# The proverbial sea has now been fished (online dating and me) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 14, 2008, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962 "2008-10-14T23:06:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/21 "2008-10-15T18:20:49Z")
> [@Gadarene](#): > > **twickster:** > > Aww, thanks! That makes me happy. Is there anything in there that you might change? Any pictures that aren’t particularly flattering? I’m perpetually unsure about that spam story (cribbed shamelessly from my now-dormant LiveJournal), but I’m never motivated enough to actually change it to a more conventional list of what I’m like and who I am and what I’m looking for. > . I would take out the two pix of you and Some Guy – no addl. info about how you look, and some mental “who is that person and am I supposed to recognize him” that doesn’t move you anywhere. And I thought the spam story was fine – kind of random and shaggy doggish, so it should serve to keep out the riffraff who don’t get it. BTW, another vote for OKC – I haven’t been to Match in a couple of years (had to default back to an old email address to get in) … the free sites are where it’s at, man. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/22 "2008-10-15T18:23:38Z")
I don’t see the profile link? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/23 "2008-10-15T18:40:36Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > I don’t see the profile link? 😕 Right here, **Auto** : > [@](#): > > Upon reflection, I’m not even sure if Match allows profiles to be viewed by non-members. If it does, however, you’re welcome to take a look and give your thoughts: my profile name is what you would get if you took the word ‘literary’ and made it into an adverb. (I’m not saying it straight out 'cause I don’t necessarily want it spidered for search engines, but PM me if you’d like me to link or c&p it for you.) **twickster:** > [@](#): > > I would take out the two pix of you and Some Guy – no addl. info about how you look, and some mental “who is that person and am I supposed to recognize him” that doesn’t move you anywhere. See, based on my own experiences browsing profiles, I’ve found that it’s a good idea to have as many varied pictures of yourself as reasonably possible, as long as none of them are unflattering. Each one reinforces the notion that you’re as attractive as the person viewing them first thought when they clicked on your profile, which is important. (There are a couple of profiles I’ve seen on there with really, really cute primary photos, and then a bunch of photos that amply demonstrate that the cuteness in the first one was more angles and lighting than anything else. Doesn’t seem like a productive way to go about it, given how important physical attraction is for most people as one necessary condition for a possible match.) And having pictures of yourself in social situations is good too, to the extent that it shows that you play well with others and that people can apparently stand to be around you. But I’ll definitely see if I can replace those two photos with other ones that don’t cause the same mental hitch. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/24 "2008-10-15T19:54:54Z")
See, if you were on OKC, you could caption your pix, and that would take care of it… ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/25 "2008-10-15T19:56:50Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > See, if you were on OKC, you could caption your pix, and that would take care of it… Aha! I should do that, then. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/26 "2008-10-15T20:46:13Z")
Have you \ tried eHarmony? I dated a guy for a while that I met there. They have discounts all the time on membership, and everybody on there at least is serious about it because you have to pay to communicate. I met Himself through [okcupid.com](http://okcupid.com). ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/27 "2008-10-15T21:44:42Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Have you \ tried eHarmony? I dated a guy for a while that I met there. They have discounts all the time on membership, and everybody on there at least is serious about it because you have to pay to communicate. > > I met Himself through [okcupid.com](http://okcupid.com). Sadly, eHarmony and I do not get along at _all_. I don’t think I’m their target demographic – or, to put it another way, I saw very, very few women there who came anywhere near _my_ target demographic. Plus (like Chemistry), its painfully tiered structure of escalating levels of contact just plays so completely against my strengths and my ability to assess whether or not I’m actually interested in somebody. Let us talk _now_; don’t make us trudge through interminable form questions and preference matching first. All that does is delay the point at which I realize that the other person can’t string words together to make a sentence. Ye gods. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/28 "2008-10-15T23:20:06Z")
Well, I just looked at your profile and you look like an absolute blast to hang out with. I’m not on the market (and, I strongly suspect, not your type) but I’d totally meet up for dinner in D.C. some night. Now, may I ask a totally selfish question? Do you know of any D.C. area agencies that are looking for legal proofreaders? My boyfriend has gobs of experience in the field, but he’s coming up dry, and I really want to get him out of the crappy job he’s working right now for the sake of his sanity. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/29 "2008-10-16T04:44:37Z")
> [@mischievous](#): > > Well, I just looked at your profile and you look like an absolute blast to hang out with. I’m not on the market (and, I strongly suspect, not your type) but I’d totally meet up for dinner in D.C. some night. That’s a really nice thing to say! I’m always on the lookout for interesting dinners; feel free to drop me a PM. > [@](#): > > Now, may I ask a totally selfish question? Do you know of any D.C. area agencies that are looking for legal proofreaders? My boyfriend has gobs of experience in the field, but he’s coming up dry, and I really want to get him out of the crappy job he’s working right now for the sake of his sanity. Excellent question. I’ll certainly ask around at my firm and see what I can find out. In return, if you happened to have any attractive, intelligent, sane single friends… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/30 "2008-10-16T05:29:38Z")
