# The psychology of punctual people vs late people according to lisalan **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 8, 2011, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875 "2011-01-08T13:58:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/81 "2011-01-09T13:59:30Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Keeping in mind that I’m generally very punctual, saving for poo blowouts as previously mentioned, this post strikes me as unnecessarily uptight. It’s great if you do this as a habit, but if you expect your friends to actually be 10 minutes earlier than the appointed time - well - that’s your problem and it’s not they who are rude if they show up at 11:55 or 12:00 Noon and you make a stink. Even 12:04 seems pretty reasonable. I have two little ones as well and having a blowout right before you leave and being even 10-15 minutes late I’m not going to say anything about. That’s almost to be expected in some cases. However, my soon to be ex is always late when it came to my family, always. We normally wouldn’t even leave until we were supposed to be somewhere that was 30 minutes away. It showed, to me, a lack of caring for my family. Over the holidays she kept telling me that her family expected her to be somewhere at 2:30, which I knew to be wrong, and she was exactly on time to pick the kids up. She’s just found a new man too and a few months ago when it was time to drop off the kids she’d be 15-30 minutes late. Now, when she has a date she’s exactly on time. I know in her case she doesn’t care what I think about being on time, she never has. If it benefits her then she’ll be there, if not she doesn’t care. I try my best to be on time, which for me means being five minutes early. Yesterday I was supposed to meet someone and I was four minutes late and I was upset about it. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/82 "2011-01-09T14:13:46Z")
We missed a wedding - yes, the entire wedding - because we were foolish enough to agree to ride with our constantly late friend. For some reason we never understood, he felt it was critical that he stop enroute to picking us up to buy something that wasn’t necessary for the wedding and certainly could have been purchased afterwards. Naturally, that evolution took longer than he’d expected. And once he picked us up, the ride to the wedding venue took longer than he’d thought. And when we got there, parking was quite difficult. I think we walked in for the toasts at the reception. Oh yeah, and he had agreed to videotape the ceremony for the bride… Same friend invited to husband’s surprise birthday party. I have no idea what happened, but he showed up half an hour after we’d all yelled “surprise!!” By that time, we’d learned not to wait for him for anything. Now we live about 800 miles away and haven’t seen him in over a decade. Life is so much better. I will admit to being an obsessively early person, for everything. I wind up waiting and I know it’s my fault. I deal with it. I’ll allow a 5-10 minute slack for those I’m meeting, because I know stuff happens. But in a day when everyone I know has a cell phone, there is absolutely no excuse (OK, being carted to a hospital in an ambulance is acceptable) for not calling. I will be seated for the opening curtain, with or without you. I will take my dinner reservation on schedule. And I will make my flight. If you don’t make it, well, sorry. Maybe next time… ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/83 "2011-01-09T14:17:41Z")
For me it depends. I get to work on time, and to hearings early. I usually do a pretty good job on being there on time when meeting friends at a restaurant or another location. If we are going to be late, we call everybody to let them know. Most of my friends do the same. I will generally show up a few minutes late to someone else’s house. If they are having a party, we show up a half hour late in order to not be the first person. My exception to the rule is my in-laws. They are chronically late and tardy even when meeting at a restaurant. After that, I made it a point to not show up on time when meeting them. ---
**Author:** ![lisalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/0ea827/32.png) [@lisalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisalan)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/84 "2011-01-09T14:32:08Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > Hello, my name is **Raguleader** , and I… I’m chronically running late. ☹ > > (Hello **Raguleader** ) > > _taking a sip from sytrofoam cup of coffee_ Sorry for being late to this meeting of Tardiness Anonymous, but I guess you know how it can be. I can’t say that I choose to be late, in fact, I get annoyed whenever I do end up late for whatever reason. I think it has more to do with the way my mind works than anything else (which I guess would make it a “character flaw”). I know where Point A is, and where Point B is, and roughly how long it takes to get between the two. > > However, it seems like there is always a variety of little things that take longer than it really seems like they should. Shaving doesn’t take that long, getting into my uniform or putting my boots on shouldn’t take that long, hell, getting from my dorm room