# The Rants Came Marching One By One (March minirants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2014, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588 "2014-03-01T13:23:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/61 "2014-03-04T16:09:31Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > For those of you wanting cheap entertainment, go to your local public launch ramp with a cooler and a lawn chair on Memorial Day weekend. Seriously. This is some of the best free comedy available. 😉 I will second this! Also the [beach park](http://www.ct.gov/deep/cwp/view.asp?a=2716&q=325210) on Memorial Day - it is on Long Island Sound and as such does not get that nice toasty warm Gulf Stream [you have to get out of the sound like on the ocean side of Long Island, or maybe Rhode Island.] Such complaints about the freezing water \ ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/62 "2014-03-04T16:33:53Z")
> [@Kelevra](#): > > One of my coworkers brought in donuts for his birthday. It’s how we do things here. I get a donut and chomp happily away. I walk to his office to wish him a Happy Birthday. What do I see? > > He has pink-eye. Or he was high as a kite in celebration. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/63 "2014-03-04T16:35:37Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > You do not “buy” a boat. No one does. You merely pay for the privilege of entering a long-term, unending battle with Entropy. I heard it was; The two happiest days of your life are the day you buy your boat, and the day you sell it. ---
**Author:** ![Silophant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Silophant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silophant)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/64 "2014-03-04T16:43:26Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > I pulled out the sunrise/sunset time comparisons for Chicago whenever the hell it was we did Pit bitch-a-thon last, and was convinced enough by the ugly, insane timing of the sunrise without the effect of DST that I’m convinced. Especially since we are, indeed, “stuck” with the system so that there’s no need for me to convince anyone. 😉 > > But hey, personally, I would rather not spend the majority of June with the sun rising at (plus or minus a few minutes as the month progresses) **four-fucking-fifteen** in the morning, and it sounds like most reasonable people agree, thus the system. 😛 That would suck, which is why we should stay on Summer time year-round. We’ve got clocks these days, there’s no reason we need solar noon to match local noon. Yes, I do realize that (in Minneapolis) that means that the sun sets at 3:30pm in December, but the sun setting before you get home is depressing no matter what, so who the hell cares if it’s 3:30 or 4:30? ---
**Author:** ![Kelevra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/97f17d/32.png) [@Kelevra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelevra)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/65 "2014-03-04T17:07:08Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > For those of you wanting cheap entertainment, go to your local public launch ramp with a cooler and a lawn chair on Memorial Day weekend. Seriously. This is some of the best free comedy available. 😉 I drive a boat for work. Trailer it all over the Ohio River basin. The number of people that sit at ramps and watch me put a boat in the water is amazing. When I get a new employee I like to take them to Greenville ramp just downstream of Louisville. Three lanes, sharp corners and always busy. I make them back the trailer in with 30 retirees commenting on their every mistake. Grows character!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/66 "2014-03-04T18:20:29Z")
> [@Silophant](#): > > That would suck, which is why we should stay on Summer time year-round. We’ve got clocks these days, there’s no reason we need solar noon to match local noon. Yes, I do realize that (in Minneapolis) that means that the sun sets at 3:30pm in December, but the sun setting before you get home is depressing no matter what, so who the hell cares if it’s 3:30 or 4:30? This is backwards. If Minnesota were on DST during the winter, sun would set at 5:30 (assuming as you do that it now sets at 4:30). But the sun would not rise until 8:00 am or later, which some people don’t like. Some people don’t like sending their children off to school in the dark, for example. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Silophant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Silophant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silophant)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/67 "2014-03-04T19:40:09Z")
Oops. Thanks for the correction. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/68 "2014-03-04T21:46:42Z")
My husband got a new job, which is fantastic, as it brings with it at 33% raise. The minirant is that COBRA coverage for the five of us is going to cost $2100 for SIX WEEKS. I’m in intensive outpatient therapy right now, so I have to decide really freaking fast if we want to fork over the cash to keep me going in the interim or if I have made enough progress to stay sane for that long. Not to mention the three boisterous boys who could injure themselves / fall ill at any given moment. GRR. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/69 "2014-03-05T00:29:31Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Here is a car rant. When there is a long line of cars waiting to get on the entrance ramp, you being too stupid to think that the cars are all lined up to get on the freeway does not give you the right to cut in. And for another moron, don’t let anyone in. They can drive down the road, make a U-turn, and get on just as well. > Same goes for those who ride the exit only lane until the last minute and then cut into the regular lane because some moron let them. Let them sit there until they give up and are forced to exit, or until someone (in a big truck, I hope) hits them. Let them kiss airbag. Amen and hallelujah! They always do that, because some “do-gooder” always lets them in. Stop letting them in! Let them sit there and think about the evil that they do! > [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > \ > But hey, personally, I would rather not spend the majority of June with the sun rising at (plus or minus a few minutes as the month progresses) **four-fucking-fifteen** in the morning, and it sounds like most reasonable people agree, thus the system. 😛 3:30, 4:30, 5:30, it doesn’t matter. It’s all before I ever get up if my life is working the way it should be. 🙂 > [@Silophant](#): > > That would suck, which is why we should stay on Summer time year-round. We’ve got clocks these days, there’s no reason we need solar noon to match local noon. Yes, I do realize that (in Minneapolis) that means that the sun sets at 3:30pm in December, but the sun setting before you get home is depressing no matter what, so who the hell cares if it’s 3:30 or 4:30? Not me. If we can figure out a way to get the most daylight during waking hours in winter when we need it, summer doesn’t matter. Pick whatever time system that is and stick with it. I’ll add my annual anecdote as well - I grew up in Saskatchewan, a province that doesn’t switch the clocks at all, and I never felt a lack living there. When I moved out of the province I had to start switching, and I have yet to feel like switching the clocks twice a year has made any improvement in my life. