# The Razor Wars, because you'll believe anything... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 15, 2005, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719 "2005-09-15T03:21:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719/41 "2005-09-16T03:50:05Z")
[The Dread Pirate Corky swings in on the rigging from anther thread to hijack this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=334235&page=1&pp=50) Arrr! Pirates don’t need any shavin’ razors. Well apart from cuttin’ throats and we have a cutlass for that. We’re reaching convergence when the fake news has more credibility than the real news. I’m waiting for Ted Koppel to take over _The Daily Show_. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719/42 "2005-09-16T12:16:38Z")
Just wanna note – this isn’t the first case of fake news predating reality. several of Laugh-In’s “News of the Future” comedy bits actually happened. And HarvArd Lampoon’s parody of USA Today has the headline story about the divorce between Prince Charles and Lady Di a decade before the real thing. (I bought the USA Today real story to keep right next to the parody one). ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719/43 "2005-09-16T12:22:29Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Just wanna note – this isn’t the first case of fake news predating reality. several of Laugh-In’s “News of the Future” comedy bits actually happened. And HarvArd Lampoon’s parody of USA Today has the headline story about the divorce between Prince Charles and Lady Di a decade before the real thing. (I bought the USA Today real story to keep right next to the parody one). Their was a classic “News of the Future” from around '68 that made a joke about President Reagan in 1984. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719/44 "2005-09-16T12:50:19Z")
_My_ razor blade has an edge composed of quantum singularities. No stubble to rinse away! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719/45 "2005-09-16T12:53:06Z")
I lay down under the lawnmower. It’s not that close, but the stubble gets mulched, so I have that going for me. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719/46 "2005-09-16T13:04:58Z")
That Onion article was restrained compared to the real-world promos. Listen to this guy. . . “The Schick launch has nothing to do with this, it’s like comparing a Ferrari to a Volkswagen as far as we’re concerned,” said Chairman, President and Chief Executive James Kilts. From the real article > [@](#): > > Some had expected Gillette to bring out a four-bladed razor, perhaps a self-lubricating one. Instead, it jumped to five blades, or six including the trimmer, and will sell Fusion-branded shaving gels and after shave balm. > > “There was never a plan to go to four,” he said. said Peter Hoffman, president of Gillette’s blades and razors business, who said Fusion was in the development pipeline for several years. From the Onion article > [@](#): > > I’m telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we’re standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we’re the chumps. Well, fuck it. We’re going to five blades. > > Sure, we could go to four blades next, like the competition. That seems like the logical thing to do. After all, three worked out pretty well, and four is the next number after three. So let’s play it safe. Let’s make a thicker aloe strip and call it the Mach3SuperTurbo. Why innovate when we can follow? Oh, I know why: Because we’re a business, that’s why! Hilarious. Nice find, **Hail Ants**. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719/47 "2005-09-16T13:29:57Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > Eventually, someone is going to take this trend to its logical limit and invent a miniature belt sander that abrades away your whiskers. It will be advertised as being “like an infinite number of tiny blades.” [Will this do?](http://www.ballbeauty.com/hair_removal_mittens.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719/48 "2005-09-16T13:38:22Z")
C’mon girls…enough with the multiblade razors. _ **Real** _ men singe it off with a blowtorch. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719/49 "2005-09-16T14:50:13Z")
Every morning a masked mexican swordsman comes over and removes my 5:00 shadow with a quick flick of the wrist. Fast and painless but sometimes he leaves with my lady over his shoulder. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719/50 "2005-09-16T15:14:56Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Every morning a masked mexican swordsman comes over and removes my 5:00 shadow with a quick flick of the wrist. Fast and painless but sometimes he leaves with my lady over his shoulder. [dead camp voice]“Removes my 5:00 shadow”? Is _that_ what the boys are calling it now?[/dcv] 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719/51 "2005-09-16T15:25:38Z")
I find this suspect… > [@](#): > > the **50 percent** of men who have mustaches and beards. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719/52 "2005-09-16T15:49:17Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > I will buy this the first day I see it, probably. The power version. Because I’m a loser like that. (Or because I love my M3Power. I don’t think that more blades=better, I just think that the mach 3 blades are more comfortable in general.) I’ve never understood what a “power razor” (not an electric) is supposed to do. My hand shakes enough on it’s own already. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719/53 "2005-09-16T16:00:42Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I’ve never understood what a “power razor” (not an electric) is supposed to do. My hand shakes enough on it’s own already. Rather than pull the hair until the blade cuts it, the movement of the blades cut through the hair like a little chain-saw. It really does make a difference. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-razor-wars-because-youll-believe-anything/321719.md?page=2)