# The President Erdogan Dirty Limerick Contest - POLL THREAD! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 27, 2016, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812 "2016-05-27T14:55:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Memnon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@Memnon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Memnon)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2016, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/1 "2016-05-27T14:55:08Z")
So, in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=793543) thread, I ran a ‘President Erdogan Dirty Limerick Contest’. The premise is fairly self-explanatory. Entrants were required to compose amusing limericks about quasi-dictator and thin-skinned asshole crybaby Recep Erdogan. The only rule was the the limericks _must_ be as filthy, obscene, and defamatory as possible. Yesterday, at 15:00pm EST, the contest drew to a close (although the thread remains open - hopefully forever - so if you’ve got one have at it!) and now it is time to choose a winner. The poll will close at 9:00am on Monday, EST. At that time I will announce a winner, and make a $50.00 contribution to the charity of their choice. Entrants _are_ allowed to vote for their own limerick, although personally I consider that a little unsportsmanlike. Anyway, without further ado, the entrants: **Knowed Out** _A Turk Prez whose asshole has lices, Once started a political crisis. He shined up his dick for the Kurds to go lick by funding the terrorists ISIS._ **Baker** _There once was a Turk dude named Erdogan Whose ego, so fragile, was shat upon. His cock, never limp Developed a gimp So he ordered some lawyers to “Bring it on!”_ **ñañi** _The first time Recep won the votes “Erdogan” was a brand of men’s coats But now it appears After thirteen short years It calls to mind one who fucks goats_ **Walken After Midnight** _Have you ever been in a Turkish prison? I hear a post there has newly arisen. It’s attached to Recep, Who behind you will step For occasions of soap-dropping frisson._ **Gatopescado** _Prez Erdogan from Istanbul To goats and rams was quite cruel He’d train and expect them to bugger his rectum at the same time he’d fellate a mule!_ **Jackmannii** _When mocked, Erdogan objects Demanding some German respect But the world will not salaam To this shitheaded imam A case of the Streisand effect?_ **garygnu** _Ugly cur who had a thin hide, If insulted, Erdogan cried. They dumped Armenians like turds, And now it’s the Kurds That he wants to commit genocide._ **Elendil’s Heir** _Insulted, Herr Erdogan’s clucking, “You must show respect, and no mucking!” Free speech he disdains, high dudgeon he feigns; his ass, with his head, he is fucking._ **Zyanthia** _I saw smegma for the first time today as the president of Turkey did lay With his ass in the air open from here to there While licking the drops away._ **Martian Bigfoot** _There once was a president Turkishman Who signed his posts: “Kind regards, Erdogan” On a message board He shared his innermost thoughts Quoth Recep : “Yes, sex with sheep is fun!”_ **Princhester** _The Turks’ best at bestiality was Erdogan Who challenged Merkel at the dirty game The Chancellor retired Saying “My cunt is on fire!” But the Turk said let’s do the whole herd again_ **Tatterdemalion** _There once was a Turk named Recep, And this is the damnedest one yet. His tool was so long, So thick and so strong, He could bugger 6 Greeks, en brochette_ **Tithonus** _There once was a ruler from Turkey, Whose pecker was not very perky, To this poor flaccid stump, He appended a pump, And now it’s as tough as beef jerky_ So there you have it. Ladies and gentlemen, cast your votes. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2016, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/2 "2016-05-27T22:03:51Z")
I wish I could have two votes. Anyone want to throw away their vote so I can have two? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2016, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/3 "2016-05-28T14:07:22Z")
C’mon, vote for\*\* Baker\*\*! 😛 At least you won’t be voting for Trump or Clinton! And the money will go to the Humane Society. \* Turns and slinks away.\* ---
**Author:** ![Memnon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@Memnon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Memnon)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2016, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/4 "2016-05-28T15:16:26Z")
Vote for me! _My_ donation will go towards helping buxom nineteen year olds pay their way through college! ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2016, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/5 "2016-05-29T00:08:29Z")
I don’t even need to tell you to vote for me, since I’m the obvious choice. _checks poll results_ Ah, crap. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2016, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/6 "2016-05-29T01:32:53Z")
I thought there would be a lot more responses to this poll. Don’t tell me Dopers are gettin more sophisticated with their humor. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2016, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/7 "2016-05-29T01:37:57Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > I thought there would be a lot more responses to this poll. Don’t tell me Dopers are gettin more sophisticated with their humor. Wait, I’m confused… “getting more sophisticated”? Are you saying that goat fucking isn’t the height of sophistication? ---
