# The psychology of punctual people vs late people according to lisalan **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 8, 2011, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875 "2011-01-08T13:58:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![godix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/278dde/32.png) [@godix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godix)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/301 "2011-01-14T10:33:42Z")
> [@iamnotbatman](#): > > **godix** – I have already addressed each of your points previously in great detail, including the use of the word “victim”. [READ](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13351494&postcount=294). Similarly with the dis-organizational issues. [READ](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13351494&postcount=294). > > One of the points I have also repeatedly addressed is this notion of “raging at 1 minute late.” [Here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13345024&postcount=266), for example. You are simply wrong, and as far as I can tell, NOT READING PRIOR POSTS. Us morally inferior schizophrenics with severe depression, ADHD, drug problems, brain damage, low IQ, self loathing, no motivation, inconsiderate, rude, socially inept, no empathy, and self centered folks are also fairly illiterate. You can’t expect a moron who’s on drugs and has no morals or motivation to be capable of learning how to read after all. ---
**Author:** ![iamnotbatman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@iamnotbatman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamnotbatman)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/302 "2011-01-14T11:12:19Z")
Thank you for helping prove our point by example. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/303 "2011-01-14T18:40:13Z")
> [@LilyoftheField](#): > > For the most part, I don’t see that the ‘lateness’ per se is being defended so much as the mental/emotional leap that is being made from ‘you’re late!’ to ‘you are a disgrace to humanity, with no redeeming social value!’ Nobody’s saying they have not redeeming value–just that they’re not as good a person as they would be if they had a little consideration for others and could bring themselves to put in the effort to be on time. All this flailing and howling about things nobody’s saying is getting more than a little ridiculous. > [@LilyoftheField](#): > > Ask me to meet you at 1 for a lunch date, well…I’ll be there, but I may be a little late. 🙂 Well, that’s fine. So long as you understand that I have a life outside of you and will only wait so long for you to grace me with your presence before I leave and get on with said life. 🙂 > [@godix](#): > > Us morally inferior schizophrenics with severe depression, ADHD, drug problems, brain damage, low IQ, self loathing, no motivation, inconsiderate, rude, socially inept, no empathy, and self centered folks are also fairly illiterate. You can’t expect a moron who’s on drugs and has no morals or motivation to be capable of learning how to read after all. Look, if something, _anything_ is massively harder for you than it is for everyone else, that’s usually a sign that there’s something else going on. Some sort of organic issue, some sort of emotional issue, some sort of situational issue…_something._ If it’s not massively harder for you that it is for the rest of us, and you just can’t be arsed to put in the same effort everyone around you does, what would _you_ call that? ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheField](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@LilyoftheField](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheField)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/304 "2011-01-14T19:48:06Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Nobody’s saying they have not redeeming value–just that they’re not as good a person as they would be if they had a little consideration for others and could bring themselves to put in the effort to be on time. All this flailing and howling about things nobody’s saying is getting more than a little ridiculous. Wait, what??? ‘Ridiculous’? Oh, okay - my bad. Nobody actually used the phrase ‘no redeeming social value’. All that was said was ‘weakness of character’, ‘selfish and/or narcissistic’, ‘morally inferior’, ‘personality disorder’ and ‘reduced value as a human being’ - to mention a few. No self-righteous sanctimonious judgments there. Yeah, a lot of ‘flailing and howling about things nobody’s saying’…gotcha. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/305 "2011-01-14T21:01:54Z")
> [@LilyoftheField](#): > > Wait, what??? ‘Ridiculous’? Oh, okay - my bad. Nobody actually used the phrase ‘no redeeming social value’. All that was said was ‘weakness of character’, ‘selfish and/or narcissistic’, ‘morally inferior’, ‘personality disorder’ and ‘reduced value as a human being’ - to mention a few. No self-righteous sanctimonious judgments there. > > Yeah, a lot of ‘flailing and howling about things nobody’s saying’…gotcha. :dubious: OK, what would you call a person that regularly doesn’t follow through on agreements that they make? And in doing so, wastes the other person’s time. ---
