# The Pwincess Pwecious Pwoves Infectious **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 11, 2004, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763 "2004-03-11T21:31:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/21 "2004-03-12T12:48:21Z")
I dunno. There’s something about hearing them talk about _The Gambler_ that I find strangely compelling. I think the only way to tolerate their grating and inane carry-on is to somehow try to steer their conversation into inappropriate areas. Enough cute things their kitties did - get 'em talking about Satanism, hotting up 1960s Ford motors, the Middle East, evil mind-control robots… er … wobots… It might just be enough to turn a bad situation around, seeing as actually having them _shut up_ seems off the cards. ---
**Author:** ![curly\_chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@curly\_chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curly_chick)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/22 "2004-03-12T12:51:26Z")
> [@rowrrbazzle](#): > > Wesistance is futiwe. > You wiww be assimiwated. You are Elmer Fudd and I claim the paper note to the value of five currency units of your choice. ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/23 "2004-03-12T14:02:12Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > It’s like working in a goddam helium factory with Betty Boop and Shirley Temple. OK, I’m going to have this mental image stuck in my bwain all day long. Someone pwease pass the mentaw fwoss! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/24 "2004-03-12T14:12:01Z")
> [@iampunha](#): > > You misspewwed steweo. And you awe fweakin’ hiwarwious! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/25 "2004-03-12T14:16:13Z")
Jesus. I just went to another thread and all the words with "L"s in them looked misspelled. I mean “misspewwed.” ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/26 "2004-03-12T15:31:45Z")
It’s been almost a day since she posted here. I think they got her, too. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/27 "2004-03-12T15:36:58Z")
Well, **slortar** , let’s hope that the only reason Eve hasn’t posted is that she went postal on those two and is now in jail … not to worry, though I’m sure there’s no jury in the world that would convict her! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/28 "2004-03-12T16:43:14Z")
One of us—one of us! Oopsy-boopsy—we accept you One of us—one of us! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/29 "2004-03-12T17:40:58Z")
Did you recently watch The Dreamers? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/30 "2004-03-12T17:57:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Well, slortar, let’s hope that the only reason Eve hasn’t posted is that she went postal on those two and is now in jail … not to worry, though I’m sure there’s no jury in the world that would convict her! CRAZED EDITOR SHOOTS UP MANHATTAN WORKPLACE SHOUTS “SAY HEWWO TO MY WITTLE FWEND” AS SHE MACHINE GUNS CO-WORKERS Suspect in custody; described as “crazed but stylish” Police spokesman states: “It’s usually the quiet ones. But there’s always the exceptions.” Online friends concur: “Yes, we all saw it coming.” ---
**Author:** ![wireless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f14d63/32.png) [@wireless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wireless)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/31 "2004-03-12T19:04:18Z")
Just gotta say that “Wesistance is futiwe./You wiww be assimiwated.” had me laughing out loud. But THIS- > [@Little Nemo](#): > > “SAY HEWWO TO MY WITTLE FWEND” has the neighbors wondering what the hell is going on over here. “Thanks. I needed that!” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/32 "2004-03-12T22:56:54Z")
- I’m widin’ in your caw, you tuwn on the wadio You’we puwwin’ me close, I just say no I say I don’t wike it, but you know I’m a wiar 'Cause when we kiss, ooh, fiwe \* ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2004, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/33 "2004-03-13T00:35:49Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Did you recently watch The Dreamers? Safe bet that **Eve** had _Fweaks_ in mind with that one. ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2004, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/34 "2004-03-13T07:27:47Z")
