# The Post Count Padding Party **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 9, 2000, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682 "2000-08-09T06:39:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Michi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@Michi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michi)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/161 "2000-08-11T00:58:17Z")
I have done almost nothing but sleep all day today. What a waste. I have to go in to work at midnight…::sigh:: I always fall behind on reading the board and miss the good stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Michi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@Michi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michi)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/162 "2000-08-11T01:05:40Z")
You’d think that for someone who has been around for as long as I have, I’d have a much higher post count. ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/163 "2000-08-11T01:20:05Z")
EVERY SPERM IS SACRED ``` Dad: There are Jews in the world, There are Buddhists There are Hindus and Mormons and then, There are those that follow Mohammed, But I've never been one of them... I'm a Roman Catholic And have been since before I was born, And the one thing they say about Catholics, They'll take you as soon as you're warm... You don't have to be a six-footer, You don't have to have a great brain, You don't have to have any clothes on- You're a Catholic the moment Dad came... Because... Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. Children: Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. Child: Let the heathens spill theirs, On the dusty ground, God will make them pay for, Each sperm that can't be found. Children: Every sperm is wanted, Every sperm is good, Every sperm is needed, In your neighbourhood. Mum: Hindu, Taoisst, Mormon, Spill theirs just anywhere, But god loves those who treat their Semen with more care. ``` Men Neighbours: Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, Women Neighbours: If a sperm is wasted Children: God gets quite irate ``` Priest: Every sperm is sacred, ``` Bride and Groom: Every sperm is good, Nannies: Every sperm is needed, Cardinals: In your neighbourhood ``` Children: Every sperm is useful, Every sperm is fine, ``` Funeral cortege: God need everybody’s, First mourner: Mine! Lady mourner: And mine! Corpse: And mine! ``` Nun: Let the pagans spill theirs, O'er mountain, hill, and plain, Statues: God shall strike them down for Each sperm that's spilt in vain. Everybody: Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is good, Every sperm is needed, In your neighbourhood. Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. ``` ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/164 "2000-08-11T01:22:08Z")
OK, nuff for now. If I still feel like post padding later, then I’ll add more. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/165 "2000-08-11T01:34:06Z")
if this thread stays active long enough, I will be at 500 in no time!! Michi, how much are you paying those new techs? ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/166 "2000-08-11T03:36:19Z")
NEVER BE RUDE TO AN ARAB Never be rude to an Arab, An Israeli, a Saudi, or a Jew, Never be rude to an Irishman, No matter what you do. Never poke fun at a Nigger, A Spik, or a Wop, or a Kraut, And never put down… (Explosion!) ---
**Author:** ![Amthystre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Amthystre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amthystre)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/167 "2000-08-11T07:31:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silo \* > \*\*\<---------------jumps in! \*\* [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![astrangefish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bbce88/32.png) [@astrangefish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astrangefish)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/168 "2000-08-11T09:52:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astrangefish \* > \*\*? \*\* Wooohoooo, my 100th post. And what a place to post it! Start as I mean to go on 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/169 "2000-08-11T12:09:03Z")
::yawn:: Silver\_Fire just went all the way through another sleepless night. ::sigh:: ---
**Author:** ![Phobos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Phobos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phobos)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/170 "2000-08-11T13:04:30Z")
Half-a-bee, philosophically, must ipso-facto, half not be. But half-a-bee is still a bee, vis-a-vis, its entity. You see? ---
**Author:** ![astrangefish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bbce88/32.png) [@astrangefish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astrangefish)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/171 "2000-08-11T13:07:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Phobos \* > Half-a-bee, philosophically, must ipso-facto, half not be. > But half-a-bee is still a bee, vis-a-vis, its entity. > You see? **No** ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/172 "2000-08-11T13:08:27Z")
A friend of mine sent me this. I thought it wa a great intro to a speech. “I’m very, very nervous about showing this,” Molyneux admits, three giant computer display screens looming behind him. In a medium that has become, in the years since he first entered it, a savagely competitive, multi-billion dollar industry, with budgets fast approaching those of feature films, his trepidation is understandable. As he ruefully quips to the assembled game developers – most of them, like the industry’s primary market, in their 20s or early 30s – “You all watch MTV, but MTV has destroyed your minds completely – [now] I have 10 seconds to impress you.” Hey! I found a new sig. ---
**Author:** ![Phobos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Phobos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phobos)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/173 "2000-08-11T13:20:42Z")
I keep forgetting to show my signature… ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/174 "2000-08-11T14:33:43Z")
You’re pretty cool hypergirl 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Qixotica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5fc32e/32.png) [@Qixotica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qixotica)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/175 "2000-08-11T15:28:18Z")
I wonder if I should pad my miniscule post count? ---
**Author:** ![Qixotica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5fc32e/32.png) [@Qixotica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qixotica)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/176 "2000-08-11T15:33:02Z")
The next one’s for you. ---
**Author:** ![Qixotica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5fc32e/32.png) [@Qixotica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qixotica)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/177 "2000-08-11T15:36:09Z")
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time; it’s detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time; I can leave it home when it think it’s gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out when I don’t need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning, I can’t, for the life of me, remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn’t find it , so I called up the place where the party was, they hadn’t seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet, 'cause for some reason, I leave it there sometimes, but not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate I really don’t like being without my penis for too long, It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then as I walked down Second Avenue, toward’s St. Mark’s Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven-some guy was selling it! I had to buy it off him. He wanted 22 bucks, but I talked him down to 17. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again: complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don’t know. Even though sometimes it’s a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/178 "2000-08-11T15:49:33Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Sunshine \* \*\*Are there no _Animal House_ fans out there? \ \ EAT ME 'Kay? ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/179 "2000-08-11T16:17:44Z")
I was woken up this morning by the cops raiding my neighbor’s house. I’m still waiting to see what happens, as the cops are still inside the house. We’ve had lots of problems with these people, as they’re drug dealers, and have even had the balls to deal on the side of our house, too (until we installed motion-detector lights). This is one of the times I’m rooting for the cops. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682/180 "2000-08-11T16:20:15Z")
[http://www.scarysquirrel.org](http://www.scarysquirrel.org) Check out Tufty’s death rock dirge. Cowboy was added at my request. I’m so proud. [http://www.20questions.net](http://www.20questions.net) this is an experiment designed to help increase a computer’s artificial intelligence. Amazing how often it can guess what you’re thinking. [http://www.thehomeoftelevisionlyrics.com](http://www.thehomeoftelevisionlyrics.com) just what it sounds like [http://www.cthonia.com](http://www.cthonia.com) to help you get in touch with your inner goddess [http://www.ericconveysanemotion.com](http://www.ericconveysanemotion.com) just what it sounds like [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-post-count-padding-party/28682.md?page=10)