# The powerful art of subtlety in making a point

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-powerful-art-of-subtlety-in-making-a-point/593226>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 18, 2011, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-powerful-art-of-subtlety-in-making-a-point/593226 "2011-08-18T21:30:12Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![shakabroh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@shakabroh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shakabroh)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-powerful-art-of-subtlety-in-making-a-point/593226/1 "2011-08-18T21:30:12Z")

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Some people I know are masters at being able to make their point indirectly, with subtlety.

Especially in a professional environment, I think this skill can go a long way. I can feel the effects of it…but still don’t fully grasp why it’s so powerful. Any insights?

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**Author:** ![Crackrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Crackrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crackrat)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-powerful-art-of-subtlety-in-making-a-point/593226/2 "2011-08-18T23:14:26Z")

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WAG: Because people are more convinced of a point if they come to it themselves, or think they do, than if they are beaten over the head with it.

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**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-powerful-art-of-subtlety-in-making-a-point/593226/3 "2011-08-18T23:17:02Z")

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> [@Crackrat](#):
>
> WAG: Because people are more convinced of a point if they come to it themselves, or think they do, than if they are beaten over the head with it.

This is it. When someone makes a deduction for themselves rather than being told what to think, they are more likely to become invested in the belief and hold onto it.

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**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-powerful-art-of-subtlety-in-making-a-point/593226/4 "2011-08-18T23:23:56Z")

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> [@shakabroh](#):
>
> Some people I know are masters at being able to make their point indirectly, with subtlety.
> 
> Especially in a professional environment, I think this skill can go a long way. I can feel the effects of it…but still don’t fully grasp why it’s so powerful. Any insights?

Face-saving.

Steven Pinker talks about this in his book **The Stuff of Thought** , in a chapter on seduction and bribes. It’s a great book. Basically, it comes down to a matrix:

Blunt, audience agrees: they’re a little offended, but can go along with it.  
Blunt, audience disagrees: they’re outraged, back against the wall, likely to “strike back.”  
Subtle, audience agrees: they maintain face and go along with it.  
Subtle, audience disagrees: they maintain face and put forth their own proposal without any need to “strike back.”

That’s not exactly how Pinker suggests it works, but I think it applies to this particular permutation of indirect speech.

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**Author:** ![shakabroh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@shakabroh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shakabroh)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-powerful-art-of-subtlety-in-making-a-point/593226/5 "2011-08-19T00:16:12Z")

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Great insights! 🆒

I suppose that is the same power of the ‘punch line’ in a good joke.