outside to the parking lot shouldn’t take that long. So why do I say “Hah, made it!” every time I get into my office just before the minute hand strikes the top of the clock? > > Well, obviously, I’m not starting early enough. I _should_ be starting with my shaving and getting dressed 15 or 20 minutes earlier to make up the difference. I should also be going to bed at 9 or 10PM instead of 2AM like I always do. It seems worth noting that I am also typically the last person to make it out of the office after closing time. I’m not usually _working_ any later than anyone else is, it seems that I’m just slower by nature. > > I also have a tendency to procrastinate and put things off even when I know better. It doesn’t make any sense, and I will angst over it while procrastinating (which of course makes even less sense.) I dunno, maybe I need to get some of that Adderall stuff, maybe the next motivating boot up my ass from my superiors will do the trick. I keep all this in mind and do my best to adapt for it. The result is, if I’m not running late or getting there in the ta-DAH nick of time, I’m showing up twenty minutes early and just waiting around for all the punctual people to grace me with their presence. I don’t really mind waiting (because, as mentioned, I’m early), but I always feel like a doof when I do it. > > Now, let’s address a different issue that the OP reminds me of. People who don’t bother to spell common words like _kryptonite_ give the impression that they don’t care enough about the task to pay close enough attention to detail, and are thus unreliable for important tasks. (I keed, I keed, just needling ya. :D) More hositility from the late people:rolleyes: You know what I find even more annoying than late people? It’s people who feel the need to point out other people’s TYPOS/spelling on an internet message board. I have a feeling that it makes them feel more intelligent than they really are:rolleyes: Of course, like you, I’m JUST JOKING. ---
**Author:** ![lisalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/0ea827/32.png) [@lisalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisalan)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/85 "2011-01-09T14:42:00Z")
Let me give you an example of lateness that drives me insane. Me: “Mr.lisalan we need to be at your parents for dinner at 5:00. It’s 4:30 and you haven’t even taken a shower yet.” Him: "I’m going…I’m going ( as he surfs the web) While he takes a shower I get all 3 of my young kids into their coats and pack them all up in the minivan ON MY OWN. The baby is heavy in that infant car seat. So It’s 4:50 and I’m in the car with the kids all ready to go…Mr. Lisalan comes out of the house at 5:30. So I’m stuck waiting in the car with the kids for 40 minutes!!! Late people. Don’t tell me that isn’t narcisstic or selfish because it is. This happens more often than not several times a month. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/86 "2011-01-09T14:58:42Z")
> [@firstname](#): > > Now that I realise just how much it annoys people when I’m late I assure you I’ll be late far more often. Yeah, _that_’ll definitely convince everyone that chronic lateness isn’t a passive-aggressive indication that you don’t give a shit about other people. ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/87 "2011-01-09T15:53:24Z")
One issue in this ancient - and probably unresolvable - debate is that punctual folks (like me) have trouble seeing what significant benefit the chronically tardy derive from that behavior. Preparation and travel require much the same amount of effort and time whether you’re 25 minutes late or on time. In many cases (some mentioned in this thread) the answer seems to be simply an abstract sense that they are free from “slavery” to the clock and to society’s petty and tiresome notions as to what is proper behavior. To the punctual, this seems inadequate - I don’t see why 25 minutes of my time should routinely be sacrificed to your vague notions of freedom. If you want to live your life as a free spirit, fine - but don’t expect me to smile when this plan involves regularly poking your friends in the eye. I’m sure there are exceptions, but I have never noted any unusual tolerance for delay among the chronically tardy - when they are kept waiting, they are just as annoyed as any punctual person. Indeed, possibly more so - perhaps because they have less experience of this. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/88 "2011-01-09T16:22:13Z")
Pencil me in as one of the punctual folks. I’ve been at my job more than 20 years and I have been late maybe five times (and each time was because of a major traffic accident/delay). We used to sign in at the start of the workday. There were several co-workers who routinely showed up 10-15 minutes late, literally 9 out of 10 days. Of course they signed in as though they were on time. Around a year ago we began punching a clock. It was announced that tardiness would be monitored and disciplined, and it was. Guess what happened with the chronically late-comers. That’s right, suddenly every one of them found a way to get to work on time. Don’t try to tell me chronic tardiness is not a choice. mmm ---
