# The Premier of the All Male Review! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 28, 2000, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531 "2000-12-28T17:03:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3

**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/41 "2000-12-29T04:47:31Z")

> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andyman \* > \*\*Any requests? \*\* Yeah, lose the sock! 😉 ---

**Author:** ![Meephead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b782af/32.png) [@Meephead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meephead)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/42 "2000-12-29T05:14:45Z")

> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Meephead \* > \*\*Walks across the stage in nothing but a black felt cowboy hat. Hair almost tickling his cheeks in the rear. 😃 > > [sub]hides quickly behind the curtain… “can someone bring me my boots and jeans?”[/sub] \*\* I didn’t say I was wearing the hat on my head… er, maybe I should re-phrase that? ---

**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/43 "2000-12-29T06:09:01Z")

:::: **Narile wheels out an electron microscope.** :::: Some of the guys might need this… :::: **Narile walks back to the sidestage but is pushed back on** :::: What?! Me? I told you, would break your monitors! I mean it,Um, whyfor you have that shotgun…Oh…Alright, but you owe for the damages. ::: **Narile starts to take off his costume/clothing. As more of him becomes visible…** :::: ---------------------------\>0\<------------------------- **ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzFFFFFEEEEEWWWWWOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPP** :::: **A now clothed Narile looks out from the sidestage** :::: See, told you it would damage the systems. ---

**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/44 "2000-12-29T10:14:05Z")

> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Narile \* > \*\*:::: **Narile wheels out an electron microscope.** :::: \*\* …and thought it said “erection microscope”. Which would clearly be TMI. 😛 ---

**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/45 "2000-12-29T13:50:36Z")

> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miss B. Haven \* > \*\*Men, This is an invitation to strut your stuff for the women of the world. Come one and all and show us what you’ve got! > \*\* ::blink:: Um…ok. I really hadn’t prepared ::Rummages through briefcase:: \>ahem\< The book I’m currently (re)reading is Terry Pratchett’s Witches Abroad. I was in the mood for a re-read of something, I just didn’t feel like tackling a new book, and Pratchett is always a good choice, since the depth and richness of his prose and characters benefits from multiple reads. The plot involves the coven that was introduced in an earlier book (Wyrd Sisters) but is a stand-alone. A fairy-godmother dies and, since fairy-godmothers always come in pairs, it leaves the evil fairy-godmother unchecked. Except that the good fairy-godmother has sent her wand to the weakest member of the coven (Magrat) with strict instructions that Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg are absolutly _not_ to come along. Knowing full well that that’ll infuriate Granny W. and Nanny O. so much that… ::looks around, sees people staring at him:: What? She said she wanted an all male review! I’m all male! I’m **giving** her a review. What else would she want me to review? The last movie I saw was Puma-Man, via MST3K. I could review that… Whatdaya mean she meant a “revue”? She wants me to take my clothes off? Ooo[sub]oooo[/sub]oooo[sup]oooo[/sup]kay. ::strips:: I’ve never done this in the nude before. Is it drafty in here? …ahem…anyway, as I was saying, so the Witches decide to go to to stop the evil fairy-godmother from feeding people to stories. This is a fascinating concept that Pratchett develops throughout the… ::big stick with a hook on the end grabs Fenris and yanks him off stage left:: Curtain falls. Fenris ---

**Author:** ![AndYrAStar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@AndYrAStar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndYrAStar)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/46 "2000-12-29T14:40:49Z")

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**Author:** ![MissBHaven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missbhaven/32/7170_2.png) [@MissBHaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBHaven)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/47 "2000-12-29T14:41:25Z")

> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\*Whatdaya mean she meant a “revue”? \*\* Is _that_ what it’s called?! I think I like your idea though… a review within a revue. Oh, never mind! I just want to see a bunch of guys parading around for the personal pleasure of the SDMB women. Here’s a $5 for you… you can use it for a bookmark! 🙂 ---

**Author:** ![andyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@andyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andyman)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/48 "2000-12-29T15:55:47Z")

> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by evilbeth \* > > Yeah, lose the sock! 😉 \*\* OK, you asked for it! ::swish:: ::flop:: ::dangle dangle:: Who wants to see a helicopter? 😉 ---

**Author:** ![MissBHaven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missbhaven/32/7170_2.png) [@MissBHaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBHaven)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/49 "2000-12-29T16:44:43Z")

> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by evilbeth \* > \*\*[sub]BTW, Patrick, you are excused from this thread–I want a private show![/sub] \*\* Private show? That will cost you extra… there’s a room in the back. No, don’t worry about that big mirror! Nobody can see anything!!! ---

**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/50 "2000-12-30T01:26:14Z")

> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > \*\*\ > > My, my, it seems this here lil lady has been one _naughty, naughty girl_! Looks like I’m gonna have to take you down to the station… > \*\* :rolleyes: Oh like that’s _really_ gonna make me want you…Ahh…whoa. Umm…er… :😊: :o Uh…hi, Jester. So was that directed at _me_ or at Persephone? Fenris- well endowed **and** well-read. Encore, encore!! ---