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/70 "2014-03-05T00:53:30Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Once again, I need to do my annual ranting against Toyota for making it impossible for me to lock my car while it’s running. You know, Toyota, sometimes when you live in Western Canada, the temperature is -26ÂșC (-15ÂșF), and you’d like to start your car up and let it run for a few minutes before you get in so the -26Âș seats don’t leach all the heat out of your body. When you want to do that, it would be nice to be able to lock the doors so some fool can’t come along and just drive away with your vehicle. > > I understand that they intend this to be a safety device, so you can’t lock yourself out while your car is running, but how about making it possible to lock it with your fob, which is obviously in your hand if you’re using it to lock the doors? Non-cold-weather-understanding jerks. :mad: Um, my car has heated seats. Nice and toasty in about 20 seconds. Mmmm. Warm buns. (Ducks and runs) ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/71 "2014-03-05T03:17:24Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Just an FYI I discovered while waiting for the train. When wearing a very long winter coat, closed up all the way, farts rise. And linger. And run around with you. :eek: Sorry, but I probably laughed much harder than I should have at that. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Amen and hallelujah! They always do that, because some “do-gooder” always lets them in. Stop letting them in! Let them sit there and think about the evil that they do! > > \ > > I’ll add my annual anecdote as well - I grew up in Saskatchewan, a province that doesn’t switch the clocks at all, and I never felt a lack living there. When I moved out of the province I had to start switching, and I have yet to feel like switching the clocks twice a year has made any improvement in my life. I used to drive a highway that had what I called “blow by” lanes. They were supposed to be used to exit the highway for businesses, or to turn right to another highway and then the lane would end. At first, I would be nice and let them in
thinking that they had not understood the signs. After a while, I started noticing that the same cars would make the same “mistake” all the time, just so they could get a few cars ahead. I also noticed that after they had forced their way in, that they would force their way all the way left for another lane curve. So, being the bitch I am, I started to drive in the left lane, just at the right place to keep the idiot blocked in. I noticed that they never seemed to learn, so I stopped doing that. I’m totally on board with the “Just figure out one time and stick to it” team. Back when I lived in the land of “We don’t need no more stinking sunlight”, time changes were a bother because I had to remember what time it was before I tried to call anyone. Now that I’ve gone through a couple, they just suck. While cats like getting fed early, they really don’t like getting fed late. > [@kayT](#): > > Um, my car has heated seats. Nice and toasty in about 20 seconds. Mmmm. Warm buns. > (Ducks and runs) My car not only has heated seats
it has AC’d ones. I use that option more often because its so warm where I live. (Hides under a table while people throw things at **kayT** ) ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/72 "2014-03-05T03:25:23Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > \ > > I’m totally on board with the “Just figure out one time and stick to it” team. Back when I lived in the land of “We don’t need no more stinking sunlight”, time changes were a bother because I had to remember what time it was before I tried to call anyone. Relevant [XKCD](http://xkcd.com/1335/). Although it doesn’t cover cat stomach timers. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/73 "2014-03-05T03:42:46Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > Um, my car has heated seats. Nice and toasty in about 20 seconds. Mmmm. Warm buns. > (Ducks and runs) My next car will probably have those, too - I ain’t getting any younger. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/74 "2014-03-05T03:43:11Z")
People will forgive you if you forget what time it is in their part of the world. Cats will puke in your shoes. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/75 "2014-03-05T04:01:36Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > :eek: Sorry, but I probably laughed much harder than I should have at that. Oh, don’t worry. I wrote it while on the train, just after it happened. I started with a grin, then a silent giggle, then couldn’t hold it in and just started laughing like a loony while sitting in the middle of the train car with a dozen people. Then _that_ made me laugh and I had tears streaming down my face and I almost missed my stop. I’m that crazy lady. And it’s still funny. ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/76 "2014-03-05T05:32:09Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > People will forgive you if you forget what time it is in their part of the world. Cats will puke in your shoes. This really needs someone to adopt it as a sig line. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/77 "2014-03-05T16:25:15Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > has heated seats
it has AC’d ones. Speaking of which, I wonder why they took the ‘crotch cooler’ out of cars. That was a nice feature. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/78 "2014-03-05T18:00:32Z")
Mice have been coming into our basement in greater than usual numbers, probably due to the cold winter. Last December I trapped and killed several. Just recently there’s been a revival of the mouse plague, and the little bastids have decided to invade the fluorescent light growing area, clambering up into my triple-decker plant stands to eat newly planted seeds, dig around in pots etc. This meant war - the setting of eight different traps around the area, which has resulted in a new and even more impressive mouse harvest, including one that made it to the top shelf of a plant stand, nearly six feet off the ground. [Groucho]How it got up there I’ll never know[/Groucho]. Goddammit, these vermin are bad enough on the ground, I hate it when they get up to face level. The last time this happened was in the living room awhile back when I was getting a book off the bookshelf and found myself staring into the snout of a mouse. It fled behind a heavy volume, a seriously bad tactical move (crunch). Now I need to go check the coldframe to see what my traps out there have caught. Can you compost mice? ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/79 "2014-03-05T18:48:05Z")
Last week I was driving through an alley, and swerved to miss a big pothole. In the process, I ran over a piece of debris, and got a flat tire THAT way. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/80 "2014-03-05T19:36:22Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Goddammit, these vermin are bad enough on the ground, I hate it when they get up to face level. My brother-in-law was remodeling his garage, and has some walls open. He saw what looked like mouse shit on one of the walls, and thought, “How did a mouse crap way up there?” as he reached inside the wall. He got bit by a bat. He had to get the whole series of rabies shots. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588.md?page=5)