**Author:** ![kapri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kapri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapri)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/89 "2011-01-09T16:28:20Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > A little tip for those with difficulty being there on time. > > Make a simple little note, mental or physical, of how long you estimate the various phases are going to take you. Dressing, showering, leaving the house, walking, driving etc. > You don’t need to do all of them at once, perhaps just concentrate on dressing first eh? > Now here is the clever bit. After completing that phase just take a second to note whether it took you longer or shorter than your estimate, and what might have caused that. > > AND THAT IS IT! you can now either alter your estimate in future or tackle the problems. > > Too much effort? well we know where we stand don’t we? We know that being early isn’t worth 30 seconds reflection on your part. That’s exactly what I **do** do. Doesn’t always work, though. Again, I’m late maybe half the time, and then only by a few minutes–less than say, 8, usually, and often only 3 or 4. And the odds of my being late for a morning appointment are vastly greater than for something that starts later in the day. I am just slow in the morning and find myself in a daze quite often. I might be putting on my makeup and then stop and stare at the wall and then realize a few minutes later that I’ve stopped putting on my makeup and that I’ve wasted some minutes. I gain energy as the day goes on, so the dazing stops and I can get ready in half the time it takes me in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![lisalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/0ea827/32.png) [@lisalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisalan)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/90 "2011-01-09T16:46:49Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Pencil me in as one of the punctual folks. I’ve been at my job more than 20 years and I have been late maybe five times (and each time was because of a major traffic accident/delay). > > We used to sign in at the start of the workday. There were several co-workers who routinely showed up 10-15 minutes late, literally 9 out of 10 days. Of course they signed in as though they were on time. > > Around a year ago we began punching a clock. It was announced that tardiness would be monitored and disciplined, and it was. > > Guess what happened with the chronically late-comers. That’s right, suddenly every one of them found a way to get to work on time. > > Don’t try to tell me chronic tardiness is not a choice. > > mmm Thanks for proving my point:D I have always suspected that being late is a choice. I said in another reply that the late people would get to work on time because it would result in NEGATIVE consequences for them such as getting fired. This shows how narcissitic late people are. They don’t care that others are waiting for them because there are no consequences sever enough for them to care. The most that is going to happen is that their friends will get annoyed at them. ---
**Author:** ![lisalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/0ea827/32.png) [@lisalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisalan)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/91 "2011-01-09T16:48:22Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Yeah, _that_’ll definitely convince everyone that chronic lateness isn’t a passive-aggressive indication that you don’t give a shit about other people. Took the words right out of my mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/92 "2011-01-09T16:50:52Z")
> [@lisalan](#): > > Let me give you an example of lateness that drives me insane. > Me: “Mr.lisalan we need to be at your parents for dinner at 5:00. It’s 4:30 and you haven’t even taken a shower yet.” > > Him: "I’m going…I’m going ( as he surfs the web) > > While he takes a shower I get all 3 of my young kids into their coats and pack them all up in the minivan ON MY OWN. The baby is heavy in that infant car seat. > > So It’s 4:50 and I’m in the car with the kids all ready to go…Mr. Lisalan comes out of the house at 5:30. So I’m stuck waiting in the car with the kids for 40 minutes!!! > > Late people. Don’t tell me that isn’t narcisstic or selfish because it is. > This happens more often than not several times a month. I am a prompt person. 5 minutes early for everything. Seven years ago, I met and fell in love with a man who has a much more flexible view of time. We’ve been late to a lot of things. I’ve discovered that 90% of the time, it really, really doesn’t matter. I save my ire and chiding for the incidents that do. This? Stewing in the car for 40 minutes several times a month does not sound healthy or well adjusted. It sounds passive aggressive and frankly selfish - what are you showing your kids about how a husband and wife relate to each other? And is there nothing else you could be doing with those 40 minutes than sitting in a cold car thinking about how inconsiderate he is? IF it really bothers you this much, the next time he’s this late for something very important and you’re in the car 40 minutes before he’s ready to leave, LEAVE WITHOUT HIM. Right now, by waiting, you’re enabling him. Yes there will be consequences. For him to have a reason to change, there have to be consequences that he’s not willing to deal with. You sitting in a car and being sulky is clearly not enough of a negative consequence for him to decide to be on time. Note **Mean Mr. Mustard** ’s post about how when there was a price to pay for being late, suddenly, all the tardy people weren’t late anymore. ---
