# The pressure to marry. **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 12, 2001, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pressure-to-marry/65191 "2001-05-12T07:51:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pressure-to-marry/65191/21 "2001-05-15T22:27:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pepperlandgirl \* > \*\*I’m getting married in 34 days, and I never felt pressured. As a matter of fact, many people I know are trying strongly to _discourage_ me, claiming that it’ll ruin my life. From some of the negative feedback I’ve been getting, marriage seems to be the most horrible, inhumane institution ever created. > \*\* It might have more to do with your young age then anything else. I wouldn’t encouraged anyone who was 18 or 19 to get married. Let’s face it when you’re that age you’re more prone ot making stupid decisions. On the other hand my mother had already married and had me by the time she was 19 and my parents stayed together till death. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Mysphyt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@Mysphyt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mysphyt)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pressure-to-marry/65191/22 "2001-05-15T23:12:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*Rosebud wrote: > > > [@](#): > > > > I haven’t yet met a guy who feared turning 30 without being married, though I’m sure they exist. > > True … but I’ll bet there are a lot of guys who fear turning **40** without being married. FTR, I fit into the former category, to say nothing of the latter. And yes, I’m a guy. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pressure-to-marry/65191/23 "2001-05-15T23:30:07Z")
The pressure to get married is a mere trifle compared to the bathyspheric Abyss of pressure to have children. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pressure-to-marry/65191/24 "2001-05-16T20:55:04Z")
According to a news article at [http://www.msnbc.com/news/573365.asp](http://www.msnbc.com/news/573365.asp), the 2000 U.S. census results show that, since the time of the 1990 census, there’s been a higher percentage increase in unmarried, co-habitating couples than in married couples. So maybe the pressure to marry is easing a little. ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2001, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pressure-to-marry/65191/25 "2001-05-18T02:49:04Z")
I’m sure no one wants to hear this but… The theory is that Women have a stake in marriage (because they have to invest in the child’s growth, unlike the Man), while men don’t really have as strong a stake in marriage because it doesn’t cost them much to screw around. So it would seem that Women might want marriage more than men. However, Biology certainly isn’t everything, Women don’t have to worry about marriage, but they may be predisposed to worry about it. Also, men do have a genetic stake in marriage, they just don’t have as stong of a committment ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2001, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pressure-to-marry/65191/26 "2001-05-19T01:38:25Z")
Actually, evolutionary behavior theory **does** predict a predilection toward monogamy (or at least _serial_ monogamy) in human males. See, it takes **so** much time and energy to raise a child to the age where (s)he can take care of him/herself that the mother doesn’t have much of a chance of doing it on her own. She can’t look after her kids back at the cave **and** go on a hunting expedition at the same time. And if **she** starves to death or gets eaten by leopards before her children are old enough to take care of themselves, her **children** are going to die, too. And half of those childrens’ genes come from their father. So a man can increase the chances that his offspring will **survive** (at least long enough to grow up) by sharing his resources with his children. And sharing his resources with the children’s mother, who takes care of them when he’s out hunting bison. And the most straightforward way to facilitate the sharing of resources with one female, to the exclusion of others who would otherwise dilute his resource pool, is good old-fashioned pair bonding. Also known as monogamy. ---
**Author:** ![johnny\_fishface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@johnny\_fishface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnny_fishface)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2001, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pressure-to-marry/65191/27 "2001-05-19T06:09:27Z")
tracer, I have some single women here that are hungry for some “Bison”. Interested? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2001, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pressure-to-marry/65191/28 "2001-05-19T17:18:47Z")
Is **that** what you kids are calling it these days! – **tracer** , who wouldn’t mind some wooly mammoth right now, if you catch his drift ---
**Author:** ![johnny\_fishface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@johnny\_fishface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnny_fishface)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2001, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pressure-to-marry/65191/29 "2001-05-20T05:59:30Z")
ok, now I’ve gotta get some windex. that was just a spit-take on my monitor. the whole image of a “wooly mammoth”!!! oh man, I remember her… 😃 wait, this is great debates… yeah… uh, marriage sucks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pressure-to-marry/65191.md?page=1)