# The Rants Came Marching One By One (March minirants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2014, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588 "2014-03-01T13:23:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/121 "2014-03-07T00:26:03Z")
Today’s my birthday. I got a card from my parents, with a check in it 🆒 and a note: “Hope we can get together soon.” My brother lives 50 miles away, our parents 100 miles beyond that, and we always meet up at his place. The last 3 times they’ve come - Thanksgiving, Christmas, and our birthdays (there are 3 family birthdays within a week), I haven’t made it because I genuinely wasn’t feeling well. ☹ And I genuinely do not want to spend time with my parents; my mother is the Queen of Revisionist History and my father has a one-track mind and has for some time; his one track right now is “I read somewhere that vaccines cause autism.” :smack: I suspect that my brother isn’t any more excited about hosting them than I am about going there. It’s not like I’d see his kids anyway, because they’re 13 and 14 and don’t really want to hang out with Teh Grownupz. On top of it, I had to go to the doctor today because I have a bladder infection, and I’m at the age where they recommend a screening colonoscopy. Fun fun fun. No, I didn’t make an appointment, but they did hand me several brochures about it, which I put into my recycling bin. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Nightsong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nightsong/32/3083_2.png) [@Nightsong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightsong)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/122 "2014-03-07T00:33:53Z")
Ugg. I get over a cold, just in time for cedar pollen production to ramp up. ☹ And tonight, for some reason almost every time I blow my nose I somehow manage to miss the tissue and get snot just about everywhere else instead. The only times I haven’t, have been when the tissue was smashed up against my nostrils to the point it was hard to blow my nose. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/123 "2014-03-07T00:46:44Z")
Fourteen more days! ☹ My birthday is Saturday. I am turning 49. I am not sure how I feel about this. ☹ I know, consider the alternative. :eek: ☹ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/124 "2014-03-07T02:00:51Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > More meta-rant than mini-, but I’m getting really tired of people who take the Christ out of Christianity, and the Good News out of the gospels. I don’t profess to be Christian, but there was a time when I considered myself one, and I read all the literature. And even though I don’t consider Christianity the final word on morals and ethics, that Jesus dude had some awfully good ideas: being kind, not judging others, helping the needy, having wine and bread for breakfast. Seems like he was a nice guy. > > So how has that wisdom been so perverted in the past couple of millennia, that folks seem to sincerely believe that their religion justifies hate and misogyny and miserly denial of basic human needs? When did Jesus become a weapon to be used against science and education? Makes me all sad and angry and frustrated, and I’m not sure I have the energy to keep up the argument against the assholes… Waitaminute, you no longer consider yourself a Christian, but you still think of Jesus as a fine moral teacher for yourself? _(re-reads part about bread and wine for breakfast)_ And nutritionist? Maybe YOU’RE the one who took Christ out of Christianity! Maybe the Christians might like to have him back, didja ever think about THAT? 😃 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/125 "2014-03-07T02:10:22Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > \… > On top of it, I had to go to the doctor today because I have a bladder infection, and I’m at the age where they recommend a screening colonoscopy. Fun fun fun. No, I didn’t make an appointment, but they did hand me several brochures about it, which I put into my recycling bin. 😛 As annoying as colonoscopy preps are (the procedure itself is done under sedation and is no big deal) advanced colon cancer is worse. Do get the screening. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/126 "2014-03-07T02:15:36Z")
I was gonna say, the universe comes looking for you if you’re unprepared. Go get that screening and show the Fates who’s in charge! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/127 "2014-03-07T03:04:11Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Okay, Facebook friends, I don’t need to see all your fancy March Break pictures. I don’t even get a March Break. I know you are not trying to annoy me at all, but you’re succeeding. > > Also, I pit myself for having burned my mouth on pizza.:smack: Not the first time it’s happened. Maybe someday I’ll learn… I’m usually pretty good about not doing it, actually, but this time… oh boy. It’s peeling. ☹ I’m 56 and I still burn my mouth on pizza. Pisses me off every time! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/128 "2014-03-07T03:39:49Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Hie both of you to a counselor or doctor and find out if you’re ADD/ADHD (which can apparently be misdiagnosed as depression, mostly in people who are unhappy with the issues caused by ADD/ADHD). The difficulties with organizing, keeping track of things, and focus are classic symptoms. Even if you’re not diagnosed, you can probably learn coping mechanisms. Sound advice, **Morgyn** , thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/129 "2014-03-07T04:52:24Z")
Thanks, you fucking asshole, for clipping my driver’s mirror while I was in having lunch. Couldn’t leave a fucking note, could you, ya prick? I can’t use my insurance to get this repaired because my rates will go up for filing a minor claim. So I’ll be out several hundred dollars, I’m sure, as it’s a foreign-made car and parts prices make you their bitch. Cocksucker. