# The Rants Came Marching One By One (March minirants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2014, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588 "2014-03-01T13:23:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/381 "2014-03-24T14:07:53Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > Who does this sort of thing??? Spam I just received: > > -=-=- > Dear [email address removed] > We have been sent a sample of your blood analysis for further research. > During the complete blood count (CBC) we have revealed that white blood cells is very low, and unfortunately we have a suspicion of a cancer. > Wite Blood cells 1200 Low > Hemoglobin 12 Normal > Platelets 19000 Low > > We suggest you to print out your CBC test results and interpretations in attachment below and visit your family doctor as soon as possible > Sincerely, > Dr. Avery Ernie > National Institute for Health and Care Excellence > > -=-=-= > > And, of course, the “To” line shows a whole string of names at the same ISP. > > Obviously it’s spam (if nothing else, I haven’t had any blood drawn for many months) but what in the world does whoever does this sort of thing get out of it? Instills some amount of fear in a unknown subset of unknown to him/her people? I see no one who can profit from it except possibly some underemployed primary care doctors. 😕 It’s already hit Snopes: > **[Cancer Warning from NICE](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/cancer-warning-from-nice/)** > > E-mail phishing scam poses as notifications from NICE about blood test results. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/382 "2014-03-24T16:40:49Z")
> [@saje](#): > > It’s already hit Snopes: > > [Cancer Warning from NICE | Snopes.com](http://www.snopes.com/fraud/phishing/nice.asp) My 72 year old mom is pretty good about contacting me to check before she responds to things, but I might pre-emptively send her a head’s-up on this one. That is truly one of the shittiest scams I’ve seen in a long time, since it’s obviously aimed (even more than usual) at the old and the infirm. Scammers and spammers make me really want to believe in karma - these people have many turns through the wheel as the bacteria that live in your shit coming to them. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/383 "2014-03-24T16:49:18Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > Dear [email address removed] > We have been sent a sample of your blood analysis for further research. > During the complete blood count (CBC) we have revealed that white blood cells is very low, and unfortunately **we have a suspicion of a cancer.** That’s some mighty fine Engrish right there. ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/384 "2014-03-24T16:49:23Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > I’m really sorry about your kidney problems, MissTake. I hope you find a donor soon. A friend of mine had a kidney transplant a decade ago. She’s still doing fine. This sounds horribly whiny after that but this is the pit and I have a miserably itchy infection in a very tender female place. I am hoping the meds will work soon. I also suspect I have some sort of serious anxiety disorder. My bp is too high and it may be from that. At least that’s what my doctor is suggesting. I do feel very anxious a lot. My mom was the most anxious person I have ever met so it’s probably inherited. Are you me? I have nearly the same rant, except mine is my 4th UTI in 8 months. :smack: Blech. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/385 "2014-03-24T18:56:03Z")
Dear webcomic/blog authors: if your RSS feed consists of _one_ entry, it is about as useful in figuring out how many new entries I’ve missed as a bookmark to your index page. Which is about as useful as a sea pig is to a jewish chef. Cut that shit out. Give us at least 2, preferably closer to 10 if you update multiple times a week. ---
**Author:** ![Dunkelheit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dunkelheit/32/248_2.png) [@Dunkelheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunkelheit)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/386 "2014-03-24T21:38:31Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > In our quest to get healthy, we got rid of white bread, replaced it with yummy nutty, chewy whole grain bread. Bad move. Breakfast of yogurt and granola? Bad move. Nosh on almonds and a cheese stick? Bad move. Essentially, everything I did was wrong. I had remembered to watch the potassium, forgot about the phosphorus. > > I have a new med that blocks phosphorus, kind of like those fat blocker diet meds. I’ll take one with every meal. Whee. On the plus side, bagels and cream cheese are back on the menu! Funny how getting healthy can be so counterintuitive. To treat my IBS, I was told to avoid fiber and switch to white bread, which is totally the opposite of what I would have expected. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/387 "2014-03-24T21:45:11Z")
Did it help? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/388 "2014-03-24T22:24:32Z")
He doesn’t know. He hasn’t crapped since he switched. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/389 "2014-03-24T23:26:32Z")
When you have to perform a vaginal ultrasound, _please_ do not sound dismayed and annoyed when your patient repeatedly gasps and cries out in pain. She makes those noises because you’re hurting her. (I dunno, maybe I frightened her.) _Please_ do not say things like, “Well, I’m nowhere near where I need to be.” I’m not trying to be difficult. You’re hurting me. I remember thinking, she’s this tiny, pretty little thing – _she_ won’t hurt me like the icy blonde I had last time. The icy blonde was patient and kind compared to this one. (Maybe I frightened her.) She suggested we reschedule and they’d do an exterior ultrasound where I drink 40 oz. of water beforehand. Why… why on earth didn’t we just do that, then? I’ve been dreading this day for a month, you HURT ME and then tell me we have an alternative?? 😕☹ Excuse me while I go consume some chocolate. At least this day is over. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/390 "2014-03-24T23:43:26Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > She suggested we reschedule and they’d do an exterior ultrasound where I drink 40 oz. of water beforehand. Why… why on earth didn’t we just do that, then? I’ve been dreading this day for a month, you HURT ME and then tell me we have an alternative?? > > 😕☹ > > Excuse me while I go consume some chocolate. At least this day is over. ☹ Complain complain complain! This is unacceptable behavior. She needs to be reported to anyone and everyone you can think of. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/391 "2014-03-24T23:58:33Z")
