# The Poetry of Donald Trump: Special Mystery Edition **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [July 31, 2026, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065 "2026-07-31T20:51:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2026, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/1 "2026-07-31T20:51:18Z")
Our nation’s poet has offered us another glimpse of his special genius. But this time we’re having a mystery contest. Read the following poem (the transcript of an actual Trump public statement) and try to guess what Trump is talking about. > What have we got? > It’s going to be so efficient > Right now > it’s totally inefficient > Between the trams and the Star War thing > They call it the Star Wars > And elevated buses > Nobody knows what’s going on > It’s a real mess > And as you know > United is subjected to it > It doesn’t help United very much > He’s been very much involved > With what we’ve done Can’t figure it out? Well here’s a bonus clue. Another passage from the same public statement. (Warning: This bonus clue will make the mystery more confusing.) > Grass is like human beings > Grass is a life also > And we’re changing > We’re raking > cleaning > and changing > all of the parks > We don’t have people ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2026, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/2 "2026-07-31T23:31:30Z")
My guess is BRAINlessMAN is talking about Washington Dulles International Airport, specifically the billions of dollars he wants to spend on it before renaming it. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2026, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/3 "2026-07-31T23:36:58Z")
The first quote definitely sounds like an airport, but the second, no clue. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/4 "2026-08-01T00:52:19Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > My guess is BRAINlessMAN is talking about Washington Dulles International Airport, specifically the billions of dollars he wants to spend on it before renaming it. Which raises the question of which aspect of Dulles is referred to as “the Star Wars”. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/5 "2026-08-01T03:40:49Z")
I saw this whole clip on Bluesky. No one there had any explanation about “the Star Wars”. Dotard hasn’t seen the movie anyway, so can’t wait to find out. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/6 "2026-08-01T03:44:39Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > No one there had any explanation about “the Star Wars”. If it’s what I think it is, he definitely shouldn’t be discussing it in public. I’m guessing there is a panicked review going on about what can be safely shared with POTUS. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/7 "2026-08-01T04:09:55Z")
You mean the Reagan-era Star Wars defense plan? That’s all I can think of. I wouldn’t be surprised if it were a rehab facility for all those that lost cats& dogs by being eaten in Michigan, back in 2024. 😂 ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/8 "2026-08-01T04:37:30Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > If it’s what I think it is, he definitely shouldn’t be discussing it in public. > [@Locrian](#): > > You mean the Reagan-era Star Wars defense plan? That’s all I can think of. No. And no I will not now discuss it in public. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/9 "2026-08-01T04:54:10Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Which raises the question of which aspect of Dulles is referred to as “the Star Wars”. Apparently it’s part of the transportation system. There are vehicles that carry people around between different parts of the airport. [![](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRRDvNsfF9Cbf11qpXkKqevYWzTn7Ik0ElJ8NqNgcd8ew&s) ](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRRDvNsfF9Cbf11qpXkKqevYWzTn7Ik0ElJ8NqNgcd8ew&s) Supposedly some people feel they resemble the sand crawlers in _Star Wars_. [![](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRSyd1ON7T4BZdYto52yJckbbHE-O8tR39GX_djJNhl3g&s=10) ](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRSyd1ON7T4BZdYto52yJckbbHE-O8tR39GX_djJNhl3g&s=10) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/10 "2026-08-01T04:57:31Z")
Alternatively: > [@TruCelt](#): > > > [@Locrian](#): > > > > No one there had any explanation about “the Star Wars”. > > If it’s what I think it is, he definitely shouldn’t be discussing it in public. I’m guessing there is a panicked review going on about what can be safely shared with POTUS. Trump recently found out that all of the people he doesn’t like live on some planet called Earth. So now he wants to blow up that planet just like he saw that guy do in _Star Wars_. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/11 "2026-08-01T05:01:31Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Apparently it’s part of the transportation system He could also be referring to the Udvar-Hazy Center, I suppose. They do a lot of Star Wars themed stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/12 "2026-08-01T05:05:36Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > Dotard hasn’t seen the movie anyway, so can’t wait to find out. During his first term he gave an interview on AF1 while Rogue One was playing on a TV in the background. [https://www.washingtonpost.com/video/politics/trump-says-hes-had-successful-13-weeks-in-office-its-been-11-weeks/2017/04/06/411590d4-1b04-11e7-8598-9a99da559f9e\_video.html](https://www.washingtonpost.com/video/politics/trump-says-hes-had-successful-13-weeks-in-office-its-been-11-weeks/2017/04/06/411590d4-1b04-11e7-8598-9a99da559f9e_video.html) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/13 "2026-08-01T05:13:26Z")
Finding out how to make the tv work was one of the major triumphs of Trump’s first eleven and/or thirteen weeks in office. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/14 "2026-08-01T12:53:34Z")
His streams of unconsciousness always remind me of the last delirious words of Dutch Schultz. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2026, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-mystery-edition/1032065/15 "2026-09-07T23:31:18Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Trump recently found out that all of the people he doesn’t like live on some planet called Earth. So now he wants to blow up that planet just like he saw that guy do in _Star Wars_. …and one month later Trump posts this picture. [![](https://truth-archive.us-iad-1.linodeobjects.com/attachments/18022/071bf07642e3d57e-3c4f2d77b65d.jpg) ](https://truth-archive.us-iad-1.linodeobjects.com/attachments/18022/071bf07642e3d57e-3c4f2d77b65d.jpg) It’s hard for satire to stay ahead of this administration.