# The postage stamp test for impotency **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 1, 2017, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724 "2017-02-01T03:17:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2017, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/21 "2017-02-01T18:36:15Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > In the 80s I made extra cash as a normal control (heh) at a sleep lab. > > The best paying studies involved wearing a mercury filled strain gauge around the base of my penis to detect “nocturnal penile tumescence”. In one such study, a tech came into the room to visually confirm each erection. For that night the pay was $350. For just-plain sleeping the pay was $80 a night. Was that a flat rate or per boner? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2017, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/22 "2017-02-01T18:45:04Z")
> [@74westy](#): > > Was that a flat rate or per boner? Flat rate. One night I had six erections during REM sleep. That meant six “awakenings” so the tech could look under my gown and use a tool to measure how “hard” I was. In one case a picture was taken (for scholarly purposes I was told). ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2017, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/23 "2017-02-01T20:04:52Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Do Viagra/Cialis even work if it’s a physical problem? (i.e. someone who fails the “stamp” test.) > > [Here’s a funny video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKFafViGnaY) with Johnny Carson & Charles Grodin discussing impotence, made even funnier since they weren’t allowed to say certain words on TV back then. Are YouTube ads statically assigned or random? The ad for this video is for Viagra. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2017, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/24 "2017-02-01T21:53:44Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Flat rate. > > One night I had six erections during REM sleep. That meant six “awakenings” so the tech could look under my gown and use a tool to measure how “hard” I was. In one case a picture was taken (for scholarly purposes I was told). Was the $350 all you could afford to pay? ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2017, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/25 "2017-02-01T21:58:40Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > Are YouTube ads statically assigned or random? The ad for this video is for Viagra. YouTube (and all other Google products, similar to Facebook and many other websites) serves you ads based on your recent internet activity, the content you’re currently watching, and so forth. It’s definitely not random. Companies can pay extra to have their ads be unskippable, or associated with certain content. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2017, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/26 "2017-02-01T22:26:32Z")
**Moderator Warning** This is an official warning to **Omar Little** for quote modification. > [@](#): > > > [@CookingWithGas](#): > > > > to have an orgasm > > > > \ > > > > in **bob++**'s mouth > > > [@Omar\_Little](#): > > > > Impotence isn’t your problem… Editing a quote in such a way that you substantially change its meaning is forbidden here. From the FAQ: [QUOTE] Falsely attributing a quote to another user, or modifying another’s post in order to cast him/her in a bad light, even if meant in jest, is grounds for revocation of your posting privileges. This does not apply to parodies to which no name is attached. Text inside [QUOTE] tags is sacrosanct. Normal editorial rules apply: that is, you may indicate omitted portions of a quote by the use of ellipses “…” and you may add text to clarify a word using square brackets (e.g., “her [the sister’s] friend”), but you may \*\*not \*\* add editorial comments or edit a quote so as to change the substantive meaning; nor may you substitute text such as “some blather” or “more nonsense” inside the > [@](#): > > tags. > **[FAQ - Rules for Posting at the Straight Dope Message Boards](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=384736)** > > This thread lists the Rules for posting on the SDMB. These are the Major Rules and the Important Ones: violations have serious consequences. First, be sure to read the Registration Agreement This post is basically a “table of contents” for this... ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2017, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/27 "2017-02-01T22:27:12Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Impotence isn’t your problem… **Moderator Note** **Omar Little** , it’s against the rules to alter text inside a quote box if that alters the meaning. Since your editing does, it’s not allowable. No warning issued, but don’t do this again. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/28 "2017-02-02T00:31:07Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Rather than bump [this ancient thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7012588#post7012588) thought I’d start a new one. > > Used to be, there was a common test for impotency in which you wrapped a roll of postage stamps around your Mr. Happy before bedtime, and in the morning, if the perforations were detached, it proved you had an erection overnight and therefore it wasn’t a physical problem. Two questions: > > (1) Are _any_ postage stamps made the old way, in a roll with perforations instead of a backing plastic that you unpeel? Because I sure haven’t seen any in years. > > (2) If not, what’s the substitute for the famous perforated postage stamp test? > (In case anyone’s wondering…don’t need answer fast.) 🙂 Aus doesn’t have coil stamps, and if it does, they aren’t used for that. You used to be able to get medically approved snap rings. ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/29 "2017-02-02T01:02:43Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > (2) If not, what’s the substitute for the famous perforated postage stamp test? > [@](#): > > **Overnight Erection Test** > Usually, men have 3 to 5 erections during the night as they sleep. Your doctor may use an overnight erection test to see whether you’re able to get an erection. > > For this test, you will place a device around your penis before you go to sleep. It measures how many erections you have and how strong they are. A simpler version of this test uses a special plastic ring around your penis. If you get an erection, the ring breaks. > > If the test shows that you can get erections, it’s more likely that the ED is caused by something mental or emotional. > **[What Tests Will a Urologist Do If I Have ED?](https://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/diagnosing-erectile-dysfunction?page=2)** > > If you have erectile dysfunction, your doctor has tests to help you find the right treatment. Learn about the different tests for ED and how they can help. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/30 "2017-02-02T01:13:35Z")
I used a paper towel tube. If the tube is shredded in the morning, we know everything’s working. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/31 "2017-02-02T01:26:29Z")
So with the male mail stamps, how do you get off, I mean get them off, when they have stuck to you because of the sweat or other fluids that may contact them and activate the adhesive? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/32 "2017-02-02T01:54:58Z")
Scrub thoroughly using soap and an in-and-out motion ? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/33 "2017-02-02T08:17:05Z")
Have someone lick off the adhesive. Of course, if that were done in the first place, you wouldn’t need the stamps. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/34 "2017-02-02T14:53:11Z")
> [@Ignatz](#): > > So with the male mail stamps, how do you get off, I mean get them off, when they have stuck to you because of the sweat or other fluids that may contact them and activate the adhesive? You could arrange them so the adhesive surface is on the outside of the loop instead of the inside. If the adhesive is on the inside, you could simply soak the whole thing in water until it’s soaked through, which should release the adhesive and/or allow the paper to disintegrate. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/35 "2017-02-02T17:50:09Z")
I’v heard a woman disparaged as “as selective as a mailbox” and I so want to work that into a funny. No joy. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/36 "2017-02-02T18:02:25Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I used a paper towel tube. If the tube is shredded in the morning, we know everything’s working. Same thing, but with a chain dog collar. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/37 "2017-02-02T18:03:54Z")
What’s/whose shredded with that? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/38 "2017-02-02T18:20:07Z")
I have an unused coil of 3,000 1¢ stamps, the kind that have to be licked. With the right marketing I could make a fortune. ---
**Author:** ![Francisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Francisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francisco)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/39 "2017-02-02T18:41:59Z")
I know what you mean Buddha, I find an old fashioned mouse trap works. One has to be careful when applying ones member to the cheese tray and naturally the sheet should be allowed to settle gracefully, on a cushion of air, so to speak. I admit sleep comes with great effort because it is important not to move, however, in the fullness of time you will drift off to the land of dreams, I would advise that you try to think of mundane matters, fishing, gardening etc. for once your mind drifts to topics of an erotic nature, Sh-t, f9ck. Agggh… yes, it actually works… ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724/40 "2017-02-02T19:21:21Z")
A serious answer: :eek: It is entirely possible for a man to have erections in his sleep and still be unable to achieve or maintain an erection while awake. I do not know why this is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-postage-stamp-test-for-impotency/778724.md?page=3)