# The psychology of punctual people vs late people according to lisalan **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 8, 2011, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875 "2011-01-08T13:58:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![iamnotbatman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@iamnotbatman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamnotbatman)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/221 "2011-01-11T18:12:00Z")
> [@LilyoftheField](#): > > Well, I’m not sure I agree with that assessment - there seems to be a lot of hyperbole flying around this thread. Your statement that ‘being inconsiderate chronically is generally not a good sign’ seems pretty restrained and non judgmental in comparison. > 🙂 I’m genuinely not sure that, on the point he was addressing, anyone was more hyperbolic than: _That they are INCONSIDERATE and thus not worth the carbon molecules they are composed of because they tend to run late?_ I don’t think anyone ever equated being inconsiderate with being worthless as a human being. Of course I could be wrong. This is the SDMB. In any case I did not use such hyperbole. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheField](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@LilyoftheField](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheField)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/222 "2011-01-11T18:21:17Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > It is a complete and utter moral failing that reduces the person’s use in this world and their value as a human being. that’s not hyperbole?? devaluing someone’s worth ‘as a human being’ because they are chronically late? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/223 "2011-01-11T18:28:30Z")
> [@LilyoftheField](#): > > that’s not hyperbole?? devaluing someone’s worth ‘as a human being’ because they are chronically late? :eek: Strictly speaking, that is a true statement. Dishonesty, unreliability, and the inability to navigate the space-time continuum as well as others is a both a failing and a handicap. It does devalue a person’s worth in the world other things being equal. It certainly doesn’t enhance it. ---
**Author:** ![iamnotbatman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@iamnotbatman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamnotbatman)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/224 "2011-01-11T18:28:56Z")
> [@LilyoftheField](#): > > that’s not hyperbole?? devaluing someone’s worth ‘as a human being’ because they are chronically late? :eek: HAH! Of course you are right. That is some hyperbole. Luckily I didn’t say it. As Shagnasty points out, it does have a grain of truth to it. ---
**Author:** ![godix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/278dde/32.png) [@godix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godix)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/225 "2011-01-11T18:31:24Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > I don’t know what you mean here. You said you don’t think your time has importance to anyone other than you. This thread is full of posts of people claiming that being late means the late guy doesn’t think the other persons time is valuable. Congrats, you and the late person agree on something. Why the fuss that someone agrees with you? > [@](#): > > Perhaps this answers it. It is an asymmetric relationship. The person who is late holds the power to screw up the plans of the many. Perhaps the answer is that people have pet peeves. Mine is people who add IE or Y to the end of names that don’t have it already. Yours is people being late. The difference is, I don’t think shortening Robert to Robbie makes someone narcissistic or morally inferior. I just think their name sounds stupid that way, perhaps mutter a little under my breath, and move on. On the other hand, you think people are narcissistic, morally inferior, etc just because not everyone will play your reindeer games. Honestly, I’d rather deal with the late guy than someone so damned judgmental. At least the late guy won’t be bad mouthing me and calling me morally inferior over such a stupid and trivial issue. ---
**Author:** ![Grapefruit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@Grapefruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grapefruit)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/226 "2011-01-11T18:42:36Z")
> [@iamnotbatman](#): > > The point is that they would never become friends with such people in the first place. You think it’s valid reasoning for your argument, but it actually confirms mine. How do you know they are “such people” without making plans with them and getting to know them in the first place? > [@](#): > > Inconsistent are we? “I have to assume there are no other redeeming qualities…” Not at all. See original post plus extended explanation on rigidity in lifestyle. Mostly, see example of everyone wanting pizza but because they have their mind set on Chinese, they can’t work around that. Hell, I spelled it out for you, so if you can’t understand what I’m saying the first time the first time you read it, reread it. Then again, you said I was propping up a strawman, so it’s not valid, right? > [@](#): > > Would you please give some examples of said “latecomers’ motivations” please? Blind as a bat, or deliberately obtuse? Is this going to devolve into one of those “Prove what I said!” and then “I didn’t mean it like that!” threads? See post #167 (your own post, at that) and my quoted portion of your post in #209. You’re so specific in assigning their quality of inconsideration, you even wrote out what they were thinking and would say! > [@](#): > > And again, I don’t think anyone here is calling your mother inconsiderate. **We simply have never met her.