# The Quickest Way To A Man's Heart Is Through A Gaping Hole In His Sternum. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 15, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355 "2004-03-15T03:04:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Shmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@Shmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmoo)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/141 "2004-03-26T23:55:43Z")
A closed mouth gathers no feet. some peoples children… It’s all fun & games 'til someone loses an eye…& then it’s a treasure hunt! Inside me, there’s a thin woman crying to get out… But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies. ---
**Author:** ![Kaboodle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kaboodle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaboodle)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2004, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/142 "2004-03-27T07:04:47Z")
From Mad magazine many moons ago: The meek shall inherit the dearth. From HBO’s Tales from the Crypt: Women, can’t live with them, can’t fit more than one in a trunk with a spare tire. ---
**Author:** ![FreeRange\_Maniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/97f17d/32.png) [@FreeRange\_Maniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreeRange_Maniac)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2004, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/143 "2004-03-27T08:16:45Z")
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to swim on his back, you’ve got something ---
**Author:** ![Feit\_C\_Taj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@Feit\_C\_Taj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feit_C_Taj)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/144 "2004-03-28T00:24:12Z")
Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Play a man a Phish CD, and he’ll toke up and get the munchies for the rest of his life. ---
**Author:** ![ebok47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@ebok47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebok47)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/145 "2004-03-28T05:12:53Z")
“I’ve got things to see and people to do…” ---
**Author:** ![Winterwren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Winterwren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winterwren)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/146 "2004-03-28T14:10:32Z")
Men – you can’t live with them; you can’t sell them for the parts. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/147 "2004-06-10T06:52:33Z")
different version: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. . . and up under his rib cage.” ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/148 "2004-06-10T06:57:26Z")
“That’s water over the dam.” ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/149 "2004-06-10T07:00:54Z")
Is that you, George Romero? Boy, we better keep a close watch on Reagan. [sub]If I wanted to hear an asshole, I’d fart.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/150 "2004-06-10T07:36:35Z")
People who live in glass houses, shouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/151 "2004-06-10T09:43:08Z")
> [@Mr. Moto](#): > > From the movie “The Great White Hype”. > > “My father always used to say, ‘Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and I’ll give you something to cry about, you little bastard.’” Some years ago I came up with “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs at you.” ---
**Author:** ![Aladora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Aladora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aladora)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/152 "2004-06-10T18:13:04Z")
If at first you don’t succeed…try reading the instructions. It’s all fun and games until someone looses and eye…then it’s a sport! ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2004, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/153 "2004-06-13T04:24:42Z")
I’ll say this until it sticks. The engineer sees that the glass was designed with a 100% safety factor. (Major rule of engineering: estimate the forces, calculate the design needed to match them, then ADD A SAFETY FACTOR!) ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2004, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/154 "2004-06-13T06:57:31Z")
It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye… then it’s ping-pong! People that live in glass houses should get dressed in the basement. God loves you… everyone else thinks you’re an a\*\*hole! ---
**Author:** ![Esky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f04885/32.png) [@Esky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esky)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2004, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/155 "2004-06-13T14:23:19Z")
> [@dwalin](#): > > (Heard this on the bus this morning) > Violence is not the answer. Violence is the question. Yes is the answer. I always thought it was: Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer. Ah well to each their own. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2004, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/156 "2004-06-13T15:35:28Z")
This is actually a great game to play with young school-age children (like ages 5-8): Give them a list of cliches with the key words blanked out and tell them to fill in the blanks. You get some pretty great stuff, like this gem from my first born when she was 7 1/2: Out of sight you are blind ---
**Author:** ![Hyxel\_Pixel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/9d8465/32.png) [@Hyxel\_Pixel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyxel_Pixel)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/157 "2012-07-28T14:08:39Z")
Frank Muir or Dennis Norden said If at first you don’t suck seed, try drier grain. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-quickest-way-to-a-mans-heart-is-through-a-gaping-hole-in-his-sternum/234355/158 "2012-07-28T16:48:43Z")
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