ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/8 "2022-04-29T20:40:02Z")
> [@Pardel-Lux](#): > > Am I being whooshed? This conversation is satire, right? Sadly, no. > [@Pardel-Lux](#): > > It did not happen, did it? Sadly, yes. [https://www.businessinsider.in/politics/world/news/donald-trump-worried-dangerous-fruits-could-be-thrown-at-him-by-protesters-a-new-deposition-reveals-/articleshow/91133147.cms](https://www.businessinsider.in/politics/world/news/donald-trump-worried-dangerous-fruits-could-be-thrown-at-him-by-protesters-a-new-deposition-reveals-/articleshow/91133147.cms) ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/9 "2022-04-29T20:44:13Z")
Jeeeezz… did nobody teach him [self-defense against fresh fruit](https://python.mzonline.com/sketches/freshfruit/)? ---
**Author:** ![irae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f0a364/32.png) [@irae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irae)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/10 "2022-04-29T20:53:01Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Why does the President say dumb things like that? Has he had very little experience having conversations with people rather than giving them directions? Does he really believe you can be killed as a result of fruit thrown at you? President\*\* - impeached \*\* twice That is all ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/11 "2022-04-29T21:03:00Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Why does the President say dumb things like that? Has he had very little experience having conversations with people rather than giving them directions? Does he really believe you can be killed as a result of fruit thrown at you? Former President, my apologies. But is he truly that dumb? Does he believe that everyone is like a prospective real estate buyer, and will believe him? ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/12 "2022-04-29T21:09:44Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > But is he truly that dumb? Well, he is a self-described “Stable Genius”. Not many people self-describe that way. Draw your own conclusions. Though actually, he can now be described as “a stable genius with a well-developed protective sense of self-preservation against attacks by fresh fruit”. But there are worse horrors in the world than fresh fruit. Needless to say, when looking for movie reviews, one site that the Orange Peril avoids like Dracula avoiding high noon and has never, ever visited and never will, is _Rotten Tomatoes .com_ ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/13 "2022-04-29T21:13:36Z")
Speaking for the most part to servants and employees, I wonder if he thinks people will believe anything he says. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/14 "2022-04-29T21:14:46Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I wonder if he thinks people will believe anything he says. When you’re a bullshitter, it matters not if people believe your bullshit. What matters is that they ACT on your bullshit, and do what you want. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/15 "2022-04-29T21:19:03Z")
Courts may not act in the manner he expects. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2022, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/16 "2022-04-29T21:21:10Z")
> [@irae](#): > > President\*\* > > - impeached > \*\* twice Peaches are fruit, are they not? ---
**Author:** ![SingleMalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/singlemalt/32/3961_2.png) [@SingleMalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SingleMalt)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2022, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/17 "2022-04-30T16:08:51Z")
My favorite part was when the lawyer interjected to point out that tomatoes are fruits, too, because they have seeds. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2022, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/18 "2022-05-21T11:36:42Z")
A prune isn’t really a vegetable. Cabbage is a vegetable. ---
**Author:** ![Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mundane_super_hero/32/6304_2.png) [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2022, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/19 "2022-05-21T13:32:01Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > Cabbage is a vegetable. …and, in the case of Duh-Donald, it’s also a former president. ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2022, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-j-trump-special-fruit-assault-edition/963673/20 "2022-06-07T16:00:03Z")
Some people don’t go for prunes.