**Author:** ![lisalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/0ea827/32.png) [@lisalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisalan)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/93 "2011-01-09T16:59:34Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > I am a prompt person. 5 minutes early for everything. Seven years ago, I met and fell in love with a man who has a much more flexible view of time. We’ve been late to a lot of things. I’ve discovered that 90% of the time, it really, really doesn’t matter. I save my ire and chiding for the incidents that do. > > This? Stewing in the car for 40 minutes several times a month does not sound healthy or well adjusted. It sounds passive aggressive and frankly selfish - what are you showing your kids about how a husband and wife relate to each other? And is there nothing else you could be doing with those 40 minutes than sitting in a cold car thinking about how inconsiderate he is? > > IF it really bothers you this much, the next time he’s this late for something very important and you’re in the car 40 minutes before he’s ready to leave, LEAVE WITHOUT HIM. Right now, by waiting, you’re enabling him. Yes there will be consequences. For him to have a reason to change, there have to be consequences that he’s not willing to deal with. You sitting in a car and being sulky is clearly not enough of a negative consequence for him to decide to be on time. Note **Mean Mr. Mustard** ’s post about how when there was a price to pay for being late, suddenly, all the tardy people weren’t late anymore. I have young children. Do you have any idea how long it takes to get them dressed and ready to go? I had them all ready and sitting in the car. What do you suggest I do take them all out of the car, bring them inside take off their coats, wait for my husband and then dress them again? I don’t have the energy for that. Are you suggesting that I should go to his parents house for dinner without him and be subjected to my in-laws asking me where their son is and why he didn’t come? I’d rather just not go at all then:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/94 "2011-01-09T17:17:29Z")
> [@kapri](#): > > I’m late maybe half the time, and then only by a few minutes–less than say, 8, usually, and often only 3 or 4. By the standards of this thread, that hardly qualifies as late. But it seems as if the fix here is rather simple & obvious: slide everything forward by 5 minutes. For an analogy, consider a golfer whose putts consistently end up a foot right of the hole. One possible reaction would be “I guess I’m just the kind of golfer who misses to the right.” Another might be to try aiming a bit further left. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/95 "2011-01-09T17:18:37Z")
I’ve read the more right-brained you are, the less punctual you tend to be. Right-brained people are known for being creative, spontaneous, and a bit disorganized. So it might a biological thing. 🙂 I’m pretty right-brained, but I am a punctual person, especially when it comes to interviews, appointments, and meetings. I’m more likely to be a few minutes late when I’m meeting up with an individual or a small group of people for some informal thing. But even then, I try to get there right on time. Not out of respect for the others, but so that whatever thing we have planned will go smoothly. I think that’s really the thing that’s important to me. If I have to be on time for something that’s time-sensitive (such as a movie), I will show up five minutes early. If I’m supposed to be helping someone move out of their apartment or something, I won’t rush to be at the appointed time right on the dot. I’ll be there within fifteen minutes. Because fifteen minutes could be the difference between seeing a movie or not seeing it, but fifteen minutes isn’t going to kill someone needing their furniture moved. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/96 "2011-01-09T17:52:08Z")
I don’t want to hear any of this crap about other cultures’ perceptions of time. Look, if I’m in Latin America, I will adjust to the fact that no one will arrive somewhere until 2 hours after we agree to meet. But in Minnesota, you show up on time. I give you 2 maybe 3 chances to arrive on time and then I stop inviting you and you can be late all over the place, I won’t care. I don’t particularly care if you get easily distracted or hate being constrained by the clock or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![john\_b\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a9a28c/32.png) [@john\_b\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/john_b_2)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/97 "2011-01-09T18:17:17Z")
