# The pun is mightier than the sword: share your best (or worst) puns **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [January 15, 2021, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pun-is-mightier-than-the-sword-share-your-best-or-worst-puns/930613 "2021-01-15T18:12:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pun-is-mightier-than-the-sword-share-your-best-or-worst-puns/930613/21 "2021-01-16T19:26:36Z")
While walking along a pier, I saw a man casting his line into the water. He got a bite, and hooked a 60-degree angle. He looked over his catch, cast again, and said, “I hope I reel in a 30-degree angle this time.” Confused, I asked, “Why?” “I’m fishing for complements!” ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pun-is-mightier-than-the-sword-share-your-best-or-worst-puns/930613/22 "2021-01-16T19:39:11Z")
When Dick Cavett was writing for the Tonight Show, he wrote a caption for a photo of Aristotle Onasis, who was shopping for a home in Los Angeles, being shown a house which used to belong to silent film star Buster Keaton: _Aristotle Contemplating the Home of Buster._ ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pun-is-mightier-than-the-sword-share-your-best-or-worst-puns/930613/23 "2021-01-16T20:13:42Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > While walking along a pier, I saw a man casting his line into the water. He got a bite, and hooked a 60-degree angle. He looked over his catch, cast again, and said, “I hope I reel in a 30-degree angle this time.” > > Confused, I asked, “Why?” > > “I’m fishing for complements!” He’d also have to reel in a 90 degree angle to make that joke right. ---
**Author:** ![Dinoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de0a6/32.png) [@Dinoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinoguy)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2021, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pun-is-mightier-than-the-sword-share-your-best-or-worst-puns/930613/24 "2021-01-17T01:59:59Z")
A brunette English teacher was trying to mentor a blonde student Teacher: “What’s a metaphor?” Student: “Silly, that’s where cows graze.” ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2021, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pun-is-mightier-than-the-sword-share-your-best-or-worst-puns/930613/25 "2021-01-17T12:48:35Z")
Q: What’s the difference between an angry chicken and a scheming lawyer? A: One clucks defiance. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2021, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pun-is-mightier-than-the-sword-share-your-best-or-worst-puns/930613/26 "2021-01-17T13:00:09Z")
I modified a pun I heard here (first?) at a grocery store, with as much success as one could expect from a pun. My brother and I were in a grocery store in Estes Park, CO, and there were a bunch of people that looked vaguely like roman soldiers from afar - the colors were various shades of yellow, beige, and brown. It was only if you looked closely that you saw that the attire was more medieval and so the obvious conclusion was that there was some sort of HIghland games or festival going on. My brother wondered why they looked like that, and I said “they’re pretending to be Roman Emperors to increase their romantic success, because everyone knows the hottest piper is a hobby Nero.” ---
**Author:** ![jaycat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat/32/3015_2.png) [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2021, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pun-is-mightier-than-the-sword-share-your-best-or-worst-puns/930613/27 "2021-01-17T13:23:35Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > Confucius say man who fart in church must sit in own pew. And… man who lose key to girlfriend’s apartment, get no new key. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2021, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pun-is-mightier-than-the-sword-share-your-best-or-worst-puns/930613/28 "2021-01-17T13:38:30Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > My brother wondered why they looked like that, and I said “they’re pretending to be Roman Emperors to increase their romantic success, because everyone knows the hottest piper is a hobby Nero.” Took me a second— had to say it out loud before it clicked, but nice payoff 😁 ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2021, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pun-is-mightier-than-the-sword-share-your-best-or-worst-puns/930613/29 "2021-01-17T15:35:42Z")
> [@jaycat](#): > > And… man who lose key to girlfriend’s apartment, get no new key. Man who finger woman during period get caught red-handed. [List of 100](http://www.trees-and-lambdas.info/matushansky/confucius.html) ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2021, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pun-is-mightier-than-the-sword-share-your-best-or-worst-puns/930613/30 "2021-01-18T04:24:49Z")
Seen in the men’s toilet, 1977: > Confucius say: Next man who writes “Confucius say” will be hearing from my lawyer. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2021, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pun-is-mightier-than-the-sword-share-your-best-or-worst-puns/930613/31 "2021-01-18T08:33:20Z")
I was hit by a Rythm Stick. (Looking back, I was probably asking for it). Anyway, luckily I had personal Ian Dury insurance. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pun-is-mightier-than-the-sword-share-your-best-or-worst-puns/930613.md?page=1)