** Oh hell, you reiterate my points so well, why am I even posting? > [@](#): > > Settle down there Grapefruit. Is this the equivalent of when my ex would say “Stop being so emotional! Your argument doesn’t make sense when you get like that!” to invalidate my points? Lest you or anyone else think I’m gnashing my teeth over this, I’m not. Although, I can see how it’s hard to hear the tone of my words on a message board. Like I said before, I used to be uptight about timeliness, but then I expanded my horizons and have learned to relax and not get worked up over things I can’t change about other people. If it doesn’t please you to get to the bottom of their chronic lateness because it’s your deal breaker, so be it. Yes, there are cases where they have no redeeming qualities, and it does boil down to them thinking your time is worthless. But how do you know that when you never become friends with them in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![iamnotbatman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@iamnotbatman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamnotbatman)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/227 "2011-01-11T18:44:12Z")
Let’s back up here **godix** – I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt here for a moment and assume you haven’t assimilated the discussion yet. You equate being late to pet peeves like “people who add IE or Y to the end of names that don’t have it already”. You imply that the only difference between the two is interpretational. Am I missing something, or do you genuinely believe that, for example, adding IE or Y to the end of a name that doesn’t have it already is the same as standing someone up? In the former case, the only offense is to your sense of aesthetics. In the latter case, you are wasting someone’s time. That is time they might have wanted to spend with their children, or used to work overtime to make an extra 10 or 20 bucks. ---
**Author:** ![iamnotbatman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@iamnotbatman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamnotbatman)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/228 "2011-01-11T18:47:03Z")
Does anyone else think **Grapefruit** is making any sense? If so, I’ll respond to him. Otherwise I think he might need a time out. ---
**Author:** ![Grapefruit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@Grapefruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grapefruit)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/229 "2011-01-11T18:55:19Z")
> [@Skara\_Brae](#): > > Someone says they will meet you at 1pm for lunch. They don’t show up till 1:30. All you people who are chroncially late would be totally fine with that? Even if you had places to be later in the afternoon? That person is not being rude? Why aren’t they? They said they would be at a certain place at 1pm. They were not. They basically lied. Since you are friends, you already know about their chronic lateness. So when you want to have lunch at 1, why not say 12:30? If you’re of the mindset “Well, why should I accommodate their tardiness? It’s their bad quality, not mine!” then eat with them with whatever time you have left until you have to attend to your appointment and say “Wish we had more time, but I have to get going.” In this specific situation, I wouldn’t be fine as in “No worries, you’re still the most considerate person in the world” but I wouldn’t let their actions provoke me into a frenzy. > [@](#): > > I have a friend who is chronically late (well, I don’t see her much lately). She was a bridesmaid at my wedding. I was not really a “bridezilla” type, but I had one request. Please don’t be late for the rehersal, because the priest who married us was a real stickler and very uptight and he stressed that we all had to be on time. > > My friend …was thirty minutes late. “Sorry,” she said, “There was a ton of traffic.” This was at a seaside resort town in the summer. There is \*always \*tons of traffic. It wasn’t like there was a totally unexpected 6 car pileup on the freeway. > > I guess I should feel lucky though. She later missed another friend’s _entire wedding_. She should up right afterwards, as the reception was starting. Again, “traffic.” That would annoy me. Specifically because this is a special situation and even when you spelled it for her, she was late. I’ve never been married, so I don’t know, would there be a lot of backlash if you told the chronically late “Being a bridesmaid requires punctuality, since you don’t have this quality in all the time I’ve known you, I’ll have to ask another girl”? ---
**Author:** ![Grapefruit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@Grapefruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grapefruit)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/230 "2011-01-11T19:04:27Z")
> [@iamnotbatman](#): > > Does anyone else think **Grapefruit** is making any sense? If so, I’ll respond to him. Otherwise I think he might need a time out. LOL again. > [@Grapefruit](#): > > it’s the typical response to what the internet people call PWNED. Oh, and I just realized my “hyperbole” was discussed extensively. As you seem to be lacking in comprehension… it was meant as a question to clarify your statement on people’s denial. What are they in denial about? I’ll happily retract my “hyperbole” if you can offer a response. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheField](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@LilyoftheField](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheField)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/231 "2011-01-11T19:07:33Z")