**Author:** ![Memnon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@Memnon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Memnon)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2016, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/8 "2016-05-29T22:33:36Z")
I refuse to accept that a poll this filthy has only gotten 13 votes. Step it up, people! ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/9 "2016-05-30T00:02:19Z")
> [@Tithonus](#): > > I refuse to accept that a poll this filthy has only gotten 13 votes. Step it up, people! I stepped up, so now there’s 14. ---
**Author:** ![nani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58956e/32.png) [@nani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nani)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/10 "2016-05-31T01:48:37Z")
I shouldn’t have been sportsmanlike, but I did really like **Elendil’s Heir** ’s use of the word “dudgeon”. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/11 "2016-05-31T04:19:24Z")
:: bows to **ñañi** :: ---
**Author:** ![Memnon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@Memnon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Memnon)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/12 "2016-05-31T17:48:08Z")
> [@Elendil's Heir](#): > > > [@ñañi](#): > > > > I shouldn’t have been sportsmanlike, but I did really like Elendil’s Heir’s use of the word “dudgeon”. > > ``` > :: bows to ñañi :: > > ``` I liked it too. In fact, I _almost_ voted for you as well for the same reason. In the end, though, I voted for **ñañi** because I didn’t know ‘Erdogan’ was also a brand of men’s coats so it was both funny _and_ educational. Anyway, after 3 days of (frankly, surprisingly lacklustre) voting, we have a tie. The finalists are: **ñañi** _The first time Recep won the votes “Erdogan” was a brand of men’s coats But now it appears After thirteen short years It calls to mind one who fucks goats_ **Elendil’s Heir** _Insulted, Herr Erdogan’s clucking, “You must show respect, and no mucking!” Free speech he disdains, high dudgeon he feigns; his ass, with his head, he is fucking._ The competition will be decided by the first poster in this thread who uses his or her post to cast a vote for either of our finalists. Good luck to you both! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/13 "2016-05-31T18:24:46Z")
I will vote for **ñañi** ’s and the goats. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/14 "2016-05-31T18:27:46Z")
Ninja’ed ---
**Author:** ![nani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58956e/32.png) [@nani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nani)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/15 "2016-05-31T18:31:04Z")
I actually, um, made up that Erdogan was a brand of men’s coats. This is turning into quite the dudgeon… ETA: In light of this scandal I release my newest supporters from their obligations. Know, however, that you made my day 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/16 "2016-05-31T20:52:35Z")
I vote for Elendil’s Heir, but I like them both! ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2016, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/17 "2016-05-31T22:10:45Z")
Thanks Mum ---
**Author:** ![Memnon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@Memnon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Memnon)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/18 "2016-06-01T20:51:03Z")
The people have spoken! Congratulations **ñañi** , you beat off some fierce competition and I hereby present to you the coveted “Filthiest Poet” and “Doper Least Likely to Escape Turkey Alive” awards, as well as a $50.00 donation to the charity of your choice. Also, for the record, I didn’t know Erdogan had been in power for 13 years so I _still_ learned something. Thanks to all our competitors for their deliciously defamatory ditties, and remember, while there can only be one winner, when it comes to insulting Recep “Twiglet dick” Erdogan, there aren’t really any losers! ---
**Author:** ![nani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58956e/32.png) [@nani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nani)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/19 "2016-06-01T22:44:39Z")
::Takes a Bow:: Wow. You know there were a lot of people who said that a dirty limerick contest about Erdogan couldn’t happen. Like Erdogan. But I guess we showed them! I’d like to take this opportunity to thank my illustrious and talented competitors. It is truly humbling and an honor to have beaten you off. I’d also like to thank Tithonus our gracious host, the SDMB for not banning me despite all the threads I’ve killed, and of course, our Lord in Heaven Jesus Christ God Almighty, who gave me the strength to carry on when I despaired of finding that delicate balance between lewd and lyrical. To Him goes the glory. As to the charity, I believe it both fitting and worthwhile to suggest [Buttercups Sanctuary for Goats](http://www.buttercups.org.uk/), the only registered goat Charity in the United Kingdom whose sole aim is to provide relief to abused and neglected goats. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2016, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812/20 "2016-06-01T23:01:15Z")
I still think mine was dirtiest. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest-poll-thread/755812.md?page=2)