# The poop fairy has forsaken me...(TMI) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 2, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097 "2005-05-02T18:43:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/1 "2005-05-02T18:43:16Z")
A couple of months ago, I was healthy with normal (for me) poops, every couple of days. Then I started working out and drinking protien shakes, and I was pooping everyday like a real person! Then I came down with a sinus infection/bronchitis combo and had to give up the shakes, (milk based drinks + bronchitis = bad idea). Plus, I wasn’t eating very much since it was impossible to breath while chewing, and the sinus infection was filling my stomach with other things, so who needs food! After I recovered, I had lost several pounds, so I started trying to eat bigger meals with more meat. Before that, I would eat meat about three times a week, I just don’t care for it and only have it when I fix a meal for my husband. Also, I needed to get my strength up for an upcomming surgery. MONSTER POOPS!!! There were a couple of times, I thought I was giving my son the baby brother he always wanted. I did NOT want any monster poops shortly after having surgery. So, the week before, I was real careful about what I ate. Almost no fruit and vegies, very little fiber, smaller portions and less meaty meals. And it worked! Then a few days after the surgery, I realized that the pain I was having was not surgery related. So, I took a laxative. BTW when the box says _“works overnight, to give you gentle results in the morning.”_ I thought “in the morning” meant after you’ve gotten up for the day, not at 4:30 a.m.! And what’s this “gentle” business? Gentle, compared to what?!?! I’m still recovering from surgery, it was lastweek. But I’m eating normal and getting a little worried. It’s been 2 days since the laxative episode. I think the poop fairy is fed up with me. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/2 "2005-05-02T20:08:23Z")
(cough) well, thanks for sharing. (looks frantically around the room) oh, look, a shiny thing! ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/3 "2005-05-02T20:19:13Z")
Maybe I should’ve started a thread about my cat’s pooping habits. Y’all eat that shit up! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/4 "2005-05-02T20:19:41Z")
Here, let the nurse help. Well, obviously, you have been petitioning the wrong Pagan entity. Poop and fairies? Where did you go to school? (ok, so that wasn’t very therapeutic; I’ll try again). **hillbilly queen** (and may I say that for this topic, no moniker is more appropriate)–you need to expiate the poop gnome, if not the dwarf. Just think of them down there, mining away. Blasting thru miles of small intestine to finally achieve the Great Cavern that is the colon. There the poop gnomes wait (ignominiously, of course) until they are called. IMO, the problem is either that you are not calling them correctly or not loudly enough. Time for some stern measures to get these poop gnomes in line. 1. give 'em a bath–tis dirty in your colon! The gnomes need water, better yet, fruit juice, especially prune juice. Make a cocktail of 7-up and ice cold prune juice and have a ball. 2. make 'em work! They’re sitting down there where the living is easy. Give 'em some fiber to use those pickaxes on. Do 'em good, the lazy bastards. 3. Answer the call. You are calling them and yet, they are calling to you. (I am envisioning a version of Jeanetter MacDonald and Nelson Eddy here)–if you hear your name, from across a crowded room, go where it is quiet and you can really hear the voices. By all means, keep the results to yourself. \ ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/5 "2005-05-02T20:20:35Z")
Here, let the nurse help. Well, obviously, you have been petitioning the wrong Pagan entity. Poop and fairies? Where did you go to school? (ok, so that wasn’t very therapeutic; I’ll try again). **hillbilly queen** (and may I say that for this topic, no moniker is more appropriate)–you need to expiate the poop gnome, if not the dwarf. Just think of them down there, mining away. Blasting thru miles of small intestine to finally achieve the Great Cavern that is the colon. There the poop gnomes wait (ignominiously, of course) until they are called. IMO, the problem is either that you are not calling them correctly or not loudly enough. Time for some stern measures to get these poop gnomes in line. 1. give 'em a bath–tis dirty in your colon! The gnomes need water, better yet, fruit juice, especially prune juice. Make a cocktail of 7-up and ice cold prune juice and have a ball. 2. make 'em work! They’re sitting down there where the living is easy. Give 'em some fiber to use those pickaxes on. Do 'em good, the lazy bastards. 3. Answer the call. You are calling them and yet, they are calling to you. (I am envisioning a version of Jeanetter MacDonald and Nelson Eddy here)–if you hear your name, from across a crowded room, go where it is quiet and you can really hear the voices. By all means, keep the results to yourself. \ ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/6 "2005-05-02T20:26:59Z")
