# The Power of my small Penis **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 4, 2001, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845 "2001-04-04T23:31:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/21 "2001-04-06T00:00:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Medea’s Child \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > > \*\*15. I don’t have to worry about accidentally stabbing the mattress during sex and breaking my penis. > > \*\* > > Do matresses often break big penises? > How would you know Scylla? experianced before and after, maybe? > \*\* No, my penis has always been small. That way can have sex with small furry animals. The reason I know about the above was that I was doing this squirrel one time, it fell out, and I ended up ramming a tree. Got a splinter. ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/22 "2001-04-06T00:13:32Z")
Marmots are better, and you can take that to the BANK, Squirrel-boy! Anyway, since we’re on the subject of penis sizes, I must say that mine is only 1 inch long, but over 60 inches wide. So ladies, making love to me is like humping the top of a formica counter; you have been warned. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/23 "2001-04-06T00:21:14Z")
I so did not need to know about the violation of our woodland friends. I believed them desired for their warm coats, not their waorm, oh, ick, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/24 "2001-04-06T00:21:15Z")
I so did not need to know about the violation of our woodland friends. I believed them desired for their warm coats, not their waorm, oh, ick, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/25 "2001-04-06T00:32:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > The reason I know about the above was that I was doing this squirrel one time, it fell out, and I ended up ramming a tree. > > Got a splinter. > \*\* Dude…take it from an Eagle Scout…squirrel on TOP…they don’t do missionary very well. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/26 "2001-04-06T00:34:29Z")
Hey, Wabbit: is that diameter or circumference? ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/27 "2001-04-06T00:41:08Z")
Call me cockeyed 😉 but on several occasions I’ve slipped out and stabbed Mrs Kamandi’s perineum, to the sound of an loud “pop”, kind of like a knuckle cracking. Guess I’m a little more enthusiastic than accurate. Hurt like hell every time, but no apparent lasting effects. (Except now I piss around corners :D) And let me tell you boys, stabbing your lady’s perineum is a sure-fire way to cool off the romance in a hurry. The usual response is something like: “OW!! Can’t you **aim** that fucking thing?!?” ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/28 "2001-04-06T00:42:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nimune \* > \*\*Hey, Wabbit: is that diameter or circumference? \*\* That would be diameter AND circumference (don’t ask how–it’s new math). And yes, I freely admit to being a genetic mutant with a warped sense of humor… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![RocknRoll\_Killing\_Machine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5daacb/32.png) [@RocknRoll\_Killing\_Machine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RocknRoll_Killing_Machine)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/29 "2001-04-06T04:26:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*16. I can let small children sit in my lap without fear of embarassment. > \*\* Ahahah… shocking secrets revealed! ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/30 "2001-04-06T10:47:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lynn Bodoni \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > 1. It is much less likely to get ensnared in heavy machinery. > > Mr. Bodoni once, while a mere grade-schooler, zipped himself up without making sure to tuck it in first. This has left him Scarred for Life, or so he assures me. \*\* Mr. Fenris, as an allegedly sentient adult (though the following information will demonstrate that plankton is more sentient), also zipped himself up without it being entirely tucked in first, too. It didn’t leave Mr. Fenris scarred for life, but Mr. Fenris is now, very,VERY, **VERY** careful around zippers. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/31 "2001-04-06T14:21:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kamandi \* > Call me cockeyed 😉 but on several occasions I’ve slipped out and stabbed Mrs Kamandi’s perineum, The scientific term for perineum is “taint” Sua ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/32 "2001-04-06T14:47:17Z")
> [@](#): > > The scientific term for perineum is “taint” As in “It **taint** happenin’ unless you can figure out where to put that thing!” ? ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/33 "2001-04-06T15:01:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BunnyGirl \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > The scientific term for perineum is “taint” > > As in “It **taint** happenin’ unless you can figure out where to put that thing!” ? \*\* As in “'t ain’t your balls, 't ain’t your asshole.” You know, “taint.” Although yours works too. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/34 "2001-04-06T15:13:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SuaSponte \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Kamandi \* > > Call me cockeyed 😉 but on several occasions I’ve slipped out and stabbed Mrs Kamandi’s perineum, > > The scientific term for perineum is “taint” > > Sua \*\* Oh God I love you Sua. I love you with all the passion that a third grade girl has for her substitute art teacher. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Walter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7cd45c/32.png) [@Sweet\_Walter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Walter)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/35 "2001-04-06T15:20:22Z")
I like being able to ask the pharmacist for “extra medium, please” ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/36 "2001-04-07T00:57:48Z")
You know, aside from ease of oral fun, there are…umm…other places you might want to stick that thing that are easier if it’s smaller. -L ---
**Author:** ![KP235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@KP235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KP235)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/37 "2001-04-07T02:38:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > [B > Mr. Fenris, as an allegedly sentient adult… \*\* I’m glad to hear you survived the ‘zipper incident’ without any long lasting effects, but you may want to be careful. Seems the **fatherjohn** syndrome’s got you big time! (no smilies in the pit, otherwise there might be one here) ---
**Author:** ![KP235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@KP235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KP235)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/38 "2001-04-07T02:47:00Z")
Ok, my above post was just wrong. **KP235** is embarrassed and ashamed to link a poster such as **fenris** to ole’ you know who. **KP235** retracts that post entire and awaits any thrashing he gets for making it. ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/39 "2001-04-07T03:15:07Z")
::sniffle:: I wish I was as fortunate as you. Mine’s _always_ getting caught in the car door…☹ [sub]Think I’m lying? Ask racinchikki.[/sub] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845/40 "2001-04-07T03:16:48Z")
That’s the LAST time I read the Straight Dope while holding my penis with hemostats. The scanning electron microscope had JUUUUUUST about fixed a position on it when I started laughing at this thread. Unlocked the hemostats and now the whole thing’s gone to hell. \ 😃 😃 Cartooniverse [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-power-of-my-small-penis/60845.md?page=3)