**Author:** ![DocDaneeka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c68b51/32.png) [@DocDaneeka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocDaneeka)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/51 "2000-12-30T02:18:17Z")

Lights go down, the music starts, Doc walks out on stage wearing a construction worker outfit, complete with tool belt, jeans, white tank top, flannel shirt, and (yeah baby!) a hard hat… _I’m too sexy for my love too sexy for my love Love’s going to leave me_ Doc slowly gyrates his hips, thumbs tucked into the tool belt. _I’m too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts_ Pulls off the flannel, spins it around his head, tosses it into the crowd… _And I’m too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan New York and Japan_ Turns around, shakes his booty, crouches to his knees and shakes some more booty, the jeans pulling tight… _And I’m too sexy for your party Too sexy for your party No way I’m disco dancing_ Spins around, points his finger and dances, John Travolta style. The mirrorball kicks in. _I’m a model you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah I do my little turn on the catwalk_ Struts around the stage, takes off the toolbelt and drops it to the floor. Each time “catwalk” is sang, claws hand in the air like a cat and hisses… _I’m too sexy for my car too sexy for my car Too sexy by far_ Does some driving motions, rotating hips along with the “steering wheel”. _And I’m too sexy for my hat Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that_ Takes off the hardhat, licks the top of it and runs it down his front… _I’m a model you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah I shake my little touche on the catwalk_ No more silly cat claws. Rips off the tank top, revealing his bare, sweaty, \ chest and stomache. Shakes touche on the touche line. _I’m too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my 'Cos I’m a model you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah I shake my little touche on the catwalk_ Really starts to gyrate. Slowly tears himself out of the rip-away jeans. Reveals he’s wearing nothing but a bright red g-string. More disco dancing. _I’m too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat Poor pussy poor pussy cat I’m too sexy for my love too sexy for my love Love’s going to leave me_ Jumps off the stage to move into the crowd… table dancing… - And I’m too sexy for this song\* Well, you’ve seen “The Full Monty”… ---

**Author:** ![DocDaneeka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c68b51/32.png) [@DocDaneeka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocDaneeka)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/52 "2000-12-30T02:20:35Z")

My god. I can’t believe I actually wrote that. AND submitted it. AND moved onto page 2 by myself… ---

**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/53 "2000-12-30T05:33:01Z")

Whoa!! The good doctor is IN!! Didn’t know you had THAT in you, bubba. 😉 ::stuffs a bill down the front of his g string:: At ease, boy…😛 Love that sexy “stomache.” Miss B. Haven, you’re a genius!! ---

**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/54 "2000-12-30T05:40:49Z")

::walks in wearing nothing but a fig leaf and a hat. A _very large_ fig leaf, if you know what I mean 😃 :: Howdy. ---

**Author:** ![DocDaneeka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c68b51/32.png) [@DocDaneeka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocDaneeka)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/55 "2000-12-30T05:57:21Z")

> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoggie \* > \*\*Whoa!! The good doctor is IN!! > > Didn’t know you had THAT in you, bubba. 😉 > > ::stuffs a bill down the front of his g string:: At ease, boy…😛 > Love that sexy “stomache.” > > Miss B. Haven, you’re a genius!! \*\* Thanks, little lady. Now I can afford to buy you a drink. \ And “stomache”… ummm… it’s French… yeah, that’s it… French… that makes it sexier… ---

**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/56 "2000-12-30T06:01:38Z")

Yeah, Doc. I’m a trollop, if you catch me drift. 🙂 I’d like a coke. Diet please! Gunslinger…I catch your drift. You’re wearing a very LARGE fig leaf to make us think you’re very well endowed down there? That’s it, isn’t it? ---

**Author:** ![Ad\_Noctum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b19c9b/32.png) [@Ad\_Noctum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ad_Noctum)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/57 "2000-12-30T21:36:01Z")

well, I can tell you a few things about myself- I biked over 1,500 miles last summer, and I kayaked for 3 hrs a day, that says something, don’t it? BTW, [http://www.geocities.com/adam\_the\_pyro\_2000/muscles.jpg](http://www.geocities.com/adam_the_pyro_2000/muscles.jpg) ---

**Author:** ![Ad\_Noctum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b19c9b/32.png) [@Ad\_Noctum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ad_Noctum)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/58 "2000-12-30T21:39:31Z")

::throws back a couple shots of Root Beer to loosen up:: ::Gets in bikini undies and does the Deuce Bigalow dance:: ---

**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2000, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/59 "2000-12-30T21:42:42Z")

Oh not bad. ::oggles him:: 🙂 Root beer. Sweet child. Here’s a roll of quarters. ::takes said roll and stuffs them down the front of his undies:: You’ll impress the ladies and have money for another root beer that way! ---

**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531/60 "2001-01-01T01:22:02Z")

Adam, you scared everyone else away! Or was it me? Did i kill your thread, Miss? I’M A MURDERER…::weeps:: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-premier-of-the-all-male-review/47531.md?page=4)