> [@iamnotbatman](#): > > HAH! Of course you are right. I’ll stop reading right here - being as I’m a narcissist (damn! that word gets harder to spell every time!), I really don’t need to hear any more, do I? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![godix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/278dde/32.png) [@godix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godix)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/232 "2011-01-11T19:12:47Z")
> [@iamnotbatman](#): > > You equate being late to pet peeves like “people who add IE or Y to the end of names that don’t have it already”. You imply that the only difference between the two is interpretational. For the most part, that is the difference. In neither case is the other person doing it to annoy it. In many cases, they don’t even know it annoys you. Instead, you interpret it as annoying. It’s YOUR issue with how you view it, not the other persons issue with how they intend it. > [@](#): > > Am I missing something, or do you genuinely believe that, for example, adding IE or Y to the end of a name that doesn’t have it already is the same as standing someone up? Perhaps it’s a difference in slang, but I always thought standing someone up was if you don’t show up at all. > [@](#): > > That is time they might have wanted to spend with their children, or used to work overtime to make an extra 10 or 20 bucks. The thing is, if you know that person is always late then you knew you didn’t have to show up on time either. You could have used that time with children or earning extra money. Instead you choose to show up somewhere when you KNEW the other person wouldn’t be there. Again, your issue, not theirs. ---
**Author:** ![lisalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/0ea827/32.png) [@lisalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisalan)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/233 "2011-01-11T19:15:16Z")
> [@godix](#): > > For the most part, that is the difference. In neither case is the other person doing it to annoy it. In many cases, they don’t even know it annoys you. Instead, you interpret it as annoying. It’s YOUR issue with how you view it, not the other persons issue with how they intend it. > Perhaps it’s a difference in slang, but I always thought standing someone up was if you don’t show up at all. > The thing is, if you know that person is always late then you knew you didn’t have to show up on time either. You could have used that time with children or earning extra money. Instead you choose to show up somewhere when you KNEW the other person wouldn’t be there. Again, your issue, not theirs. Wow. Five pages of replies. I’ve created a monster thread. The late person might not be doing it to annoy you because most people who are always late are very narcissistic. If they realized that being late annoys and inonveniences people they would be on time. Problem is they don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![Grapefruit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@Grapefruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grapefruit)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/234 "2011-01-11T19:43:31Z")
> [@lisalan](#): > > Wow. Five pages of replies. I’ve created a monster thread. > The late person might not be doing it to annoy you because most people who are always late are very narcissistic. If they realized that being late annoys and inonveniences people they would be on time. Problem is they don’t care. I have to ask, though some have asked already, specifically for your situation with your husband, how have you let him know you’re annoyed aside from seething quietly in your car with the kids? I don’t know your husband, so I don’t know what would work for him… but when he says he still has time, can you not say “No. You do not have time for the computer. What you have time for is helping me with the kids before you get ready.” ---
**Author:** ![Skara\_Brae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Skara\_Brae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skara_Brae)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/235 "2011-01-11T19:53:05Z")
> [@Grapefruit](#): > > I have to ask, though some have asked already, specifically for your situation with your husband, how have you let him know you’re annoyed aside from seething quietly in your car with the kids? > > I don’t know your husband, so I don’t know what would work for him… but when he says he still has time, can you not say “No. You do not have time for the computer. What you have time for is helping me with the kids before you get ready.” > [@Grapefruit](#): > > Since you are friends, you already know about their chronic lateness. So when you want to have lunch at 1, why not say 12:30? If you’re of the mindset “Well, why should I accommodate their tardiness? It’s their bad quality, not mine!” then eat with them with whatever time you have left until you have to attend to your appointment and say “Wish we had more time, but I have to get going.” In this specific situation, I wouldn’t be fine as in “No worries, you’re still the most considerate person in the world” but I wouldn’t let their actions provoke me into a frenzy. The thing is, why should she have to? Why should I have to tell my chronically late friend to be there a half hour before I want to meet them? Does everyone have to baby them or manipulate them? Are they not both adults? Why can’t they be ready at a time **they have agreed to**? (And yes, I normally leave when I have to leave even if they are late, because I keep my committments. But I did just waste a half hour of my day) ---