**Author:** ![Sin\_Serially](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Sin\_Serially](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sin_Serially)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/306 "2011-01-15T01:41:35Z")
When I was working in a small town, I was sweeping the front porch in the town square. It was also the only place in town that had a bar. I was engaged by an enlisted man who asked me a question. He was obviously drunk, and he asked anyway “If your friend was 30 minutes late to a movie would you still go in”? I responded that I “would definitely go in” and he got really pissed. He got very close to me and said that “you never leave a man behind”. I wasn’t sure if he was serious, but he made it clear that he was. Even so, I told him that I didn’t serve, and if my friend couldn’t find his way into a theater he was either chasing some tail or dumber than I thought. Either way I wasn’t going to wait for him. Yeah I was being a smartass, but that’s my default to weird questions. The thing was, he thought about it, and agreed with me in the end. (I said he was drunk) After an awkward handshake he told me to “stay real”. That’s my punctuality story, even though nobody asked for it. For some actual relevance to this thread however, I say this: “Show up when you say you are going to or you are going to be considered rude”. That’s it. If you are late for a social situation, it’s rude. If you are late to your job, you are professionally mistaken. If you are late to school, you are educationally irresponsible. And if you’re actually late, well you know the joke. ---
**Author:** ![flower88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bcef8e/32.png) [@flower88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flower88)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/307 "2013-12-14T04:02:37Z")
I think there is a reasonable amount of time that one can wait for another. I grew up in a family where my folks worked long hours and did many kind things for a variety of people, always putting others before themselves. In result, sometimes they may have been 45 minutes late picking my brothers and I up from an extracurricular activity, which they all the while, were able to get us to, after a house call for example, which many doctors don’t even do anymore. I think stating that ANYONE who is late is not dependable or is disrespectful is completely barbaric. There are many kind, caring, giving people who end up spending time with others and may get a little carried away so they end up showing up for their next event a bit later because they were busy trying to give thieir previous friend, family member, client, patient etc the amount of time that they felt they deserved instead of cutting the time short. In a similar vein, life is too short to sweat the small stuff. If you are going to question someone’s moral character based on their ability to show up to an event right at the time you asked, then you need to look deep inside yourself and figure out why you are so annoyed by this. It is probably a result of upbringing. I was always taught that everyone has their story, and things happen. THe best thing you can do if you are running late for something is to give someone the heads up, and if they are a good person, they will understand. Some of the most dependable people I know are those that don’t always show up right on the dot. That is typically because they were trying to at least show face at a few friend or family events before making it to me. People who try to find a way to be there for whoever they can, even if it means squeezing in a bunch of different events in one day are the friends that I like to have. It means no matter what, I can count on that person to show up for something that is important to me, if I am truly in need, no matter what time it may be. Punctual people who are anal about time wouldn’t feel it was possible and would be too worried about showing up a bit late that they would miss out on an important event just because they would be upset about their own moral character without realizing that not showing up at all makes them look worse. ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/308 "2013-12-14T04:08:59Z")
Would it be rude of me to point out that you’re nearly 3 years late to this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/309 "2013-12-14T06:50:52Z")
> [@flower88](#): > > I think there is a reasonable amount of time that one can wait for another. > [@Xema](#): > > Would it be rude of me to point out that you’re nearly 3 years late to this thread? There’s gotta be some kind of karma at work here . . . ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/310 "2013-12-14T13:00:27Z")
I waited about a year for **flower88** to join us; then I got pissed off and left. Never again. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Jamicat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jamicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamicat)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2013, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/311 "2013-12-14T19:56:35Z")
