# The proper way to beat your wife **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 3, 2007, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390 "2007-10-03T15:29:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/1 "2007-10-03T15:29:45Z")
(Mods, this may be GD material, heck, even Cafe Society stuff, or perhaps even the Pit) But still, it boggles the mind: [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaKFPFHiz68) (If you beat your wife so that she bruises or bleeds, it does not please Allah) Sure am glad we don’t have a lock on Religious nutbars. ---
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/2 "2007-10-03T15:39:59Z")
The guy’s a cock. But I am always cautious about something that comes from MEMRI. [They are often criticized for bias in translation, among other things.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_East_Media_Research_Institute#Criticism) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/3 "2007-10-03T15:42:50Z")
I beat my wife all the time. Now she won’t play Scrabble with me anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Dottygumdrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Dottygumdrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dottygumdrop)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/4 "2007-10-03T16:33:40Z")
You might find the info in [this link](http://www.islamicfinder.org/articles/article.php?id=307&lang=english) informative. It gives an expansive answer to the question regarding the verse in the Qur’an which permits “wife-beating”. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/5 "2007-10-03T19:03:13Z")
**Dotty** see, now you go and bring rationality into the picture. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/6 "2007-10-03T19:22:44Z")
If she doesn’t like being beaten, she should divorce her husband and marry the University of Notre Dame football team. They can’t beat anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/7 "2007-10-03T19:25:11Z")
Bah. Religion is stupid and outdated. The Christian Bible alows ownership and beatings of slaves; Exodus 21.20 - “If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property” And don’t forget this little gem. Exodus 21.17 - “Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.” ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/8 "2007-10-03T20:18:37Z")
I beat my wife up every morning. …I get up at 5:00 and she gets up at 5:15. I have waited years to use that one. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/9 "2007-10-03T22:01:09Z")
[QUOTE=Seven] Bah. Religion is stupid and outdated. The Christian Bible alows ownership and beatings of slaves; Exodus 21.20 - “If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property” And don’t forget this little gem. Exodus 21.17 - “Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.” [/QUOTE] I notice you’re not going off on the Jews for that little gem. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/10 "2007-10-03T22:45:48Z")
[QUOTE=Unintentionally Blank] (If you beat your wife so that she bruises or bleeds, it does not please Allah) [/QUOTE] So, use a bag of oranges? ETA: Wait, does that leave NO sign, or bruising only? I need to brush up on this. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/11 "2007-10-03T23:26:38Z")
> [@](#): > > If she doesn’t like being beaten, she should divorce her husband and marry the University of Notre Dame football team. They can’t beat anyone. I’ll have you know that remark made me spew iced tea out of my nose, damnit. Spewing liquid through your nose and cackling at the same time, do not mix. Good one! ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/12 "2007-10-03T23:27:55Z")
I thought there was a [rule of thumb](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/000512.html) about wife-beating. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/13 "2007-10-03T23:35:36Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] I notice you’re not going off on the Jews for that little gem. [/QUOTE] I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking it odd that he quoted the Old Testament as the “Christian Bible.” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/14 "2007-10-04T00:38:49Z")
You know what they say: If you’re going to do something wrong, do it right. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/15 "2007-10-04T01:58:11Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] I notice you’re not going off on the Jews for that little gem. [/QUOTE] The Christians use the “rules” from that same text. You know, the whole 10 Commandments thing. Did the Christians release a memo about bailing out on the Old Testament? But yes, BOTH the Christians and Jews are outdated in their little 2000+ year old rule books. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/16 "2007-10-04T02:16:38Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] So, use a bag of oranges? ETA: Wait, does that leave NO sign, or bruising only? I need to brush up on this. [/QUOTE] Maybe they’re mental beatings more than physical? Those would be more “appropriate”. Christ, what an idiot. Edited to add: not you, **gigi**. The imam and anyone or anything that condones beating anyone because you have some special right. He/they are idiot(s). ---
**Author:** ![Dottygumdrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Dottygumdrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dottygumdrop)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/17 "2007-10-04T06:10:08Z")
[QUOTE=Unintentionally Blank] **Dotty** see, now you go and bring rationality into the picture. 😉 [/QUOTE] Sorry 'bout that! Just trying to fight ignorance! 😃 Carry on … ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/18 "2007-10-04T06:26:25Z")
It looks like my father could have done better by converting to Islam. The only “rule” he kept is that, AFAIK, he never broke any of my mom’s bones. From **Dotty’s** source: > [@](#): > > Quran is very clear on this issue. Almighty Allah says: "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah would have them to guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance); for Allah is most High and Great (above you all). I think this sums up why I would never consider joining that religion. With all respect to people who believe in it, I just don’t see one sex as the judge of the other. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/19 "2007-10-04T12:11:12Z")
[QUOTE=nonacetone] I’ll have you know that remark made me spew iced tea out of my nose, damnit. Spewing liquid through your nose and cackling at the same time, do not mix. Good one! [/QUOTE] My job is done. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2007, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390/20 "2007-10-04T12:34:25Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] So, use a bag of oranges? ETA: Wait, does that leave NO sign, or bruising only? I need to brush up on this. [/QUOTE] Pat Hingle as Bobo Justus in “The Grifters”? He didn’t say anything about bruises, but he did say,“You never shit right again.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-beat-your-wife/421390.md?page=2)