I met my current girlfriend through “Are You Interested” which is an application in Facebook. I’ve had much luck in the past with the Onion Personals. Also check out OKC (as others recommend) and Plenty of Fish. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/31 "2008-10-16T15:57:03Z")
Good suggestions! Man, now I want more people to critique my profile. Anyone got a site that could host a screen capture of the profile page? ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/32 "2008-10-16T16:03:10Z")
> [@Gadarene](#): > > Man, now I want more people to critique my profile. Anyone got a site that could host a screen capture of the profile page? Put it up on a free site and I’m sure that more people would happily look at it. . . . if you’re sure that’s your objective. There have been threads on OKC before where people who posted got “stalked” (which is their word for your page was pulled up by someone). If that doesn’t bother you, you might get a lot more exposure that way. I’m getting curious now. \*\*twickster’\*\*s comments made you sound very mysterious and alluring. But I don’t have a match account. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/33 "2008-10-16T16:27:28Z")
> [@Gadarene](#): > > In return, if you happened to have any attractive, intelligent, **sane** single friends… 🙂 Don’t you think you are setting the bar kind of high for yourself there? ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/34 "2008-10-16T16:48:04Z")
**Heffalump and Roo:** > [@](#): > > Put it up on a free site and I’m sure that more people would happily look at it. . . . if you’re sure that’s your objective. I’d rather find a way to expose my Match profile to you fine folk for viewing and criticism, rather than having to adapt it to a different site entirely. (Which is something I probably will do, using the criticisms I get, but not until this weekend, when I’ll – hopefully – have a little more spare time.) > [@](#): > > I’m getting curious now. twickster’s comments made you sound very mysterious and alluring. But I don’t have a match account. It’s possible to get a Match account for free, and I think it can be done pretty quickly; just a matter of filling in some basic data re: age and gender and finding 200 characters worth of blather to put in the introduction text. You can even make the profile completely invisible; no one will ever see it, you’ll never have to think about it again, and it won’t cost you a dime. But obviously that’s still a non-negligible hassle to do. **Maeglin:** > [@](#): > > Don’t you think you are setting the bar kind of high for yourself there? I like to think of sanity as the “helicopter” in the budget of my romantic criteria. (Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Have I got the expression wrong? Why can I not find it on Google?) ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/35 "2008-10-16T17:13:12Z")
> [@Gadarene](#): > > I like to think of sanity as the “helicopter” in the budget of my romantic criteria. (Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Have I got the expression wrong? Why can I not find it on Google?) Maybe Google doesn’t know it, but my boyfriend and I say that all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/36 "2008-10-16T17:28:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Maybe Google doesn’t know it, but my boyfriend and I say that all the time. That makes me feel much better. To anyone who is confused: I’ve always understood “helicopter” in this context to be a pretty neat term to describe the thing in a list of items that you have no real hope of getting and possibly don’t even need, but is included in case the person evaluating your request feels a compulsion to cut _something_, and would have eliminated one of the things you really wanted if the helicopter wasn’t sitting there looking all exorbitant and unrealistic. …Rereading that, I’m not sure it clarified anything. But I have to get back to my memo now, so I don’t rightly care. Okay, I care a lot. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/37 "2008-10-16T17:46:14Z")
> [@Gadarene](#): > > I like to think of sanity as the “helicopter” in the budget of my romantic criteria. (Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Have I got the expression wrong? Why can I not find it on Google?) \ And, yes, I knew what you were talking about. Unfortunately, I have a firm policy of eliminating all sane people from my social circle. Also, I’m new in the area, so my attractive, intelligent, single friends are back in New York. Also, they’re male. Cheers, mischievous ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/38 "2008-10-28T15:59:43Z")
Wow, work’s sucked lately; I’m back to this thread pretty late. **mischievous:** > [@](#): > > Unfortunately, I have a firm policy of eliminating all sane people from my social circle. A sound policy if I’ve ever heard one. > [@](#): > > Also, they’re male. Hmph. An update, also: never heard back from either of my last-gasp mailees, but I _have_ gone out a couple of times with the girl I’d been e-mailing with for the last few months (and two years ahead of schedule!). Seems to be going pretty well so far. I’d still love more feedback on my profile, though, just in case. In lieu of the general “about me” stuff I’ve got a sort of ridiculous, rambling story that I have a sneaking suspicion drives off more interesting people than it draws in; **twickster** was okay with it, which makes me feel better, but a third or fourth opinion couldn’t hurt. I think I’ll create a dummy Match profile to allow people to see my real one, actually, so PM me if you want the details. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/39 "2008-10-28T16:06:15Z")
> [@Gadarene](#): > > . . my loose-ish criteria for age range, height range, and number of children (none). Why in the world do you have a height requirement? Are you 7’ 3" and can’t bend down to kiss women shorter than 5’ 10"? ETA: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962/40 "2008-10-28T16:48:42Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Well, so? Do you have a big nose, pug nose, roman nose, straight nose, you’re straight but your nose is bent out of shape, eh eh eh? > > Inquiring minds want to be nosy! Nostrildamus predicted in 1407 that you’d find the woman of your dreams in 2011. Be patient !!! It’s in the stars !!! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-proverbial-sea-has-now-been-fished-online-dating-and-me/467962.md?page=3)