Yeah that Todd Bwowning was waewwy pwetty wevowutionawy as a fiwm makew, wasn’t he? [sub]Ow, maybe she was wecentwy wistening to The Wamones.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/35 "2004-03-13T19:50:56Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > CRAZED EDITOR SHOOTS UP MANHATTAN WORKPLACE > SHOUTS “SAY HEWWO TO MY WITTLE FWEND” AS SHE MACHINE GUNS CO-WORKERS > Suspect in custody; described as “crazed but stylish” > Police spokesman states: “It’s usually the quiet ones. But there’s always the exceptions.” > Online friends concur: “Yes, we all saw it coming.” Good Golly, that had me laughing so hard my stomach hurts. Ouch! Ouch! And … hey, we still haven’t heard from Eve have we? [Arte Johnson]Hmmm … Very Interestink[/Arte Johnson] 😉 ---
**Author:** ![htns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@htns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/htns)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/36 "2004-03-13T20:16:08Z")
Jeebus H Christ in a dead DeLorean, that damn baby talk. It’s cute when used sparingly, but all the damn time…shit. I suggest that the OP treat the Princess Precious types like babies. For example, when one of them asks what time it is, look at your watch and say “the little hand is on the two and the big hand is on the five” or something similar. If they complain, tell them you’ll stop treating them like babies when they finally stop the damn baby talk. Just one person’s thoughts on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kitarak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kitarak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitarak)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2004, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/37 "2004-03-13T21:51:55Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > CRAZED EDITOR SHOOTS UP MANHATTAN WORKPLACE > SHOUTS “SAY HEWWO TO MY WITTLE FWEND” AS SHE MACHINE GUNS CO-WORKERS Ouch. I must learn not to eat dinner and browse the SDMB at the same time. This had me laughing so hard I nearly choked to death on my food. Just so you know, if I’d died I would have held you personally wespon… err. responsible. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/38 "2004-03-13T23:52:06Z")
Violence Is Not The Answer The threat of violence is. You’ll need the bulb from one of the many scents on chestnut vanity, corn syrup and red food coloring. Talk to your coworkers politely. Stare directly into their eyes while doing so. Speaked in clipped phrases(somewhat in the style of Jack Pallance.). “I have a, slight, problem. The two of you, have this, habit, of speaking like the, illegitimate daughter of, Elmer Fudd. To be, frank, I, don’t, like, it. You, _will_, stop. Or, there will be, consequences.” At this point bare a wrist. Make a fist with the other hand, with the thumb straight rather than curled. Press the thumbnail deeply into the bared wrist. Then, slowly draw it across the wrist while squeezing the bulb. You may want to practice this at home, so as best deceive viewers. You’ve only squirted some red syrup(BTW- U Bet now makes vanilla, raspberry and black cherry syrups. I love the vanilla. The cherry tastes like a punch mom used to make with ginger ale and orange sherbert. I haven’t tried the raspberry yet.) on your wrist. But to viewers, you’ve unflinchingly mutilated yourself. “If I’m willing to do that to myself, imagine what I do to people who don’t listen to me.” Then walk off, clean the syrup off your wrist. Put on a band aid to maintain the illusion. Return to work as though nothing had happened. Act innocent when the pweshuss ones ask you about it. **Zebra** Nitpick- You mispelled shower. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/39 "2004-03-14T00:05:50Z")
Is the “Pwincess” still picking up dialects and phrases by osmosis? If so, I have the perfect solution: 1. Hire an someone with strong pro-Ulster sensibilities, preferably of a paramilitary nature. 2. Have this person regularaly interact with the Pwincess, until she picks up his thoughts. 3. Fire this person, hire an IRA sympathizer. 4. Have this person interact with the by-now throughly pro-Ulster Pwincess. 5. Make sure you are out of the building when the inevitable comes. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2004, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763/40 "2004-03-14T00:10:04Z")
Oh my gwarsh, I just now noticed [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=244649). She really _did_ do in PP!!! And now she’s on the lam from the law!!! :eek: :eek: I bet she’s headed for Timbuktu and the two weeks she mentions she’s going to be incommunicado is the time it takes to get an Internet connection there … 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-pwincess-pwecious-pwoves-infectious/233763.md?page=3)