# the proper way to initiate a threesome **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 19, 2001, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321 "2001-06-19T12:30:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2001, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/21 "2001-06-19T22:56:58Z")
Actually, just ask each woman alone what their wild sexual fantasies are. If they are into threesomes, hey, you might just have the thing. Don’t ask me how I know this. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/22 "2001-06-20T00:24:46Z")
IMHO… Just ask Jeff Hardy. I know \*\* Stinky Paws \*\* would do it,just as long as I kick Jeff out afterwards and cuddle with him. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![frock75](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ad7895/32.png) [@frock75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frock75)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/23 "2001-06-20T00:54:38Z")
One word…Alchohol. Lots and lots of alchohol. I’m thinking, that’s Ron Jeremy’s secret. What’s good for the Hedgehog… ---
**Author:** ![amati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@amati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amati)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/24 "2001-06-20T09:58:51Z")
so, there’s not much of a chance of that happening, so…let me take advantage of the diversity of this mb and ask all of you… \*\*who wants to have a SDMB orgy? i’m sure someone has to have come up with this idea before… ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/25 "2001-06-20T11:29:48Z")
the two times i had a 3some (with the same two guys)it started with the basic truth or dare premise, and a lot of alcohol! but hey, i was young (17) and foolish and hell yes, i’d do it again! so stupid as it sounds lots of smut and alcohol is probably the way to go 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/26 "2001-06-20T11:34:25Z")
Eh, it’s not worth it. It’s hard to concentrate on having fun when you are trying to avoid bumping into the other guy. 8^) ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/27 "2001-06-20T13:02:10Z")
What about saying: “Voulez vous couchez avec menage a trois?” Sorry if I tore up the French, mais je ne parle pa le francais. It’s just that French is such a pretty, cool sounding language. Folks could be telling you to go fuck yourself, and you wouldn’t care–at least at first until you realized you’ve been insulted and maybe not even then–because it just sounds so pretty. In regards to actually doing a threesome IRL, I say more power to folks that can. I get worn out fooling around with just one guy, and I think I’d get either really jealous or really bored if the other two guys went at it and left me all by my lonesome. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/28 "2001-06-20T15:15:45Z")
Ah, ma chere Celestina. Sautez sur un avion pour l’ouest, pour qu’on puisque danser sous les etoiles, sur la plage, dans les vagues. Vite! Je vous attends. Barbarian ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/29 "2001-06-20T15:30:08Z")
Well, my plan works like this: First, **magdalene** opens a thread saying she’s coming to New York. I suggest alcohol. Next, **Geobabe** mentions that she might pop down for the event. I suggest bar-dancing. How am I doing so far? ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/30 "2001-06-20T15:59:10Z")
Funny you should say that, Manny - my answer to this thread was going to be “Liquor. Lots of liquor.” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2001, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/31 "2001-06-20T16:10:43Z")
Well, according to James Lileks, serving this as a party snack is the socially refined way of broaching the topic: [http://lileks.com/institute/gallery/500/index5.html](http://lileks.com/institute/gallery/500/index5.html) ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/32 "2001-06-21T03:55:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by manhattan \* > \*\*Well, my plan works like this: > > First, **magdalene** opens a thread saying she’s coming to New York. I suggest alcohol. > > Next, **Geobabe** mentions that she might pop down for the event. I suggest bar-dancing. > > How am I doing so far? \*\* Oh, you just think you’re sooooo clever, don’t you? No wonder I love you so. ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/33 "2001-06-21T04:03:44Z")
* * * Barbarian said: “Ah, ma chere Celestina. Sautez sur un avion pour l’ouest, pour qu’on puisque danser sous les etoiles, sur la plage, dans les vagues. Vite! Je vous attends.” * * * I don’t know what the hell you just said, baby. Something about a plane and dancing on the beach. Dangit! I need a French dictionary. Oh well, whatever it was, my knees are getting weak, and I feel my heart going pitter patter[sigh] [celestina gazing raptly at her computer screen] Write me some more, Barbarian. I could listen to a fella speak French all day. ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/34 "2001-06-21T04:38:02Z")
Ooh Barbarian! I think I just translated what you wrote. Quel bon mots. Merci beau coup. 🙂 Too bad I don’t have your email address. I’d love to practice my French with you, sweetie. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/35 "2001-06-21T05:48:26Z")
Barbarian, ordinairement on ne vouvoie pas la fille qu’on romance… ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/36 "2001-06-21T08:09:30Z")
**Matt** Tu, vous, who cares? J’suis seulement un pauvre tete carre Anglo 😉 **Celestina** hmm… one email coming your way… ---
**Author:** ![Sultan\_Kinkari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7bcc69/32.png) [@Sultan\_Kinkari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sultan_Kinkari)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/37 "2001-06-21T09:47:34Z")
Ok, I’ve had 5 menage a trois, but I’ll tell you about the ones that had pitfalls you can learn from. The first time was with my two female roommate’s, a typical Jack Tripper fantasy. I was pretty much fucked up all the time and one day they asked me if they could tie me up, naked, and take naughty pictures of me. I was drunk, so naturally, it seemed like a pretty good idea. Somehow it moved to the bedroom, and it occured to me that I only have so many hands. While I was gettin’ it on with one of them, the other felt left out, bored, and wierd, so she took off. No big deal, really. Just make sure that once you get them there, they don’t feel left out. The second and fifth time, the same thing happened; These times it was with two guys and a girl. Don’t freak out, it wasn’t a big deal. I would be getting it on with the girl and I sensed the guy was either feeling left out of the mix, or that I wasn’t sharing enough. Of all my experiences, I would have to say that one-on-one is the best because you can space out more and concentrate deeper. And, you have each other to yourselves, no jealousy involved. ---
**Author:** ![AndYrAStar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@AndYrAStar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndYrAStar)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/38 "2001-06-21T09:53:41Z")
Go to the library. Take out several books on the subject, invite both parties over… casually leave books laying on coffee table… I did this before. It was meant as a joke, but hey, maybe it’ll actually work for you 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sultan\_Kinkari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7bcc69/32.png) [@Sultan\_Kinkari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sultan_Kinkari)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/39 "2001-06-21T09:56:30Z")
Here’s something to think about; All of the threesomes I’v had have been isolated incidents. That means that either I am a bad lay, or it just didn’t feel right. I have heard about middle-aged couples having threesomes through ads in the newspaper with married couples. I wonder if any of those have been repeat events. Maybe I wasn’t mature enough with my sexuality, very possible, or just too damn young. ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2001, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321/40 "2001-06-21T13:40:44Z")
Bon jour, matt\_mcl & Barbarian. Matt, s’il vous plait, pardonez vous le francais que j’ecris. Si je vous comprends, vous ne concernez pas. Je ne casse le miroir. 😉 S’il vous plait, une question. Qu’est-ce que ca veut dire “vouvoie” en anglais. Barbarian, qu’est-ce que ca veut dire “pauvre tete carre” en anglais? Man, writing French is difficult with only one’s roommate’s level one French book! I don’t know any grammar, and I barely comprehend how to conjugate verbs. I’m reverting to English for this question. Is it correct for me to use “vous” with you since I don’t know you, or is that too formal and I should use “tu”? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proper-way-to-initiate-a-threesome/69321.md?page=3)