[quote=“lisalan, post:1, topic:566875”] I have always been a punctal person all of my life. I believe punctuality shows that you have mastered the skill of time management. I also believe that punctuality shows strength of character. It shows that you are dependable, care about other people’s feelings and respect their time. People who are late are deficient in the skill of time management. Lateness shows a weaknes of character. It shows that you are not dependable, are selfish and put your feelings above others and have no respect for other people’s time. Late people…I loathe you:D You are my crypotnite. I’ll try to prove you wrong, or to at least expand on the issue: I was as a teenager and young adult, through most of my twenties, habitually late, to the extent that it hurt my standing in work (otherwise excellent) due to my “reputation”. During those years I had other issues, such as heavy drinking, but I don’t think that was a major factor. I’m a night owl type, prefer late to early evening, come alive when the sun goes down. That’s one side of me that’s remained constant. However, over the past thirty years I’ve become almost compulsively punctual, nearly always get to places early, take the bus or train prior to the one that will get me where I’m going on time as insurance, just in case there’s a delay of some kind. Yet I’m the same person I was when I was latecomer. I was a responsible individual then and am still one now. My problem, in my “tardy” days wasn’t some moral flaw, inconsiderateness, apathy or even bad attitude. The issue was something deep inside me (I’m not going to give you my life story…) that I had to contend with. Call it passive aggression or low self-esteem. There were many causes, and I had to contend with those issues. As I look back on it, my habitual lateness was, reduced to its essentials, just that: a habit, a bad habit, very bad, and for many years it marked me, stigmatized me, and then I overcame it. I can’t speak for others but I have noticed character traits similar to mine in other “late people” I’ve known, and sometimes have tried to help them. It feels awful to be late. The habit is very hard to break, as it becomes embedded in one’s character (i.e. people expect you to be that way). It’s akin to an addiction, akin to smoking or using dope, and it’s a tough and painful one to break. I don’t think it’s a character flaw in the way you and others on this thread have described it. Nor does it suggest that a latecomer type is apathetic or indifferent to the feelings of others. They’re often keenly aware of their flaw, grapple with it, no matter what kind of “smiley face” they seem to put on it. Lateness is, for some people, a serious problem. On the one hand it speaks volumes about who they are as individuals, and yet it’s also a stand alone problem that can be, needs to be, addressed or a person’s life is going to be impaired, maybe even ruined by it. Late people have my sympathy. I know that they drive others crazy sometimes,–and they usually know it–and they often can’t help themselves change. They tend to feel, to indulge in psychobabble for a bit, unempowered, as if branded by some kind of “tardy DNA” that marks them, which of course isn’t true. They need help and understanding. Most of all, they need to help and understand themselves. Based on many of the responses I’ve read on this thread, they’re not going to get help from others. It’s an unattractive trait, and it needs to be addressed as such, like bad person hygeine. ---
**Author:** ![iamnotbatman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@iamnotbatman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamnotbatman)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/98 "2011-01-09T18:34:43Z")
I have to say, **john b.** , that your post is strangely self-contradictory. You start out saying “I’ll try to prove you wrong” but end up describing it as “passive aggression” and end with “it’s an unattractive trait, and it needs to be addressed as such, like bad person hygeine.” Sounds to me like you are pretty much agreeing with the OP (or at least close enough). You say “I don’t think it’s a character flaw”, and then go on to describe in some detail what couldn’t be described as anything other than a character flaw. ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/99 "2011-01-09T18:43:55Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I try to get there right on time. Not out of respect for the others, but so that whatever thing we have planned will go smoothly. Helping things go smoothly is pretty much the essence of respect here: “I respect my friends/family/coworkers enough to avoid doing things that force them to derange agreed-on plans.” ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2011, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875/100 "2011-01-09T18:45:55Z")
Originally posted by **john b.** > [@](#): > > It’s an unattractive trait, and it needs to be addressed as such, like bad person hygeine. Yes, it is an example of poor social skills. Or a disreguard for the normal expectations of society. Now that you mention it, I think a lot of the chronically late people I know have bad B.O. too. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-psychology-of-punctual-people-vs-late-people-according-to-lisalan/566875.md?page=6)