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/130 "2014-03-07T05:30:04Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > More meta-rant than mini-, but I’m getting really tired of people who take the Christ out of Christianity, and the Good News out of the gospels. I don’t profess to be Christian, but there was a time when I considered myself one, and I read all the literature. And even though I don’t consider Christianity the final word on morals and ethics, that Jesus dude had some awfully good ideas: being kind, not judging others, helping the needy, having wine and bread for breakfast. Seems like he was a nice guy. > > So how has that wisdom been so perverted in the past couple of millennia, that folks seem to sincerely believe that their religion justifies hate and misogyny and miserly denial of basic human needs? When did Jesus become a weapon to be used against science and education? Makes me all sad and angry and frustrated, and I’m not sure I have the energy to keep up the argument against the assholes… I read something today in Jack Vance’s “Tschai” novels that seems to apply. [QUOTE=Reith] It occurs to me that the man and his religion are one and the same thing. The unknown exists. Each man projects on the blankness the shape of his own particular world-view. He endows his creation with his personal volitions and attitudes. The religious man stating his case is in essence explaining himself. [/QUOTE] So people who twist their religion to espouse hatred and greed (or adopt one that already does so) are simply telling us who they are in their deepest hearts. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/131 "2014-03-07T06:53:20Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > I have had it up to herewith low-flow toilets!!! > > These are fucking awful. You have to flush 2 or 3 times to get down an average crap. Then the clog more often. (at least mine do) Tell me about it! Ugghhh. I had to go to work on mine with a plunger tonight. And there wasn’t even any paper in the clog. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/132 "2014-03-07T06:55:05Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Okay, Facebook friends, I don’t need to see all your fancy March Break pictures. I don’t even get a March Break. I know you are not trying to annoy me at all, but you’re succeeding. > > Also, I pit myself for having burned my mouth on pizza.:smack: Not the first time it’s happened. Maybe someday I’ll learn… I’m usually pretty good about not doing it, actually, but this time… oh boy. It’s peeling. ☹ > [@Cheez\_Whia](#): > > I’m 56 and I still burn my mouth on pizza. Pisses me off every time! 🙂 Say, when the page says, we’re the smartest, hippest people on the planet, it ain’t kidding. You two must be the hip ones. Because:[spoiler]Q: How did the hipster burn his mouth? A: He ate pizza before it was cool[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/133 "2014-03-07T09:45:08Z")
One of my favourite podcasts, that I normally look forward to every week, had an astrologer and poet as their guest today. What a load of hippie-dippy nonsense. Stupid crap like that should not have been given the dignity of being taken seriously. ---
**Author:** ![MickNickMaggies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/59ef9b/32.png) [@MickNickMaggies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MickNickMaggies)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/134 "2014-03-07T13:16:58Z")
My darling husband, Why is it that you can go into work late so that you can catch the curling during the winter Olympics, but you can’t go in late to take you infant daughter to the doctor when Mummy has bronchitis? Said bronchitis-laden Mummy walked there, because she doesn’t drive, and walked back. An hour travel time and a sick person who didn’t actually need to be in the waiting room in the (only) waiting room. Now baby is unwell and Daddy has indicated Mummy is on her own to get baby back. She won’t stop screaming long enough for me to even call the doctor. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/135 "2014-03-07T13:37:35Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > One of my favourite podcasts, that I normally look forward to every week, had an astrologer and poet as their guest today. What a load of hippie-dippy nonsense. Stupid crap like that should not have been given the dignity of being taken seriously. I still remember the episode of my favorite podcast where one of the hosts admitted to being a moon landing denier. ☹ The only reason I’m still a listener is that the other hosts seemed to be just as appalled, and called her out for it (very gently, of course). It hasn’t come up since, and she hasn’t spouted any other wacky conspiracy stuff either. ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/136 "2014-03-07T14:38:36Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Say, when the page says, we’re the smartest, hippest people on the planet, it ain’t kidding. You two must be the hip ones. > > Because:[spoiler]Q: How did the hipster burn his mouth? > > A: He ate pizza before it was cool[/spoiler] Too funny, **kaylasdad99**! I always assumed I was one of the total dipsticks! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/137 "2014-03-07T15:50:33Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > So people who twist their religion to espouse hatred and greed (or adopt one that already does so) are simply telling us who they are in their deepest hearts. Tell me the insult a man hurls the most And I will tell you his deepest fear. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/138 "2014-03-07T16:50:56Z")
> [@MickNickMaggies](#): > > My darling husband, > > Why is it that you can go into work late so that you can catch the curling during the winter Olympics, but you can’t go in late to take you infant daughter to the doctor when Mummy has bronchitis? > > Said bronchitis-laden Mummy walked there, because she doesn’t drive, and walked back. An hour travel time and a sick person who didn’t actually need to be in the waiting room in the (only) waiting room. > > Now baby is unwell and Daddy has indicated Mummy is on her own to get baby back. She won’t stop screaming long enough for me to even call the doctor. …I’m assuming the only reason he’s still alive is because you’re too weak to do the job yourself and the baby’s crying too loudly to call a professional in? Because that is massive neglect of the both of you on his part, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/139 "2014-03-07T17:08:04Z")
Why does Mummy not drive? Why is Daddy not pitching in when both spouse and offspring are sick? Does Baby have bronchitis? ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2014, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588/140 "2014-03-07T17:17:08Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > One of my favourite podcasts, that I normally look forward to every week, had an astrologer and poet as their guest today. What a load of hippie-dippy nonsense. Stupid crap like that should not have been given the dignity of being taken seriously. I pit you for your apparent equal disdain for astrology and poetry. Astrology is total crap. Poetry can be divine. Maybe you don’t want to listen to poetry on a podcast, but have a little respect. (Stops shaking finger in the general direction of **GuanoLad** , puts hands in pocket, wanders away whistling.) Roddy [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-rants-came-marching-one-by-one-march-minirants/682588.md?page=8)