# The President Erdogan Dirty Limerick Contest. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 20, 2016, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244 "2016-05-20T17:44:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Memnon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@Memnon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Memnon)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2016, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/1 "2016-05-20T17:44:36Z")
Okay, so the backstory for this is all eloquently explained [here](http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/2016/04/introducing-the-president-erdogan-offensive-poetry-competition/), but the gist is that a German comedian read out an insulting poem about Turkish President Recep Erdogan. Since Recep Erdogan, aside from being President of Turkey, is also a world-class dictatorial asshole, he has insisted the comedian be prosecuted under an obscure German law which forbids insulting foreign heads of state. In response to this, UK journalist Douglas Murray decided to run a “President Erdogan Dirty Limerick” competition (which, delightfully, was won by outgoing mayor of London Boris Johnson) and I thought the Dope’s resident wordsmiths might have fun with it too. There are only two rules: 1. The limericks _must_ be as filthy, obscene, and defamatory as possible. 2. The limericks _must_ be as filthy, obscene, and defamatory as possible. I know that, technically, this is only one rule, but I thought it was such an important one it was worth mentioning twice. Murray’s entry, just to set the tone, is: _Recep Erdogan is the Turk’ll Never tire of rim-jobs from his circle Yet his chief-est delight (Now Khilafa’s in sight) Are the felchings he gets from Frau Merkel_ And here’s my humble offering: _There once was a ruler from Turkey, Whose pecker was not very perky, To this poor flaccid stump, He appended a pump, And now it’s as tough as beef jerky_ Post your entries here. If I get enough, I might even do a poll to pick the best one. If it gets that far (and I’ll be looking for at least 10-15 entries to make it worthwhile), I will also, as an added inducement, make a $50.00 donation to the winner’s charity of choice 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2016, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/2 "2016-05-20T19:26:13Z")
A Turk prez whose asshole has lices, Started a political crisis. He shined up his dick for the Kurds to go lick by funding the terrorists ISIS. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2016, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/3 "2016-05-20T20:30:24Z")
_There once was a Turk dude named Erdogan Whose ego, so fragile, was shat upon. His cock, never limp Developed a gimp So he ordered some lawyers to “Bring it on!”_ ---
**Author:** ![nani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58956e/32.png) [@nani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nani)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2016, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/4 "2016-05-21T00:48:19Z")
_The first time Recep won the votes “Erdogan” was a brand of men’s coats But now it appears After thirteen short years It calls to mind one who fucks goats_ ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2016, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/5 "2016-05-21T01:57:34Z")
Pres and Turk Recep Erdogan %&_@~ and &&_#^@^ for a @^&\*% Then he @^& and he !&&% and %@&\* all day Until @&\*% !^&&_$$ to @%&_@ ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2016, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/6 "2016-05-21T13:30:45Z")
Though tof anothre one The Turk prez once wanted a Bucking -ham palace for him to get stuck in He built the toodoo on top of a zoo but kept all the goats he was fucking ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2016, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/7 "2016-05-21T14:15:38Z")
Have you ever been in a Turkish prison? I hear a post there has newly arisen. It’s attached to Recep, Who behind you will step For occasions of soap-dropping frisson. Once I was watching TV and the subtitles read: “…the Turkish Prime Minister, [Mr Ed](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mister_Ed)”. ---
**Author:** ![Memnon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@Memnon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Memnon)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2016, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/8 "2016-05-21T19:36:36Z")
I must say, I’m very impressed with the entries so far. The bar’s been set pretty high! If I get another 5-10 I’ll run a poll. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2016, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/9 "2016-05-21T20:21:08Z")
_Prez Erdogan from Istanbul To goats and rams was quite cruel He’d train and expect them to bugger his rectum at the same time he’d fellate a mule!_ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2016, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/10 "2016-05-22T03:41:28Z")
When mocked, Erdogan objects Demanding some German respect But the world will not salaam To this shitheaded imam A case of the Streisand effect? ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/11 "2016-05-24T16:08:18Z")
Ugly cur who had a thin hide, If insulted, Ergodan cried. They dumped Armenians like turds, And now it’s the Kurds That he wants to commit genocide. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2016, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/12 "2016-05-25T17:06:13Z")
Insulted, Herr Erdogan’s clucking, “You must show respect, and no mucking!” Free speech he disdains, high dudgeon he feigns; his ass, with his head, he is fucking. ---
**Author:** ![Memnon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@Memnon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Memnon)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2016, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/13 "2016-05-25T18:08:26Z")
Keep 'em coming, guys! We’re almost there. A couple more and I’ll start the poll thread. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2016, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/14 "2016-05-25T19:18:22Z")
There once was a prez who was bitter and butthurt because of the Twitter. He said with a frown, “Shut it all down and bring back MySpace from the shitter.” ---
**Author:** ![Zyanthia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Zyanthia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyanthia)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2016, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/15 "2016-05-25T19:28:50Z")
I saw smegma for the first time today as the president of Turkey did lay With his ass in the air open from here to there While licking the drops away. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2016, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/16 "2016-05-25T20:25:33Z")
There once was a president Turk whom jokes and lewd insults did irk he went to the courts and, by all reports, soon proved that he was quite a firk. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2016, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/17 "2016-05-25T20:58:31Z")
There once was a president Turkishman Who signed his posts: “Kind regards, Erdogan” On a message board He shared his innermost thoughts Quoth Recep : “Yes, sex with sheep \*is \*fun!” And goats. But, I mean, there’s nothing wrong with _that_… um, right? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2016, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/18 "2016-05-25T22:02:02Z")
One more: There was a Turk president who Wanted to do as the animals do He eschewed Amsterdam And Hamburg’s Reeperbahn But found romance at the Berlin Zoo ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2016, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/19 "2016-05-25T23:36:34Z")
One last one from me, and I’m done, I promise (damn, this is addictive): My first poem about Erdogan was called “Turkish goat-felching, part one” But Recep was bemused He said: “No, you’re confused,” “that’s this DVD here, that I own.” ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2016, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244/20 "2016-05-26T02:01:30Z")
The Turks’ best at bestiality was Erdogan Who challenged Merkel at the dirty game The Chancellor retired Saying “My cunt is on fire!” But the Turk said let’s do the whole herd again [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-president-erdogan-dirty-limerick-contest/755244.md?page=2)