**Author:** ![lisalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/0ea827/32.png) [@lisalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisalan)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/236 "2011-01-11T19:53:39Z")
> [@Grapefruit](#): > > I have to ask, though some have asked already, specifically for your situation with your husband, how have you let him know you’re annoyed aside from seething quietly in your car with the kids? > > I don’t know your husband, so I don’t know what would work for him… but when he says he still has time, can you not say “No. You do not have time for the computer. What you have time for is helping me with the kids before you get ready.” I’ve tried everything and he is fully aware of how much it irritates me but I can’t get him to change. I guess it’s like asking an early person to be late. You just can’t do it. Trust me I’m not seething quietly in the car. I let him know how much it irritates me. The last thing I am is quiet. when he gets upset he resorts to the silent treatment and there is nothing I hate more than that. Drives mu up the wall. ---
**Author:** ![iamnotbatman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@iamnotbatman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamnotbatman)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/237 "2011-01-11T19:56:20Z")
[Although no one responded in the positive that Grapefruit has been making enough sense to warrant a response … he is making it so easy for me I can’t help myself] Because it is such a hoot, and speaks for itself, let me start off by literally cutting and pasting the complete paragraph that you last left us with: > [@Grapefruit](#): > > Is this the equivalent of when my ex would say “Stop being so emotional! Your argument doesn’t make sense when you get like that!” to invalidate my points? Lest you or anyone else think I’m gnashing my teeth over this, I’m not. Although, I can see how it’s hard to hear the tone of my words on a message board. Like I said before, I used to be uptight about timeliness, but then I expanded my horizons and have learned to relax and not get worked up over things I can’t change about other people. If it doesn’t please you to get to the bottom of their chronic lateness because it’s your deal breaker, so be it. Yes, there are cases where they have no redeeming qualities, and it does boil down to them thinking your time is worthless. But how do you know that when you never become friends with them in the first place? I appreciate how you have “expanded your horizons and learned to relax and not get worked up” about these things. This is clearly apparent. As you humbly reflected earlier in this thread: > [@Grapefruit](#): > > As I got older though, I’ve learned to relax and pick my battles And you know what? It shows, and I applaud your maturity. You know, I think I could tell, the moment you started using all caps and LOL and PWND, around the same time you kindly offered to help clarify things for me given my problematic mental capacity. That was when it first became clear to me that you had really, as you said, had “grown up”, and risen above the fray. _sigh_ What do we have next, oh OK: > [@Grapefruit](#): > > You think it’s valid reasoning for your argument, but it actually confirms mine. How do you know they are “such people” without making plans with them and getting to know them in the first place? We did make plans. That is actually the entire point of this thread. Did you notice? Making plans, and not making good on them. And of course, part of getting to know people is noticing how considerate they are of other people. If they are repeatedly inconsiderate of other people, it’s a pretty big minus in the budding friendship department. > [@Grapefruit](#): > > Not at all. Funny how I literally spelled out the inconsistency and you still didn’t get it. > [@Grapefruit](#): > > Blind as a bat, or deliberately obtuse? Is this going to devolve into one of those “Prove what I said!” and then “I didn’t mean it like that!” threads? See post #167 (your own post, at that) and my quoted portion of your post in #209. You’re so specific in assigning their quality of inconsideration, you even wrote out what they were thinking and would say! So, the “latecomers’ motivations” you provided were my own, which were meant specifically to exemplify the opposite of your point. OK… let’s go with those. Here are those examples of “latecomers’ motivations”, which you assert, and I quote, are not “OMG SO SELFISH”: \*“We need to leave in 5 minutes.” “Nah, I would rather spend 10 minutes reading and replying on SDMB.” “It is a 5 minute walk to get there, so we should be on time.” “Ohhh, look at that purse in the window! I have to get it.” “Set your alarm for 7am” “Nah, I would rather sleep until the last possible minute and risk being late.” “We have to go dear, don’t answer the phone” [Picks up phone anyways] “Oh hi Bill, long time no hear!” [she whispers] “Tell him you’ll call him back later this evening” [But he keeps talking for 15 minutes]\* In all cases, of course, selfishness at the expense of others is what is being displayed. It is selfish, for example, to buy a purse when you know that it will make you late. You could buy the purse after your appointment, or some other time. > [@Grapefruit](#): > > Oh hell, you reiterate my points so well, why am I even posting? Let’s examine this, shall we? You said: _I point you to my first post where I describe my mother’s inability to get organized. Believe it or not, although the result is the same, the motivation is not as you point out that she lacks consideration._ I said: _And again, I don’t think anyone here is calling your mother inconsiderate. We simply have never met her._ You said: _Oh hell, you reiterate my points so well, why am I even posting?