# The Poetry of Donald Trump - Special Victory in Iran edition **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [April 7, 2026, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-victory-in-iran-edition/1029080 "2026-04-07T00:40:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2026, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-victory-in-iran-edition/1029080/1 "2026-04-07T00:40:10Z")
Our nation’s poet has offered this series on his war with Iran. > We won the war. > We defeated Iran. > We must attack Iran. > The war is ending almost completely, and very beautifully. > You never like to say too ⁠early you won. We won. In ​the first hour it was over. > We did win, but we haven’t won completely yet. > We won the war. > Please help us. > If you don’t help us, I will certainly remember it. > Actually, we don’t need any help at all. > I was just testing to see who’s listening to me. > If NATO doesn’t help, they will suffer something very bad. > We neither need nor want NATO’s help. > I don’t need Congressional approval to withdraw from NATO. > Our allies must cooperate in reopening the Strait of Hormuz. > US allies need to get a grip - step up and help open the Strait of Hormuz. > NATO are cowards. > The Strait of Hormuz must be protected by the countries that use it. We don’t use it, we don’t need to open it. > This is the last time. I will give Iran 48 hours. Open the strait. > Iran is Dead. > We had very good and productive talks with Iran. > We’re making progress. > They gave us a present and the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize. > Make a deal, or we’ll just keep blowing them away. > We don’t have to be there for NATO. > Open the Strait of Hormuz immediately, or face devastating consequences. > We’ll see what happens very soon. > Something big is going to happen. > Open the fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. I will note that unlike the usual “poems” which are passages from a single speech, these are a series of Trump quotes from March 11 to April 5. ---
**Author:** ![Coriolanus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coriolanus/32/18769_2.png) [@Coriolanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coriolanus)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2026, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-victory-in-iran-edition/1029080/2 "2026-04-07T02:12:34Z")
> We can bomb the hell out of them. We can knock them out for a loop. But to close the Strait, all you need is one terrorist that somehow has a truck loaded eta > the entire country could be taken out in one night and that night might be tomorrow night ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2026, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-victory-in-iran-edition/1029080/3 "2026-04-07T02:25:31Z")
Iran haiku: _Open the fuckin’ Strait Like I said, some people will die you crazy bastards_ ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2026, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-victory-in-iran-edition/1029080/4 "2026-04-07T11:52:25Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I will note that unlike the usual “poems” which are passages from a single speech, these are a series of Trump quotes from March 11 to April 5. Interesting, but it lacks that stream-of-consciousness unity that only comes from his extemporizing without a teleprompter. Just like the way you can’t get the same kind of poetry by stringing together several of his tweets (or xits) ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2026, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-victory-in-iran-edition/1029080/5 "2026-04-07T12:30:18Z")
The title should be " The _Demented Ramblings_ of Donald Trump - Special Victory in Iran edition". I have to say, i never in a million years thought I’d have any nostalgia for the first trump term, but compared to this term, at least the first time he _said_ a lot of crazy shit but he didn’t really _do_ much of anything. This is really getting scary. And we’re still 7 months away from the midterms. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2026, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-victory-in-iran-edition/1029080/6 "2026-04-07T14:46:32Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Interesting, but it lacks that stream-of-consciousness unity that only comes from his extemporizing without a teleprompter. Just like the way you can’t get the same kind of poetry by stringing together several of his tweets (or xits) I’ll admit when I saw the list of quotes, my original plan was to just post the list in a pit thread. But then I decided to use the poetry format. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2026, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-victory-in-iran-edition/1029080/7 "2026-04-11T01:21:06Z")
Our nation’s poet issued another work in this genre. > The Strait will open up automatically. > We’ll open the Strait anyway. > We don’t use the Strait. > It won’t be easy. > We will have that open fairly soon. > You don’t need a backup plan. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2026, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-victory-in-iran-edition/1029080/8 "2026-04-11T16:15:51Z")
What was it he said about children delivering messages in lieu of electronic communications? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2026, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-victory-in-iran-edition/1029080/9 "2026-04-11T16:55:21Z")
“They have no method of communication. So we’re doing, we’re communicating like they used to communicate two thousand years ago, with children bringing a note back and forth.” ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2026, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poetry-of-donald-trump-special-victory-in-iran-edition/1029080/10 "2026-04-11T18:18:30Z")
Sometimes these verses of his give me a twinge of anticipation because they remind me of the [last words of Dutch Schultz](https://www.fourmilab.ch/documents/dutch_schultz/).