# The Poetry of Donald Trump: Special Ozempic Edition **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [September 5, 2026, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-ozempic-edition/1032834 "2026-09-05T03:50:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2026, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-ozempic-edition/1032834/1 "2026-09-05T03:50:11Z")
Our nation’s poet has offered us another glimpse of his special genius. His theme this time is friendship. > A friend of mine > Very, very heavy > He’s a very obese person > I said, > “You’re an extremely obese person” > He’s smart as hell > But he’s got a very serious weight problem. > > And he called me up > And he’s from New York > He’s one of the top guys on Wall Street > He’s begging me > Cuz I’ve told this story a couple of times > Not to mention his name > Cuz I’ll destroy his reputation > But he’s tough as hell > And he’s smart > Vicious > Wild > > These are the people > We have to deal with > When you’re president > He used to call me “Donnie” > Now he calls me “President” > But he said, “You know, Mr. President > I was in London > And I paid $86 for Ozempic > And in New York > I pay $1,300 for the same thing > That’s a lot > That’s a big difference” > > I said, “Are you taking this stuff?” > “Yeah” > I said, “It’s not working > You look like shit.” ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2026, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-ozempic-edition/1032834/2 "2026-09-05T03:52:25Z")
With friends like this, who needs enemies. What an idiot. I bet his friend is John Barron. ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2026, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-ozempic-edition/1032834/3 "2026-09-05T04:00:22Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I said, “Are you taking this stuff?” > “Yeah” > I said, “It’s not working > You look like shit.” Trump is probably talking to himself here. There is a rumor that he is on an experimental drug called retatrutide (based on the FDA granting a single exception to a 79-year old patient, Trump’s age when this happened) and that isn’t just GLP-1, it’s a couple other miracle fat busters as well. A scientific study showed that all of the patients who took it lost at least 5% of their body weight while on the drug. But Trump has gotten bigger, as is obvious from recent photos. This could be because he is wearing some equipment for dealing with kidney problems or it could be an exoskeleton for helping him move but he’s still bloated all to hell regardless. I am really looking forward to the tell-all books that are going to come out about five minutes after he finally fucking dies. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2026, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-ozempic-edition/1032834/4 "2026-09-05T04:06:06Z")
I pay $61 a month for my GLP-1s. Donald should explain to his “friend” that there’s such a thing as health insurance in this country so that you don’t have to pay the full out-of-pocket price for prescriptions. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2026, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-ozempic-edition/1032834/5 "2026-09-05T04:07:53Z")
> [@DWMarch](#): > > I am really looking forward to the tell-all books that are going to come out about five minutes after he finally fucking dies. I’m not. I’m so far beyond that now. I just want him gone and forgotten, and as much of the idiocy reversed as possible. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2026, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-ozempic-edition/1032834/6 "2026-09-05T04:23:21Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > I pay $61 a month for my GLP-1s. Donald should explain to his “friend” that there’s such a thing as health insurance in this country so that you don’t have to pay the full out-of-pocket price for prescriptions Congrats. My daughter is on one of the state plans and has to pay full price. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2026, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-ozempic-edition/1032834/7 "2026-09-05T14:21:24Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I’m not. I’m so far beyond that now. I just want him gone and forgotten, and as much of the idiocy reversed as possible. No, I don’t think we should “move on” again. We’ve tried that with past corrupt administrations and all it seems to have accomplished is encouraging the next one. The crooks see you can commit crimes while you’re in power and then when you eventually fall the country wants to “move on” so you don’t get punished and get to keep whatever you managed to steal. If we had locked up the crooks in the Bush administration, we wouldn’t have the Trump administration. And if we had locked up the crooks in the Reagan administration, we wouldn’t have had the Bush administration. And if we had locked up the crooks in the Nixon administration, we wouldn’t have had the Reagan administration. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2026, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-ozempic-edition/1032834/8 "2026-09-05T22:58:50Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > I pay $61 a month for my GLP-1s. Donald should explain to his “friend” that there’s such a thing as health insurance in this country so that you don’t have to pay the full out-of-pocket price for prescriptions. It’s not covered by many insurances. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2026, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-ozempic-edition/1032834/9 "2026-09-05T23:44:05Z")
Anyone who hangs out with Donald Trump and regularly travels internationally can afford a plan that does. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2026, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-ozempic-edition/1032834/10 "2026-09-06T03:27:42Z")
> [@DWMarch](#): > > Trump is probably talking to himself here. There is a rumor that he is on an experimental drug called retatrutide (based on the FDA granting a single exception to a 79-year old patient, Trump’s age when this happened) and that isn’t just GLP-1, it’s a couple other miracle fat busters as well. A scientific study showed that all of the patients who took it lost at least 5% of their body weight while on the drug. But Trump has gotten bigger, as is obvious from recent photos. This could be because he is wearing some equipment for dealing with kidney problems or it could be an exoskeleton for helping him move but he’s still bloated all to hell regardless. I am really looking forward to the tell-all books that are going to come out about five minutes after he finally fucking dies. The theory (hope, at least) is that trump is on retatrutide because he has kidney and heart failure, and weight loss can help. But its not working, he is getting bigger and bigger. Of course the drugs don’t work if you eat fast food all day. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Jq5MyC0NaY4/maxresdefault.jpg "HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE!?") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jq5MyC0NaY4)