_ Did I now? > [@Grapefruit](#): > > Oh, and I just realized my “hyperbole” was discussed extensively. As you seem to be lacking in comprehension… it was meant as a question to clarify your statement on people’s denial. What are they in denial about? I’ll happily retract my “hyperbole” if you can offer a response. Sure thing! If someone close to you is inconsiderate, then defensively making excuses for their behavior is a form of denial. Being inconsiderate is not a positive trait. Nonetheless, some people, as you conveniently wrote in description of yourself “learned a few methods of coping.” Fair enough. No one is perfect, and sometimes you have to look past negative qualities in order to get some jollies. I understand that. But if you are intellectually honest, and not in denial, then you will be able to admit that being chronically inconsiderate is a negative quality, and in this context probably indicative of narcissism (for the other options see my first post in this thread, [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13333172&postcount=69)). ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/238 "2011-01-11T19:57:26Z")
> [@LilyoftheField](#): > > This is where we draw the line on morality?? You’re punctual, I’m not so I am ipso facto ‘morally inferior’? :eek: Good grief. And to think that all this time I thought that I had high moral standards because I saved myself for marriage! Because I’m a law abiding citizen! Because I haven’t killed anyone, or even just punched them in the face! What a fool I was! :smack: None of that so called morality counts for anything next to this - its all about punctuality! Because of course, there is no other way for a person to be selfish, right? Or immoral? Or inconsiderate? At least I’m assuming that there must be no other way, because so many here seem to be throwing out accusations of selfishness, laziness, immorality and narcissism, as though none of these traits could possibly apply to them! How could they? After all, they’re punctual! And isn’t that all that really matters? > > Well, you can bet that from now on, I am going to start making allowances for the time its going to take me to dump the litter of kittens into the trash can and pitch the puppies into the river, just to make sure I make my appointment on time! I have seen the error of my ways! > > (But wait…can I avoid eternal damnation if I accept Jesus as my savior while still being chronically late? This is all so confusing… 😕 ) Hmmm, I’m sure you realise I’m not claiming that all morality stems from punctuality. If all other personal traits being the same, yes, the late person is a thoughtless and inconsiderate person and I feel morally superior to them. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/239 "2011-01-11T20:10:10Z")
> [@godix](#): > > You said you don’t think your time has importance to anyone other than you. This thread is full of posts of people claiming that being late means the late guy doesn’t think the other persons time is valuable. Congrats, you and the late person agree on something. Why the fuss that someone agrees with you? Very illuminating. You see when I commit to meeting someone, even though the other person’s time is important only to them, for the purpose of the meeting I make it important to me too. I put their needs and expectations over mine, I go out of my way to be considerate because I think it is net benefit to society when the majority of people try to do that. > [@](#): > > On the other hand, you think people are narcissistic, morally inferior, etc just because not everyone will play your reindeer games. Honestly, I’d rather deal with the late guy than someone so damned judgmental. At least the late guy won’t be bad mouthing me and calling me morally inferior over such a stupid and trivial issue. I’ll judge them all right and I’ll know I can’t trust them to be there on time. I won’t bad mouth them though. I’d just mark them down as the sort of person who is thoughtless, inconsiderate and rude. Which they would be. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheField](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@LilyoftheField](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheField)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2011, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/240 "2011-01-11T20:13:32Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > Hmmm, I’m sure you realise I’m not claiming that all morality stems from punctuality. > > If all other personal traits being the same, yes, the late person is a thoughtless and inconsiderate person and I feel morally superior to them. I don’t realize anything of the sort since that’s not what you said. What you said is, if I’m a chronically late person than I am morally inferior to you. That IS what you said, right? As far as ‘all other personality traits being the same’ - what does that even mean??? I’m not following your reasoning here. That you can assume that since I am usually late, then I must therefore be thoughtless and inconsiderate in all other areas of my life as well? Is that what you’re saying? And therefore the converse would be equally true - since you are punctual and reliable, that means that you are always thoughtful and considerate in all other areas of your life? Enlighten me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875.md?page=13)