Reminds me of when the urologist asked me if it hurt when his handy-dandy device that was up my rectum inserted needles into my prostate. And how my PCP was surprised that he did the biopsy without a general anesthetic of some kind. Which proves to me that this urologist has no familiarity with his own rectum, because anyone who does would know that THE PROSTATE IS SENSITIVE! IT HAS NERVE ENDINGS! Seriously, this was over a year ago and remembering it still makes me shudder and cringe. Unfortunately, there was no one to report him to because he was the office, and apparently biopsies without general anesthetic are not malpractice. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/392 "2014-03-25T01:38:03Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Reminds me of when the urologist asked me if it hurt when his handy-dandy device that was up my rectum inserted needles into my prostate. And how my PCP was surprised that he did the biopsy without a general anesthetic of some kind. > > Which proves to me that this urologist has no familiarity with his own rectum, because anyone who does would know that > > THE PROSTATE IS SENSITIVE! IT HAS NERVE ENDINGS! > > Seriously, this was over a year ago and remembering it still makes me shudder and cringe. Unfortunately, there was no one to report him to because he was the office, and apparently biopsies without general anesthetic are not malpractice. I would be doing biopsies of his eyeballs. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/393 "2014-03-25T02:51:05Z")
> [@Dunkelheit](#): > > Funny how getting healthy can be so counterintuitive. To treat my IBS, I was told to avoid fiber and switch to white bread, which is totally the opposite of what I would have expected. Hmm, I should try that. It sounds counter-intuitive, but if your bowels are getting all roughed up by all that roughage, I think it would cause pain and problems. > [@Chimera](#): > > He doesn’t know. He hasn’t crapped since he switched. That’s not funny! (I don’t know why I snorted out loud. 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/394 "2014-03-25T02:57:32Z")
Oh yeah, I actually came here for an anti-rant - I just finished our income taxes today! Woo to the Hoooooo! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/395 "2014-03-25T03:28:02Z")
And my mini-rant that I keep forgetting too (you ever wonder how my post count got that high? :p). I dreamed last night that I watched someone get run over by a truck and had their left arm half smeared off. What the hell, brain? Where did that come from, and why did you think I needed _that_ image in my head? ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/396 "2014-03-25T03:57:07Z")
> [@saje](#): > > It’s already hit Snopes: > > [Cancer Warning from NICE | Snopes.com](http://www.snopes.com/fraud/phishing/nice.asp) I hadn’t even noticed here _was_ an attachment. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/397 "2014-03-25T03:58:33Z")
A while back, I heard about an accident where the driver had his arm hanging out the window and hit something which sheared his arm right off. He was probably texting, I don’t know. But anyhow, someone ran up and grabbed his arm and ran away with it. The miscreant was caught, the arm was returned to its rightful owner and the thief was charged with arm robbery. When I’m having anxiety dreams, its always about losing things and then getting lost while looking for whatever was lost. I haven’t had any of those dreams for a long time. Excuse me while I log off and then go kiss my husband and tell him that I love him. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/398 "2014-03-25T10:20:17Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > A while back, I heard about an accident where the driver had his arm hanging out the window and hit something which sheared his arm right off. He was probably texting, I don’t know. That sounds like Herman from The Simpsons. “When your teacher tells you to keep your arm inside the bus windows, by God you do it!” ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/399 "2014-03-25T12:14:52Z")
Ok, jackass customer: Despite what you say, 4_8 doesn’t equal 48 and 4_28 doesn’t equal 128. _That’s_ why you don’t have 160G of ram in your server. The computer you used to re-open this ticket in order to re-iterate this insane and easily disprovable claim is more than capable of handling this trivial calculation, even if your split pea brain can’t handle basic arithmetic. Please stop coming up with strange fantasies about why your server doesn’t have 160G of ram. We have completely removed all other possibilites. I’ve opened up the server and checked. It has 144G of ram. Magic math is not going to fool me. I swear, I will lose control of my faculties and your motherboard will be a path to ground for a 120V ac circuit if you don’t stop. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/400 "2014-03-25T15:24:58Z")
> [@Avarie537](#): > > Complain complain complain! This is unacceptable behavior. She needs to be reported to anyone and everyone you can think of. Concur. Highly, highly concur. If she’s doing that to you, she’s doing that to other patients as well. We don’t have THAT bad of a dr. shortage that we need crap like this in the system. Here: \*\* \*chocolate \*\*\* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588.md?page=21)