Are we talking ABSOLUTE TIME, REAL TIME or RELATIVE TIME? Radio, Live TV, etc…is Absolute Time: You arrive with enough time to prep/makeup what ever you need to do prior to show time. You can be late in the prep time area but not the Show Time area. Retail/Restaurant are Real Time: You have to take calls/customers soon as the clock tick’s open time. You get pissed off people outside if you don’t open on time. So, you arrive early enough to turn on the lights and other prep work before you actually open. You can be late during prep time area but not the open the store area. Business non customer service is Relative Time: The widget can get made the same if it’s at 8:00 on the dot or 8:15, it doesn’t matter, it’s not a ticking time bomb, you can be late in Relative Time. Trains, Planes, Buses, Movie Theaters, etc… with a Departure/Show time is Absolute time. Don’t be Late. Drinks, Dinner, Art Museum etc with Clients is Real time. Not wise to be late here. Drinks, Dinner, Art Museum etc with Friends is Relative Time, it’s Ok to be fashionably late to an extent. Drinks, Dinner, Art Museum etc by yourself…pfft do it when ever you get there. I think the idea is that if someone is waiting for you, don’t be an ass. Be on time. I hate time clocks and im always late to work, but it doesn’t matter to me cause it’s always in relative time. Im never late when it matters…I dont make people wait on me…funny though it’s everyone else that is late in those cirrcumstances. :rolleyes: \*this is just an outline, there’s way more to it all ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/312 "2013-12-15T13:25:05Z")
I’m not clear on Real Time vs Absolute Time. ---
**Author:** ![Jamicat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jamicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamicat)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/313 "2013-12-15T15:54:01Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > I’m not clear on Real Time vs Absolute Time. I was just defining between the two by how much leeway you have, a few seconds versus a few minutes…and the other relative time being way more lax than that. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/314 "2013-12-15T22:43:09Z")
When I was studying Spanish, we learned about “Mexican Time”, which appeared to be “Scheduled Time+15 to 30 minutes” In English, the expression would be “Fashionably Late” ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/315 "2013-12-16T00:57:00Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > When I was studying Spanish, we learned about “Mexican Time” When I was a dime-bag buying teen growing up around ghettos, I learned about another sort of “time” to describe waiting _forever_ for the weed man; who, of course, was always “right down the street”. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Lt.Skooma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47774/32.png) [@Lt.Skooma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lt.Skooma)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/316 "2014-07-11T02:10:52Z")
When tardiness has become a regular pattern with someone, they are indeed being disrespectful and inconsiderate of other people’s time. In situations where being chronically late involves more evident consequences (e.g. getting fired, catching a flight) I am confident that most chronically tardy people can muster up the motivation to be punctual when they may be personally inconvenienced by the consequences. The obvious thing is, is that tardiness can be fixed. Simply leave earlier than you would normally and take the time to do a little quick planning and adjust until you are able to consistently arrive on time. So the solution is easy and I find it hard to believe that chronically tardy people are completely oblivious to their fault. So they are aware of it, and fixing it when the solution is simple indicates apathy toward others’ time, which is disrespectful, and also that you can not honor your commitments. This is not the problem of those who have complained of the tardiness of others. I have seen a weak defense of tardiness posted inferring that the punctual person’s expectations are to rigid and I have even seen righteous indignation about it to the effect of “why don’t you stop making everyone snap to your schedule.” Which is laughable, because the appointment time was a mutual agreement by all parties involved including the tardy people. So again, it is simply a case of not adhering to your commitments. It also is extremely selfish. People that are late but not chronically tardy will usually feel remorse and embarrassment, and will at least call ahead. the chronically tardy doesn’t care, is defensive, and in no way will lift a finger to mitigate a disrespectful, inconsiderate, passively aggressive, selfish habit unless it personally caused them difficulties. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/317 "2014-07-11T02:13:49Z")
Heh. Crypotnite. Heh heh. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/318 "2014-07-11T02:37:25Z")
Yeah. That’s what I was thinking, too. I’d probably have gotten around to saying something about it sooner or later. Would this be a good place to celebrate National Procrastination Week? I think it’s the first week in March. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/319 "2014-07-11T08:42:46Z")
Ironically, that reply was rather delayed relative to the rest of the conversation. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/320 "2014-07-11T12:33:45Z")
What does it say about a person who goes to the trouble of posting on the internet without checking the spelling of words? Not sure? Google it. Even worse are those who know their spelling is suspect and just slap on a “(sp?)”—you could have checked the spelling in the amount of time it took to write that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875.md?page=17)