**eleanorigby** ’s post has been brought to you by the number two. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/7 "2005-05-02T20:28:07Z")
Wow. An echo chamber. That, alone, is worth the subscription. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/8 "2005-05-02T20:30:46Z")
😃 My computer crashed right as I tried to post that–so I wasn’t sure if it went thru. Hmmm. Now the problem seems to be diarrhea of posts. Maybe we have a case here of irritable computer syndrome. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/9 "2005-05-02T20:43:57Z")
Ewww! Women don’t poop! They are perfect porcelin statutes who have no need for such vulgar requirements! At least, that’s the impression I’ve gotten over a lifetime. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/10 "2005-05-02T21:03:03Z")
A friend of a friend of a co-worker’s step-daughter says that some pain meds can also slow stuff down. Things should get back to normal once you’re not using them anymore. If that’s the cause at least. Or so I understand… ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/11 "2005-05-02T21:53:35Z")
> [@Blalron](#): > > They are perfect porcelin statutes… It’s the law of the terlet, son. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/12 "2005-05-02T23:00:33Z")
Two words: Castor Oil. > [@](#): > > **Professor Farnsworth** : If we can stimulate that nerve, the bowel will convulse, expelling the entire worm society. > **Hermes** : But what about the worms in the other parts of his body? > **Professor Farnsworth** : Listen, this is gonna be one hell of a bowel movement. Afterwards he’ll be lucky if he has any bones left. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/13 "2005-05-02T23:30:31Z")
> [@Blalron](#): > > Ewww! Women don’t poop! . I always thought it was “Women don’t _fart_!” according to the song. Tripler (It was an old Dr. Demento song. . .) ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/14 "2005-05-03T00:02:10Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > Maybe I should’ve started a thread about my cat’s pooping habits. Y’all eat that shit up! 😃 So dopers will eat cat scat but not people poop? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/15 "2005-05-03T00:14:42Z")
I’ve always been a little leery about laxatives that claim to work overnight. Sounds like you take one, and when you wake up, you have a much longer shower ahead of you. Not to mention more laundry than you had planned to do that day. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/16 "2005-05-03T03:52:31Z")
Actually I was relieved by the OP. The thread title had me worried what hillbilly queen might have been leaving under her pillow each night. ---
**Author:** ![Ink\_a\_dink\_a\_dink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ec9cab/32.png) [@Ink\_a\_dink\_a\_dink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ink_a_dink_a_dink)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/17 "2005-05-03T04:03:00Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Two words: > > Castor Oil. Um, where is your quote from? I love it. Inky ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/18 "2005-05-03T04:20:12Z")
Ewww, it smells like poo gas in here. The scottish term for that being “crud vapors,” o’ course. Anyone who knows what that references wins … wins … well, whatever is appropriate for a poop-related thread. I was going to say “wins a visit from the poop fairy” but that sounded kinda bad ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/19 "2005-05-03T11:48:01Z")
> [@Ink a dink a dink](#): > > Um, where is your quote from? I love it. > > Inky Futurama ---
**Author:** ![Fringe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b5a626/32.png) [@Fringe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fringe)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097/20 "2005-05-03T14:30:58Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > A friend of a friend of a co-worker’s step-daughter says that some pain meds can also slow stuff down. Things should get back to normal once you’re not using them anymore. If that’s the cause at least. Or so I understand… That is true from my experience. Whenever I’ve had to use pain medication, it slowed my system down. If you are on meds, that could very likely be the issue. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-poop-fairy-has-forsaken-me-tmi/302097.md?page=2)